Seventh Inning Stretch
by Live720
Summary: After a drunken one-night-stand, an engaged Bella wakes up to sexy Jacob Black. Reacquainted with him four weeks later at a baseball game, will she be able to resist? AH, OOC, Lemony goodness.
1. The Beginning of the End

"**SORT OF BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGE" Example Entry**

**Title: **Seventh Inning Stretch

**Your pen name(s): **Live720

**Disclaimer: This is a judge's sample entry for the Sort of Beautiful Challenge. **

**I hope this will help to give an idea of what we're looking for.**

**I don't own anything except my massive college loan debt. Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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**Summary: What happens when an engaged Bella meets up with her drunken one-night stand at a baseball game, after she thought she'd never see him again? Will she be able to put the past behind her or will she be lured back into her lust for the sexy Jacob Black? Sample entry for the SOB challenge, AH, OOC, Rated M for Lemony goodness.**

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**Seventh**** Inning Stretch**

**Bella's POV**

_What the hell did I do last night?_

My head was pounding, my throat sore and scratchy, and my entire body ached from my head all the way down to toes. I wasn't stupid, so I kept my eyes tightly shut and brought my hand up to cover them, providing an extra shield from the sun that was currently shining through my bedroom window as though it had not a single care in the world. It would figure that the stupid ball of fire would decide to come out to play the same day that I, Ms. Isabella, "goody two shoes" Swan decided to get drunk off my ass, only to wake up with what I would now argue was the worst hangover in the entire world's history of hangovers. In fact, I'd put money on it.

Eventually, after mentally arguing with myself over whether or not movement would be wise, I managed to roll over to my back, frowning in light of the fact that Edward was hogging all the damn covers again. I had just rolled over the rest of the way and was about to wrap my arm around him, when I instinctively opened my eyes and froze. Edward definitely did not have skin that dark…or arms that big…or...

Holy shit! Mary, mother of God in Heaven! I flung myself up onto my knees, pulling whatever part of the sheet I could muster up to cover my naked body. My eyes widened in complete shock as they locked on an unfamiliar sleeping face, a face that didn't belong to the man I was supposed to be marrying in less than eight months, a face that was framed with short, spiky black hair and contained lips so full any girl would die for them. I involuntarily brought my fingertips to my own lips as I wondered if I had them pressed up against his the night before. Almost in a daze, I raked my gaze down his body, slowly drinking in his broad shoulders, his perfectly sculpted abs, and I couldn't stop myself from reveling in the way the white sheet hung low on his hips, exposing a delicious V that practically begged any onlooker to continue heading down further until they reached the "true" prize. I gulped loudly, trying to pull myself together and somehow tear my stare away from the perfection in front of me.

_Wait, what the hell was I doing? _I was naked, in my bed…

I stopped my train of thought as I glanced around the room for the first time, realizing that I was most definitely _not_ in my bedroom. The room had white walls instead of my familiar pale yellow and there were clothes and books and…_junk_ piled everywhere. That's when I noticed the room actually smelled like a man. It smelled like earth, and rain, and pizza, and…Old Spice?

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Did I have sex with him? _

I quickly shot myself off the bed, careful not to wake him, as I ran around the room in a flustered frenzy, trying to gather up the remnants of my scattered clothing.

My purple granny panties were underneath the computer desk. _Shit, why did I have to wear those? _I gave myself a quick facepalm before I realized my underwear of choice was currently the least of my worries.

My black push-up bra was hanging off a small lamp shade next to the bed where his body lay lifeless and at peace. I wanted to jump on him and beat the crap out of his pretty face for taking advantage of me in my drunken stupor. A smaller part of me, a part I was trying to pretend didn't exist, wanted to crawl back in bed with him and pretend like I was a different girl, a single girl, a girl that was waking up from one of the most amazing nights she has ever experienced. Only, I couldn't remember much from the so-called amazing night yet, and I was most definitely _not_ single.

I snapped myself out of my contemplations and continued on my clothing search. My denim jean skirt was at the foot of the bed, but my shirt was MIA. I quickly scurried into my skirt, threw on my bra, and was in the process of pulling up my panties, when I was shocked to hear him speak.

"Going somewhere?" he asked, his voice deep and groggy. I froze mid-pull; my skirt hiked up my thighs, and slowly lifted my eyes to meet his. He was pushing himself up from his bed with one elbow while rubbing his hair and eyes with his other hand. My eyes automatically diverted down to discover that his movements caused the sheet to fall even lower on his hips. I cleared my throat and quickly glanced away, wanting to curse the blood that was now pooling mercilessly into my cheeks.

"I uh…was just…um…," I tried to speak as I quickly finished pulling my underwear on, smoothed my skirt, and wrapped my arms around my chest in an attempt at some concealment, before I mustered up enough courage to look at him again. "Did we…?"

"Did we what?" he asked, smirking and quirking an eyebrow at me. Okay, so he was obviously getting much amusement out of my embarrassment.

"God, don't make me say it," I said, nervously running a hand through my tangled hair. "You know what I mean."

"Yes," he said simply, as he not-so-modestly climbed out of bed, pulled on the closest pair of boxers he could find, and walked over to his bedroom door. I watched him curiously as he reached behind it and held up my pink, silky tank top.

"Thanks," I said, before asking, "and are you saying yes that you know what I mean, or yes that we…?" I trailed off and tried to hide my surprise after seeing his delicious stark naked body, while I walked over to him and grabbed my shirt out of his grip before pulling it on over my head.

"Yes, I know what you mean," he said, gently grabbing my wrists, stopping me from completely pulling down my shirt. "And yes, we fucked," he added, staring me intently in the eyes, just before he reached down and helped me to smooth it. "And yes, it was incredible." His gaze held mine as I tried to remember how to breathe and attempted to wrap my mind around the repercussions of what he had just informed me. I was vaguely aware of the fact that one of his hands was now sliding underneath my shirt, his hot fingertips grazing against my bare flesh, causing me to shiver. His other hand was tangling into my hair, grasping the back of my head and trying to pull me closer.

"Don't you remember anything?" he asked, his voice just above a husky whisper.

"No," I said almost breathlessly, trying to figure out why everything he did felt so right but yet seemed so very…_very_ wrong. I didn't even know this man, but somehow I was afraid that we were very much acquainted. His proximity automatically had an effect on me.

"Well then, why don't I give you a little refresher?" he asked softly, closing the small gap between us and pressing his full lips to mine. He kissed me chastely for a second before moving his lips to my jaw and leaving a heated trial of kisses back to my ear. My eyes fluttered shut as I tried to convince myself that I needed to back away, that I needed to leave, that my heart belonged to someone else. However, I felt defenseless beneath his touch, his hot mouth clouding my judgment and making it nearly impossible for me to resist.

"You asked me if we could go somewhere to be alone," he whispered, his breath tickling the cells of my neck, my body instantly responding and arching toward him. "I brought you to my house. You took off all of your clothes and then started working ferociously on mine. You were very impatient and very demanding," he said in between kisses as he began working his way down my neck. My breathing grew shallow and my heart increased its once steady pace inside of my chest.

He pulled back slightly to lock eyes with me again before saying, "You were screaming my name, begging me to take you harder, to take you faster.

"I fucked you four times, in four different ways, and gave you eight of the most intense orgasms you ever experienced."

I stood completely stunned and speechless, taken slightly aback by his forwardness and unable to wrap my mind around what he was saying. How could I not remember any of it? More importantly, how could I have let it happen? I loved Edward with every last part of my beating heart. It was so unlike me to go out and drink, let alone leave with some guy I didn't even know.

"And, you told me you belonged to me now," he breathed, as he pointedly brought my left hand up to his mouth and kissed the flesh just above Edward's bright and shiny 3 karat, emerald cut, diamond ring.

His mouth was on mine a second later, taking away any opportunity I had to speak. I let out an involuntary gasp as he kissed my hungrily, desperately pulling my body closer against his.

A landslide of emotions came crashing down on me all at once as flashes from the night before began to enter into my consciousness. They were sketchy and vague, random images of his smile at the club, his body glistening with sweat as it hovered on top of mine, the name "Jacob" escaping my lips in guttural moans of pleasure. My body was pleading with me to respond to his kiss, to wrap myself up in the heat of his embrace and allow him to consume me completely. My heart was breaking at the thought of Edward and the betrayal I was causing him, while my head was trying to tell me that while this kiss felt very right, it was most definitely very wrong. Somehow, I managed to gain control over myself and brought my hands up between us, pushing off his chest to break free.

"No, Jacob" I said a little louder than necessary while dramatically shaking my head back and forth. "I can't. I shouldn't have…I mean, we shouldn't have done this."

"You remember my name," he said, smiling.

"I'm sorry, but that's all" I said, glancing over to the small digital clock on his computer desk. "Shit! I have to go!" I hissed, realizing that Edward was probably wondering where I was. I frantically scanned the room in search of my purse, Jacob beating me to it and walking over to his computer desk before picking it up and dangling it in the air between us.

I ran over to him and grabbed it roughly out of his hands, quickly fumbling around inside it for my cell phone. I heard Jacob sigh as my fingers felt the small device, pulling it out and glancing at the "seven missed alerts" on the screen. Five of them were from Edward, two of them telephone calls and three of them text messages. The other two were from my best friend, Angela, asking me if I made it home okay. _Fucking, Angela_! I was with her at the club last night. How could she let me leave with some random guy?

"Is somebody missing you?" Jacob asked me, but I completely ignored him as I let my eyes anxiously scan over the text messages from Edward.

**Hey babe, guess you just went straight to bed. Hope you had fun with Ang. Sorry I missed you. Please call in the morn. Love you. **_Sent at 1:15 a.m._

**Still sleeping? I hope everything's OK. Love and miss you. **_Sent 10:03 a.m._

**Bella, where are you? Im getting worried. Please call me soon. **_Sent 11:06 a.m._

I winced and pressed delete, realizing the last message was sent over twenty minutes ago. I managed to hold back the tears that were now stinging my eyes and swallowed the lump that was presently forming in the base of my throat.

_My God, what have I done?_

Taking one last look in Jacob's direction, I could only imagine what I must look like to him, what he must think of me now. _I was just a cheap whore to him, the type of girl that would cheat on her life partner, an easy fuck. _I felt sick.

"I love my fiancé," I suddenly said, not entirely sure why. Was I trying to prove it to him or was I trying to convince myself?

Jacob's eyes widened slightly before he collected himself and took a deep breath, running a hand through his thick hair again. "I'm sure you do," he said, dryly.

"So I take it I won't be seeing you again?" he asked after a moment, when I just stood motionless and didn't reply.

"Never again," I whispered, the tears starting to break through my weak barrier and collect along the rims of my eyes. "What we did last night…well, I mean, I was drunk. It meant nothing to me. _You_ mean nothing to me, so let's just pretend it never happened, okay?"

As soon as the words left my lips, I knew they were a lie. But, why? Why did I care about someone I knew nothing about? Why did I care about someone I couldn't even remember?

He frowned, but didn't protest.

_No, Jacob, please tell me it meant something._

I followed him numbly as he guided me to the front door, an awkward silence extending between us.

_Please tell me I wasn't just a meaningless fuck._

He opened it to see me out.

_Please. Please. Please._

"Goodbye, Bella," he said, and I thought I heard sadness etched in his tone.

I nodded my head and turned to leave.

He didn't try to stop me.

* * *

I was living a lie and it was starting to wear me down. How anyone could easily get away with having an affair was beyond me. I felt as though every time Edward looked at me, he would see straight through my dishonesty. I feared that each time he touched me; he would sense that another man had been there, too. I was edgy and distant and it was no longer going unnoticed by the people closest to me. Prior to my one-night mista—no, I couldn't bear to think of it that way anymore. Prior to my night with Jacob, I had never lied to Edward. _Never_. Now it was all I ever got done doing. One lie led to another, which led to another. It was a never-ending dance of torture and deception.

The memories started almost instantaneously following my departure from Jacob's house that day. At first they were vague and dreamlike, almost as though I were watching them from someone else's eyes. Then, as the days passed by, they became more detailed and realistic. I woke up numerous nights, my body doused in sweat, as I relived the intimate details of me and Jacob's night of passion. I could clearly remember the welcoming smell of his breath and the earthy taste of his tongue the first time he kissed me passionately, pushing me up against the front door of his house, making up my mind that there was no going back from there. I could still feel the way his hands felt when they touched every last inch of my body, the body that has only ever been touched by one other man before him. I tried to push the recollections aside, tried to concentrate on my upcoming wedding to the man I once thought meant everything to me, but it was no use. Jacob was still very present in my mind, weighing down on my conscience, and forcing me to start rethinking everything I once thought to be true.

Angela was the only person that knew about my affair.

Of course, the lies all began with me telling Edward I had stayed at her house the night he couldn't get a hold of me. Therefore, I had to ask Ang to go along with the lie, which ultimately caused her to question my true whereabouts. Apparently she left the club early with some guy after I told her I would take my own taxi home, assuring her I'd be just fine. Ang was truly a female version of a playboy, but I couldn't help but love her.

"Commitment phobia," she would say to justify her actions, her long, black hair framing her face perfectly, as she would grin back at me through her thick-rimmed, trendy glasses.

"Commitment phobia," Edward would say when I brought her up in our conversations, his piercing green eyes dancing with amusement. Then, he'd run his fingers through his tousled reddish-bronzed hair and follow with, "You know I love her, but you just better not let her influence you too much, babe."

I was angry with her at first, but eventually I knew I had no right. I was a responsible adult who should have been able to make my own "right" decisions. The whole situation was my fault and it would be unfair to try and place some of the blame on her.

Regardless, she was shocked by my news at first, but then assured me that everything would be just fine. She convinced me not to tell Edward the truth, saying it was selfish to hurt him just so I wouldn't have to feel guilty anymore.

The weeks passed, the lies grew, and my façade slowly began to falter.

* * *

"If Emmett ever slept with someone else, I'd cut his nuts off," Rose quipped, a devious grin lighting up her flawless beauty. She was walking hand-in hand with her husband, Emmett, after the four of us climbed out of Edward's Mercedes, the perks of working in politics, and began making our way across Parking Lot A of the Washington National's baseball stadium.

"Yeah right, like I'd even think to look at anyone else after having you to come home to every night," Emmett replied through a boisterous chuckle. Edward just shook his head and rolled his eyes before tightening his grip on my hand and glancing down at me.

"You okay, babe?" he asked quietly, for only my ears to hear as we followed behind them. Of course, Emmett and Rose had to talk about the latest Hollywood scandals our entire drive, joking around about affairs as if they were no big deal. I tried not to show my discomfort, but I knew I was tense. I couldn't help but to be silent most of the way, and I could feel that my face was turning white.

The four of us, Edward and I along with his sister, Rose, and Emmett, decided to spend our Sunday afternoon at our local team's baseball game. I wasn't much of a baseball fan, but the games were always nice and relaxing, and it gave Rose and me time to bond while the guys made bets on the scores and batting averages.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, removing my hand from his and welcoming the distraction of having to search my purse for our tickets.

They continued on with their bantering while we approached the main entrance of the stadium. We handed in our tickets, Rose and I getting our purses checked, before we were finally free to make our way to our seats.

"Section 128," Rose said looking at the large signs hanging from steel rooftops, "is this way."

She hooked her arm into Emmett's and pulled him to the right as Edward took my hand again and we followed. We weaved our way in and out of passing bodies, trying to keep up with our friends.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Edward asked me as we passed several vendors and food stands.

"Nah, I'm not really hungry," I said honestly, my stomach protesting to just the thought of food.

"I kind of want some nachos," he said, stopping in front of a stand that sells them and yelling for Emmett and Rose to wait.

Rose and I waited next to one of the garbage cans while the guys stood in line to get their game day eats. The stadium was packed; people pushing passed us and hurrying off to their intended destinations.

"Fucking arrogant bastards," she hissed, after a group of college-aged boys in particular walked passed, one of them rubbing up against her more than what was necessary. I was used to getting special attention from the opposite sex when I was with her. Any other time, it was rare that I would even get a second glance. Rose was a blonde bombshell, with her perfect, all-natural rack and thin, tanned legs for days. Even in her Washington Nationals tee, her long hair pulled into a messy ponytail on top of her head, she looked amazing. It was difficult not to feel inferior, even if I usually was comfortable in my own skin.

"That's disgusting," I said, wrinkling my nose and narrowing my eyes toward their retreating forms.

"Boys will be boys," she said waving them off. "Besides, can't really say I blame them. We are pretty sexy…"

She continued to speak, but I failed to listen. Something else caught my attention, a familiar stride, a familiar face, a familiar body. My breath caught in my throat as I stood completely frozen, unable to tear my eyes away as he slowly walked in our direction, completely oblivious to me while laughing with one of his friends. Time seemed to stand still as my eyes scanned over his features, the features that I haven't seen in over four weeks--the thick, black hair, the russet-colored skin, and the full lips. The closer he got, the more of his features I could make out, and the more anxious I felt. I noticed the way his eyes lit up when he smiled, his perfect teeth, and his "sort of beautiful" body beneath the white T-shirt he was wearing that fit snugly, accentuating his thick biceps. I watched like a voyeur for a second, my mouth parting on its own accord, before he turned his head from his friend, his eyes unintentionally searching the crowd and eventually locking directly on mine. I swallowed hard and tried to tear my gaze away, but I couldn't. His eyes widened slightly, his stare questioning mine as we shared a silent exchange across the crowd, people crossing in between us, but never fully breaking our connection.

"Hello, earth to Bella," Rose said, waving her hand in front of my face and bringing me out of my daze. I jumped slightly, quickly turning my body away from Jacob, and focusing my attention back to her. "God, you look like you want to eat that Indian guy."

"I um…I mean, what? No! Of course not, why would I--"

"He's coming over here," she said, crossing her arms in front of her chest and smiling in amusement. "Oh, you really did it now. He's licking his lips, I think he wants you."

"What? Are you serious? Oh my God, no! We have to go!" I shouted as quietly as possible, grabbing on to her arm and looking around for a place to hide. It was too late, though. I could feel his presence behind me long before I heard him speak.

"Bella?" his voice questioned, my eyes automatically closing and my posture tensing. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes again to find that Rose was extending a questioning glance between us. Slowly, I turned around to face him, expecting to be assaulted with the memories of our last encounter. What I wasn't expecting, however, was the intense way my body automatically responded to him--my mouth watered, my pelvis heated, and my mind clouded over.

"J-Jacob…hello," I managed to say, reflexively shooting a glance toward the concession stand to find that Edward was at the front of the line, distracted with ordering.

"Fancy seeing you here," he said, smiling wryly, before darting an inconspicuous glance in Rose's direction.

"Yeah, you know, just a nice day out with my **fiancé** and our friends," I said, careful to add emphasis to the word fiancé.

Rose held out her hand to him, taking it upon herself to provide her own introduction. "Hey there, I'm Rosalie, and you are?"

Jacob shook her hand, unable to stop himself from looking her over appreciatively. And, suddenly I was jealous, jealous of a man that I held no ties over, jealous that he would look at any other girl besides me.

"I'm Jacob Black, but you can call me Jake," he said, winking, as I realized that was the first time I heard his last name. _How classy_. Then he added, "Oh, and your friend and I are…well um, we're very much _acquainted, _I guess you could say. Isn't that right, Bella?"

I felt my cheeks turn hot and cleared my throat, glaring at him. "Yes, high school friends," I replied, recovering immediately.

He quirked an eyebrow at me while Rose intently watched our little exchange. "High-school friends? I don't think so," he said and I opened my mouth to protest, but he interrupted me and continued with, "more like junior high, grades **six** through **nine** to be exact."

I relaxed noticeably before I realized his emphasis on the six and the nine.

"That's strange, she never mentioned you before," Rose said, and if I didn't know any better I'd say there was a hint of a sneer in her tone.

"Hmm, yes that is rather odd," Jacob said, holding my gaze.

"Those bastards were completely out of jalapenos," Emmett huffed, as he and Edward returned with their hands full of fountain drinks and food.

I stared at Jacob a beat too long before glancing over at Edward and providing him a weak and flustered smile. Edward darted his eyes between Jacob and I with his brow furrowed for a moment before he smiled down at me. "I got you a diet soda and some Sour Patch Kids," he said, my heart breaking because he was off buying me my favorite candy while I was thinking dirty thoughts about another man.

"Thanks," I said, glancing over at Jacob again to find him studying Edward while he took a sip of his soda. "Well, Jacob, it was nice seeing you again, but we should be heading to our seats," I said to him, trying to get his attention away from my fiancé.

Edward glanced up from his drink at that opportune moment, a look of surprise on his face as he shifted around his belongings so he could extend his hand. "Oh I'm sorry, how rude of me. I'm Edward, are you a friend of Bella's?"

"They are very much "acquainted," Rose replied, mockingly. Jacob shook Edward's hand and grinned while Emmett looked at Rose in confusion.

"Yeah, what the firecracker said," Jake replied, chuckling, as Emmett released another boisterous laugh. "Hey, you got her pegged already," he said, though his face immediately turned serious once he noticed the daggers Rose was shooting in his direction.

"Let's go," she said, pulling Emmett away before looking back to fake-smile at Jake again. "Pleasure meeting you."

Jacob laughed lightly and then focused his attention back to Edward and me. Edward put his free arm protectively around my lower back, pulling me impossibly closer to him. "Well I guess that's our cue to leave. Nice meeting you, Jacob," he said, before nodding and guiding me away.

Once we were a safe distance from him, he let go of me and readjusted our food and drinks. "I didn't like the way he was looking at you."

"Yeah, me either," I replied.

Another lie.

Because the truth was, I never wanted Jacob to take his eyes off me. Not then. Not now. _Not ever again._

* * *

It was the bottom of the fifth inning, the sun was burning high the in sky, causing Rose and I to roll the sleeves of our T-shirts up, making home-made tank tops. Edward and Emmett were sitting in between us, occasionally yelling out obscenities toward the umpires and chanting along with the sold-out crowd. I was getting bored, tired, and hot, so I pulled out my Blackberry and connected to the web to check my email. I was just about to respond to one that my mother sent me, when my phone vibrated and lit up, alerting me to a new text message.

I clicked out of my email and went into my missed alerts, bringing up a message that instantaneously interrupted the once steady pace of my beating heart.

**I can't take my eyes off of you.**

I didn't recognize the number, but I knew who it was from. I sucked in a breath and swallowed thickly, quickly closing out of the message and glancing up at Edward. His attention was on the game as he leaned back in his chair, his arm draped lazily across the back of my seat. I turned my attention away from him and darted my eyes anxiously through the thousands of heads in the crowd. _Where was he?_ He was obviously watching me even though I couldn't see him.

I clicked open the message again and hit reply.

**Where are you?**

After my phone alerted me that it was sent, I put the screen face down on my lap and tried to act calm. Edward glanced over at me and squeezed my upper arm. We exchanged smiles before he turned his focus to the game again.

My phone vibrated a second later.

**Don't worry about it. **

I glared at his message before putting my phone back down on my lap and crossing my arms in front of my chest.

Vibrate.

**If I was him, my hand would be on your thigh. How can he resist touching you?**

My eyes widened and my mouth watered.

**I'm not playing these games. **I hit send and waited. The crowd cheered, Edward and Emmett both standing to their feet and shouting "RUN" at the top of their lungs. I glanced over at Rosalie and she rolled her eyes, shrugging. I smiled and shook my head.

Vibrate.

**I can't stop thinking about you. **I read that particular text a couple of times, unable to stop my lips from turning upward into a smile. I glanced over at Edward again to find he was sitting back down now and arguing with Emmett about a call one of the umpires had made.

**I know the feeling. **My hand danced around the "send" button for quite some time, before I finally inwardly said "fuck it" and pressed it.

**Please say you'll see me again.**

**You know I can't.**

The fifth inning had come to an end, Edward stood up and stretched before looking down at me and saying, "Who are you talking to?"

I quickly closed out of my messages and shrugged it off.

"Just Ang," I lied, Rose leaning up in her seat to grin at me.

"That girl is crazy," she said, shaking her head and laughing. "How the two of you are friends is beyond me. You have nothing in common."

Vibrate.

I desperately wanted to look at what he said, but I knew I couldn't. Not yet.

"Yeah I know," I agreed, my voice a little shaky with nervous energy. "We make an odd pair."

"Tell her your trying to watch a baseball game with your lover," Edward said to me, sitting back down and giving me a chaste kiss on the cheek. His nose slid back and lingered in the crook of my neck as he breathed me in. "You smell good, babe. New perfume?"

"New shampoo," I clarified, trying to ignore the fact that his proximity no longer made my body cover in goosebumps the same way that Jacob's did.

Thankfully, the sixth inning started and all attention was back on the game, rather than on me. I hurriedly picked up my phone and drank in his words.

**But you want to?**

**It doesn't matter what I want. This is wrong.**

**Good things are never right. Are you wearing sexy underwear?**

I felt my face flush and my inner thighs itch.

**That's hardly appropriate. **_I was._

**Don't worry I'll find out soon enough.**

**I wouldn't be so sure.**

**Meet me at the bottom of the seventh.**

**No.**

**Yes.**

**No.**

**I'm done texting you now, meet me by the same stand where we met earlier. I'll see you there.**

I frowned at my phone and started to type a protest before I gave up. He was right. I was going to meet him whether I wanted to or not. The truth was, I didn't have the strength to stay away.

* * *

"I have to use the bathroom," I said, inwardly pleading that Rose wouldn't go all "girl" on me and decide she suddenly had to go too.

"Want me to come with you?" Edward asked, as I stood up and picked up my purse. I tried to hide the fact that my hands were trembling.

"No!" I said a little too loudly, earning me raised eyebrows from him.

"Okay, okay," he said, laughing lightly. "Can you throw these away?"

I nodded and picked up our empty food and drink containers before quickly walking away. Thank God for Rosalie McCartney. She didn't follow.

I felt like I was going to throw up as I entered into the corridor, my legs feeling like rubber as I walked toward the nearest trash can and disposed of our junk. I stopped for a second and tried to convince myself to turn around and go back to my seat, to return to the man that I'm supposed to be marrying, the man that loved me unconditionally. I didn't know what Jacob had in mind, but somehow I knew that this meeting would change everything. It was almost as if I was at a crossroads. Choose to return to seat and put Jacob behind me or choose to meet up with him and continue on with our twisted affair.

My legs made the decision for me as they started carrying me in the direction of the nachos and hot dogs concession stand. My heart was pounding ferociously in my chest as I tried to steady my breathing. _What was I doing? What was I doing? What was I doing?_

I turned a corner and saw him standing there waiting for me, his hands comfortably resting in the pockets of his light-washed, low-rise jeans. I bit down on my bottom lip, stopping in my tracks and taking in his appearance_. God, he was sexy._ His eyes were scanning through the crowd, and it warmed my heart knowing he was looking for me. _Me. _It made me feel desirable. It made me feel wanted.

His eyes finally met mine, his face instantly lighting up into the smile I was quickly realizing I loved to see. He held up his hand and motioned me over with his index finger. I crossed the distance between us, weaving in and out of the crowd, before finally finding myself inches in front of him. Without saying a word, he grabbed my hand and pulled me back in a small hallway between the concession stands. I noticed that the hallway housed what appeared to be a door to a handicap, unisex bathroom. Before I could speak, he pushed me up against the cement wall beside the lonely door, his lips crashing on mine a moment later. I gasped into his mouth, roughly throwing my arms around his neck and pulling him closer against me, my pent up passion for him finally breaking free. _If I had any doubts about this—about him—they flew right out the window._

His tongue flooded my mouth, the taste of him filling me entirely and intoxicating my senses. It was better than I remembered, my dreams not doing him justice. His hands slide down my body and underneath the sides of my shirt, his mouth leaving mine and trailing kisses along my jaw as he pressed himself against me, his arousal connecting with my pelvis.

"People can see," I breathed, no longer able to bring myself to care. If Edward walked passed us at that very moment, I doubted I'd be able to stop myself from devouring Jacob completely.

"Let them watch me fuck you then," he said against my skin, causing a slight whimper to escape my hold.

I arched myself further into him and slid my hands down the definitions of his back, bringing them under his thin shirt. I could feel his hot flesh beneath my fingertips, and I knew I was too far gone to be aware of any of our surroundings anymore. He was the only thing that mattered. That moment was the only thing that counted.

Jacob's hands slid down between us as his fingers began working on the button of my jean shorts. I felt myself moving, felt Jacob shift, one of his hands releasing me. The next thing I knew, I was being backed into a bathroom, the door closing behind us, his lips meeting mine and never leaving. He was the one pressed up against the door now, while I attacked him from the front. He quickly unfastened my button, tugged the zipper down, and slid his hand down the front of my shorts and inside my underwear. I gasped when I felt his fingers caress my sensitive flesh, moisture pouring out and responding.

I pressed myself firmly against his hand and moaned into his mouth as he began to move his fingers in circles where I needed him most.

"Oh God, Jacob, please," I begged, urging him on, my body arching and grinding out of my control.

"Tell me what you want," he said huskily, as he spontaneously spun us around and pressed my back to the door instead.

"You, I want you," I whimpered, my fingers shakily reaching down and trying to unfasten his jeans. "Only you."

He stopped his movements inside of my pants and pulled his hands out, before gripping onto my wrists and halting my movements. I watched in confusion as he brought my left hand up between us and slowly removed the diamond from my fourth finger.

"What are you--" I started to protest, but he interrupted me.

"You can have it back when I'm finished with you," he said, his voice dark and dripping with lust.

Before, I could say another word; he flung it into his pocket and brought his mouth to mine again. He yanked my shorts down over my hips, my underwear following suit. Both of our hands reached between us, fumbling with his jeans until they were unbuttoned, unzipped and pulled slightly down his waist. I reached into his boxer briefs as my tongue danced with his. The moment I wrapped my fingers around him completely, he groaned into my mouth, only urging me to move faster. Our kisses grew hungrier and more demanding and there was nothing soft and gentle about our motions. I began to slide my hand up and down the length of him, but he stopped me.

"No, I want to be inside you."

I nodded as he pulled back and looked back at me with hooded eyes. I helped him slide his boxer briefs down, felt his hands slide up the back of my thighs before cupping my bare ass. In one swift motion, my legs wrapped around his waist as he lifted me up until we were directly in line, the head of him rubbing teasingly against my entrance.

"Please," I begged, just before he lowered me onto him. I knew neither of us could have waited another second. I also knew that if this was considered wrong, then I never wanted to be right again.

I moaned embarrassingly loud as my eyes rolled back and my teeth sunk into my bottom lip.

"Fuck, Bella," Jacob cursed, after he entered me completely. "You feel so good."

He began moving inside of me, his mouth meeting mine before sliding hot and sporadic kisses down my throat.

"I'm not usually this kind of girl," I gasped, suddenly needing him to know just how innocent I truly was, to understand that this meant more to me than a one-night-stand. "You're the only other…you're the only other one but him."

He halted his movements and pulled back to rest his forehead on mine. We were both silent for a moment, both panting heavily as our lungs tried to gain back some oxygen they had been deprived. My mind tried to catch up with our actions, tried to justify why every last cell of body was screaming at me to never let the man that was currently inside of me leave.

"And I wish it was only me, that I could have you all to myself," he said a moment later, his eyes practically burning into mine.

He took a deep breath and began moving inside of me again, the angle indescribable, hitting me in the all the right places while causing ripples of pleasure to shoot through every last nerve ending of my entire body. "Don't stop," I pleaded, my hands desperately tightening their grip on his back and trying to pull him impossibly closer. "I can't…you're just…please just…harder..."

It didn't take long for him to respond, his thrusts becoming harder and faster, causing my back to hit roughly against the bathroom door. Our moans and whimpers escalated in volume, both of us shouting out our need for each other. Our bodies connected perfectly, our tongues danced rhythmically, and our hands caressed steadily. It didn't take long for the familiar fire to begin to build within me, my body filling with a pleasurable pressure, a pressure that was begging to be released. I knew I'd much rather die than stop now.

Everything happened so fast, the room was practically spinning, and I felt like I was drowning in my need for him. I climaxed fast and hard, my body writhing and shaking against him as I continuously cried out his name in ecstasy. A second later, I felt him tense, his hands tightening their grip on my ass just before he pounded deep inside of me one last time. I felt him explode, his body quivering as I rested my head on his shoulder and planted kisses through the thin fabric of his shirt. I felt connected to him, my body and my heart attacked with confliction. My body was realizing that this was where it belonged, while my heart was trying to convince me that it was a mistake, a costly one that should never be made again.

"Holy fuck," he said, when he was through as he gently lowered me to the ground. We both began pulling on our clothes while trying to steady our erratic breathing, a charged silence extending in the air between us. So many emotions were running through me, so many things I wanted to say but didn't know how. _What was he thinking?_ _Was it as amazing for him as it was for me? More importantly, how was I going to marry Edward when the thought of never seeing Jacob again was too much for me to handle._

"I know," I managed to say, turning away from him to look in the bathroom mirror, trying to smooth down some of my tangled hair. I saw his reflection as he approached behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders and turning me around to face him. I wanted to look at everything else in the room but him, suddenly feeling extremely embarrassed for my behavior. All of this was so unlike me, making me barely recognizable anymore.

"You have never looked sexier," he said, stopping me from fixing my hair. "Leave it."

His fingers slid up my neck, grazing gently against the side of my flushed cheeks and causing me to shiver. "I want to see you again."

"Jacob, I can't--"

"Stop," he said, interrupting me, before leaning down and planting a soft kiss to the tip of my nose, then one to my forehead, before finally bringing his lips to mine. He kissed me gently and lovingly, his lips soft and light against mine. It was much different from the way he kissed me moments ago.

"I'll see you soon," he said, both of us realizing our stolen time had come to an end.

"Yeah," I agreed barely above a whisper, "I'll see you soon." He took my hand in his, rubbing it gently as he led me out of the bathroom and we parted ways. It ended faster than it began. My seventh inning stretch went by too quickly and I found that I was dreading having to return to my seat without him by my side.

* * *

I sat back down next to Edward at the beginning of the ninth inning just as he looked over at me and grinned.

"What happened to you?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" Suddenly I was feeling self-conscious, my fingers automatically reaching up to smooth my hair. I knew my lips were probably swollen, my face most likely flushed and glowing.

"You were gone a long time, are you okay?" he asked as I expelled a breath of air I hadn't even realized I was holding in.

"Oh yeah," I said, swallowing nervously. "I'm fine, I just um…I found a girl that lost her parents and needed to help her find them." _Oh, great! Good one, moron!_

Edward chuckled, his eyes wrinkling the way I loved, as he shook his head back and forth. "Leave it to my girl to save the world on her way back from the bathroom."

I forced a smile and felt my heart sink. _Yeah, saving the world, alright. _That's when I noticed it out of the corner of my eye.

Left hand.

Fourth finger.

Bare flesh.

No ring.

My eyes widened and I quickly pushed it behind me and out of view. I'd definitely be seeing Jacob Black again.

And soon.

* * *

**A/N: So what did you think of baseball sex Jacob?**

**Thanks for reading my one-shot example entry. **

**Please go to http://www[DOT]fanfiction[DOT]net/u/2046940/SORT_OF_BEAUTIFUL_CHALLENGE for all the contests rules and regulations. **

**We're all looking forward to what you can come up with! Send us some hot and steamy Jacobs!! **

**Thanks to my Team SOB ladies for the encouragement and support! Love you!  
**

**As always, reviews are much appreciated! *mwah***


	2. Beautiful Drowning

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns all.**

***Since I'm not actually competing in the SOB contest, I'm allowed to continue on with my one-shot.**

****Note: So, I'm doing something a little crazy. We'll give it a go and see how it works out. Here's the deal. I'm writing the SAME exact story twice, just changing up the pairings. If you already read **_**Seventh Inning Stretch**_**, you'll notice this is the same chapter, only suddenly Emmett is the fiancé and Edward plays the "one night stand." I'm giving you the chance to pick your poison. If you choose Edward/Bella with some Bella/Emmett then **_**Sweet Release**_** is the story for you. If you're fonder of some Bella/Jacob with some Bella/Edward, then **_**Seventh Inning Stretch**_** is the story for you. If you choose to read them both, then you might get bored. Just sayin.**

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* * *

  
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**Seventh Inning Stretch**

**Chapter 2: Beautiful Drowning **

That night, I was solemnly sitting at Edward's desk, the dim lamp casting a faint glow over the pale skin of my hands as I shakily attempted to apply a base coat of nail polish. I tried to concentrate on the task at hand, but my fingers were trembling, the polish getting all over the place as my eyes fixated on the exposed flesh on the fourth finger of my left hand. Jacob Black consumed my thoughts, sped up the pace of my beating heart, and corrupted everything I stood for. I felt myself falling, the walls of the room I shared with Edward narrowing in on me, as the undertow of my passion for another man began to pull me under.

I knew what I needed to do. I knew that I needed to go to Jacob's house, get my ring, and then get out. No questions asks, little words spoken, no time to slip up. I also knew I couldn't allow our depraved encounters to continue, needing to put them behind me, to put _him_ behind me and never see him again. But, why did that seem impossible? Why was my heart sinking into the pit of my stomach at the very thought of saying goodbye to him forever? Why was I suddenly putting four solid years and my relationship with Edward in detrimental danger all because of a man I met twice in my life? I could tell my life was slipping out of my control and I felt weak and helpless, as though there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"What's on your mind?" Edward asked quietly, his voice soft and smooth as velvet, the fresh scent of his soap swirling in the air around me. I hadn't even heard the shower shut off so I jumped at the intrusion into my inner turmoil as I felt his arms wrap around my neck from behind, his lips kissing lovingly at my right ear. His hands slid back as he straightened himself and began massaging my shoulders. I closed my eyes and let my head fall ever-so-slightly forward, trying to force myself from imagining Jacob's hands and the way it felt when he touched me.

"Nothing really," I lied, just above a whisper.

"Why don't you come to bed?" he asked as he released me, the soft patter of his footsteps giving way to his path over to our King-sized bed with the 1,000 thread count sheets, and the blue and yellow comforter that I begged him to purchase from Ethan Ellen one week prior. I heard the bed creak beneath his weight, the bedside lamp flicking on, and his lap top being opened and started up.

"I'll be over as soon as my nails are dry," I said over my shoulder, just before bringing them up to my lips and blowing.

I closed my eyes again and tried to pull myself together, to push Jacob out of my mind completely as Edward's steady typing echoed off the walls around me. He was a business man, always checking his email, responding to things I wasn't allowed to know existed. He worked in the Pentagon for the United States Defense Department, starting as an intern for a few Senators and eventually working his way up the ladder. I wasn't entirely sure what his job entailed, most of it being top secret, but I did know he was required to have a gun in the house and sometimes he even had to take it out with us. I didn't bother asking questions anymore, because I knew I would never get the answers. He left for work at six o'clock in the morning and returned home at six o'clock at night. The money he brought in was generous, allowing me to quit my job at the Holocaust Museum where we met. I convinced myself that it was all that should have mattered. I knew that Edward was a good man. He was disgustingly attractive and wealthy with a decent and respectable upbringing. I knew our life would be free of the restrictions that I had growing up, that we'd never have to worry if the bills would get paid or make the decision to buy food or heat. Marrying him would be the best thing that would ever happen to me and the fact that I was putting that on the line for a good fuck was ludicrous. I needed to stop the fantasies of Jacob Black. _I needed to move on_.

After I was sure my nails were dry and I'd be able to face him without breaking down, I turned myself around in my seat and looked across the dim lit room in his direction. He was propped up on one of our two hundred dollar pillows, his reading glasses resting gently on his nose with his hair in disarray, sticking up in every direction. His hair was one of the first things I noticed about him when I saw him at the museum, looking as though he'd been running his fingers through it all day. It was months later that I found out that was, in fact, the truth, a nervous habit he acquired from his father. He must have felt my eyes on him because he glanced up from his computer screen and smiled in my direction, his eyes wrinkling on the sides and causing a lump of guilt to form at the base of my throat.

He motioned me over with his head while patting the spot designated just for me beside him. I returned his smile, knowing it didn't reach my eyes, and stood up from my seat, crossing the room and climbing into bed. I pulled the covers up over my chest, feeling the comfort they brought me, the combined scents of Edward and me lingering on them, leaving our mark.

"The homework never ends, does it?" I asked, curling up on my side and glancing up at him, unable to see what he was typing.

"I'm afraid not," he said, sighing, typing and clicking a few more times before shutting it down completely and tucking it safely in his briefcase on the floor next to him. He slid further down in the covers, reaching over for me and pulling me on top of him while wrapping his arms firmly around my waist. "However, spending time with my sexy fiancé is far more important. Work can wait until tomorrow." He pulled me down closer to him, kissing me lightly before gliding his lips leisurely along my jaw. I sucked in my breath, trying to push the memories of my unfaithfulness aside.

"Why are you so distant?" He whispered the question in my ear causing me to shiver against the warmth of his breath. I felt his hands slide down my bare thighs under the covers, felt him grow hard beneath me as his nose nuzzled into my ear and he placed a soft kiss on the sensitive skin just below it.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice trembling beneath the brunt of my lies, as my mind rapidly tried to convince myself that I could go through with this, that I could have sex with the man I was supposed to marry. "I'm fine."

"Bella," he breathed against my neck, shifting his hips up to press his erection more firmly against me while his hands slid beneath the back of my thin tank top, caressing my flesh. "You seem like your miles away."

"I'm fine," I repeated, realizing there was no way I could bring myself to sleep with him after being with Jacob just hours before. However, I also knew that I could hardly deprive him of getting his release because of the mistakes I made. When he pressed himself against me again, releasing a soft groan, I strategically slid down his body, my hands gliding down his bare chest before gripping the hem of his boxer briefs and tugging them down until he was exposed. He gasped when I took him into my mouth, throwing his head back and closing his eyes as his hips reflexively shifted up to push himself further down my throat.

I licked and sucked until he came hard and fast, his hands fisting into my hair as he declared his love for me over and over again. I swallowed and then pushed him back inside his briefs, crawling back into my spot without saying a word. He reached for me again, most likely trying to give me "my turn," but I grabbed his hand and kissed his fingers instead.

"You should probably get some sleep," I said quietly, reaching across his body to turn off his bedside lamp. "It's almost eleven o'clock." He had work in the morning and I hoped he would just let everything else slide.

"Okay," he said softly, and I knew he could tell there was something wrong, but he knew I wasn't going to discuss it.

I laid back down and curled on my side with my back to him, feeling him lay down beside me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer.

"Goodnight, my Bella," he murmured into my hair. "I love you more than anything else."

"Love you too," I managed to choke out before the silent tears rolled down my cheeks.

I laid awake long after his steady breathing filled the silence of the room around us, the taste of him still present on my tongue, realizing I had yet to look him in the eyes.

* * *

Monday morning passed by much like it always did. Edward's alarm went go off at five o'clock. I made sure he was awake before I climbed sleepily out of bed and stumbled through the darkness of the hallway, down the steps, and into our kitchen to put on some coffee. Edward emerged dressed in his suit and tie, showered, and shaven twenty minutes later while I already had his lunch packed and waiting for him in our stainless steel refrigerator. He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me over to him, kissing me a few times, before letting me escape to make him a bagel for breakfast. By six, he headed out the door with a thermos of coffee and his briefcase in hand, kissing me goodbye, and then waving at me as I stood at the front door to see him off. He pulled out of our attached one-car garage, blew me a kiss and then pulled down the driveway and left, leaving me alone to do with the day as I pleased.

Edward and Emmett had to work while Rose and I got to play. At least that's what Emmett always said, but Edward would never dream of putting it that way. He wanted me to stay home, convinced me to quit my job, claiming he made more than enough money for the both of us. We could afford our brand new townhouse in the upscale neighborhood on the outskirts of Washington D.C., his Mercedes and my Range Rover wouldn't even put a dent in his impressive salary. Needless to say, I quit my job, stopped going to my art classes, and learned how to be a professional stay-at-home girlfriend. Sometimes I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I longed for my old life, working long hours at the museum, attending classes with some people closer to my own age, and having a separate identity outside of my relationship with Edward. It consumed my entire life, all of my friends, with the exception of Angela, were his friends, and all of them were closer to their thirties while I was only twenty-three.

I met Edward when I was nineteen and he swept me off my feet because he was tall, charming, and twenty-four, more mature and already graduated from college. He was intelligent, speaking of the world and politics, while my guy friends from art school only knew how to discuss the pros and cons of _Yuengling_ over _Coors Light_, or whether or not Kim Kardashian was going to make another sex tape. Edward was beautiful and alluring; he made me feel special and lucky that he had ever showed any interest in me at all. I still felt that way, at times, when I would look at him from across a room, or when I watched him while he peacefully slept, asking myself over and over again, _why me? Why did he choose to be with me?_ He could have easily gotten any girl he wanted, but somehow, someway--he was mine. He belonged to me.

_And I was supposed to belong to him, too._

_

* * *

  
_

Around noon, I sat outside _his_ small apartment, noticing there was not one, but two, old beaten down cars parked in front. I tried to forget the last time I was here, tried not to notice that everything about the old, red-sided house with the white shutters would forever be ingrained in my mind. I took in a deep breath as I attempted to pull myself together and think of the perfect words to say.

_Hey, Jacob, I'm just here for my ring, you know the one you stole while we were getting it on in a handicap bathroom._

No. That wouldn't do.

_Hey, Jacob, remember me? Yeah, that's right, Bella Swan._

God, of course he'd remember who I was. I was such a moron.

_Jake, hey. Hi there. Yeah, um, so I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by and see if you still had…_

No.

No.

No.

I slammed my head down in my arms, resting them on my steering wheel while expelling a harsh breath of air. How did I get myself into this mess? What in the hell was I supposed to say to him and what if he wouldn't let me leave? Worse yet, what if he tried to make another pass at me? _Oh, God, why was I enjoying that thought?_

Before I could let my thoughts continue down their destructive path, I climbed out of my SUV, hitting the electronic lock button on my keypad, and wobbly walked across the quiet street toward the front door of the one place I swore I'd never see again. I instinctively glanced to my left and right, making sure no one was around to notice me, not that anyone would recognize me anyway. I was miles away from my neighborhood, the dirty sidewalks, the lack of perfectly groomed shrubbery in the front yards, and the outdated siding on most of the houses provided evidence to that. Slowly, I lifted my trembling fist to the plastic paneling and knocked lightly, ceasing my brain from thinking of all thoughts entirely.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

In.

Out.

Just breathe.

I was shocked to silence when a tall, but stunningly beautiful woman answered the door, her skin and her hair reflecting the same deep and alluring hues as Jacob's, her eyes dark and full of depth, her lips full and perfectly symmetrical. I couldn't stop my eyes from raking over her intimidating frame, taking in her tight Yoga pants, my stare lingering on the curve of her hips. I couldn't help but notice that she seemed at ease, as though this was where she belonged, possibly where she even resided.

_Her territory. _

Ifelt my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach, my mouth grew dry, and my throat constricted around my vocal cords. _Was she…?_

"Um, hello?" she asked, her voice slightly raspy but soothing, as she pushed her long, black hair over the skin of her shoulder that her tank top revealed.

"I uh..didn't know…had a girlfriend." I heard my voice mumble incoherent babbling, though I had little control over my speech. _Jacob had a girlfriend and he didn't tell me. The betrayal hit me harder than I thought possible. A knife to the back would have been less painful._

"Excuse me?" she asked in confusion, taking a step closer to me, while pulling the door halfway closed behind her. I focused on the way her eyebrows furrowed, somehow reminding me of Jacob, along with the way her eyes were set deep and her face contorted in her perplexity.

I cleared my throat in an attempt to speak again. "I'm sorry," I nearly whispered. "I didn't know…I mean, I can come—"

"Leah, who is it?"

The sound of his voice interrupted my speech and my heart skipped a beat. Suddenly, I had the primal urge to run away, run as fast as I could, to flee and escape from that one voice that had affected me in more ways than it ever should. However, I was frozen, unable to neither move nor blink, as I watched the door open wider in horror. Jacob appeared before me in nothing but a pair of low-rise jeans. My eyes fixated on the way his boxer-briefs peeked out over the top of the denim, my mouth watering and my face instantly heating. I wouldn't be lying if I confessed I forgot how to breathe.

"Bella?" I heard him ask.

My eyes met his and I was lost. Everything I had planned to say, everything I had tried to convince myself left me entirely, only to be replaced with my burning need and desire for him.

He looked almost…_happy_ for a moment, before his gaze flickered between the woman named Leah and I. He studied me more closely, as if I were the most complicated logarithm he had ever encountered and his algebra teacher just asked him to solve me. _Solve me, Jacob. Please._

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to interrupt," I managed to choke, and suddenly I was angry, pissed off that he would keep something like her from me when I so obviously didn't hide _anything_ from him.

"Oh no, honey," I heard Leah say, but I wasn't looking at her, Jacob's gaze wouldn't allow me to escape its hold. "I was just leaving."

I felt my fists clench at my sides as she unwelcomingly appeared into my field of vision, leaning in and pressing her lips to the rough skin of his cheek. _Mine,_ was the only thought I possessed.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said, and it took everything I had not to claw her eyes out with my freshly coated finger nails.

"Yeah, see ya," Jacob said, half-smiling in the direction of her retreating form. I still had yet to take my eyes off him, too scared that if I moved an inch I might dart after her and attempt to run her over with my Range Rover.

I knew I was being ridiculous, that I had no claim over him, but I couldn't help the overwhelming feelings of jealousy and deceit that overcame me and clouded all of my rational judgment.

"How could you?" I spat, the only question I knew how to ask; the only one I wanted the answer to.

"Bella, what are you--"

"Don't you dare act like you don't know why I'm upset," I shouted, my anger uncharacteristically getting the best of me as I reached out and shoved my hands into his chest, watching him fall back a few steps, further into his doorway. "What'd you do? Fuck her as soon as you got home last night? Fuck her again this morning, too, for good measure? And why not, right? Why the fuck not, you asshole!!"

"Jesus Christ," he cursed and I didn't need to be invited inside, I entered on my own accord, my hands coming in contact and shoving him once again. That time, however, I felt him roughly grab my wrists, pushing me up against the wall while wrestling with me, and kicking the front door closed.

"What the fuck?" he asked, his voice picking up in its volume. "Would you calm down?"

I wiggled against him, trying to push him away from me as his arms held my hands against the wall, trapping me beneath him. "I will _not_ calm down," I yelled, though not as loud as before, his proximity was affecting me, making my knees go weak and my breathing to quicken. "When were you going to tell me you had a girlfriend? Huh? When, Jacob?"

He pressed himself completely against me, his eyes narrowing, his features transforming him into someone more fierce and demanding. I could feel the heat of his breath on my skin and I hated myself for liking it. "Let me ask you this," he said, his lips only inches from mine. "Did you fuck him last night?"

"What?" I asked weakly, unable to bring myself to believe that he just asked me such a personal question.

"_Edward_," he said, his voice deep and threatening. "Did you fuck him?"

"That's none of your business," I retorted, my eyes automatically lowering to his lips.

"Well then," he said, as he leaned in and roughly kissed along my jaw. "The day you think it starts becoming my business, is the day I'll stop fucking whoever the hell I please."

I was speechless, the absurdity and two-sidedness of my accusations swirled in the air and came crashing down on me all at once, nearly suffocating me. I was being completely unfair. I didn't want Jacob to be with anyone else, but yet I expected him to understand that I was engaged to marry another man. I expected him to just accept that and move on.

Both of us were breathing heavy, caught up in the intensity of our altercation, and the only thing I knew how to do was turn my head so that my mouth connected with his.

"I'm sorry," I whispered against his lips, feeling my body submit to him as I let the person I didn't even recognize as myself anymore consume me completely.

He kissed me forcefully, his hands gripping my hips and thrusting me harder against him, pressing my back more firmly against the wall. His fingers were in my hair a second later, my body arching and grinding against his outside of my control. He kissed a heated path along my jaw until his nose was nuzzled in my hair and his breath was blowing against my ear.

"She's my sister," he whispered just before I felt him pull back from me, turning away and walking down the hallway toward his bedroom, already unbuttoning his pants.

My eyes widened in response to the brunt of his words. _Leah was his sister._ Relief swept over me, taking place of the shame I felt a moment ago, as I managed to bring my legs to follow him in his path. When I stepped inside his room, his back was facing me as he fumbled around in the pocket of a pair of his jeans, the same jeans I had pulled off of him the day before.

"Jacob…," I tried to speak, but couldn't find the words to say. "I'm sorry, I didn't know. I thought she--"

"I know what you thought," he said, pulling my ring out of the pocket and walking over to me, offering it over to me with an outstretched hand. "You came here for this, right?"

I stared at the large diamond as it sparkled in the palm of his hand, the same object that should fill me with hopes and dreams, but the only thing it was making me feel in that moment was sick.

"I didn't do it," I suddenly said to him, my eyes lifting up from the ring to lock on his, not making any attempt to reach for it just yet.

"Do what?" he asked, his voice laced with confusion.

"I didn't…fuck him…_,"_ I said, wincing at the vulgarity and realizing that I desperately needed him to know that, even though all rational thought was asking me _why_. "He wanted to, but I just…I _couldn't_…not after you and I… I mean, you asked, so there you have it. There's your answer."

He stared at me for a moment, the silence between us making me feel slightly uncomfortable beneath his scrutinizing gaze. Without speaking a word, he stepped forward, grabbing my left hand and slipping the ring onto my fourth finger. His hand held mine for a beat longer than necessary before he released me and backed away.

"You should go," he said calmly, though I could tell it was forced.

I was confused. I glanced down at my ring and then back at him, trying to suppress the overwhelming sense that he was trying to tell me goodbye. _Forever_.

"What are you…no," I said, shaking my head back and forth. "No I shouldn't." A small voice in the back of my head was saying, _Yes, yes you should_. But it didn't matter. That voice was too weak, lost in the collage of my yearning for the man that stood half naked in front of me.

"Bella-"

"Please don't," I said, my voice slightly breaking. I took a deep and shaky breath before continuing. "So, it's just that easy for you then? Slide the ring on my finger and tell me I should go? Well fine, if… if that's how you want it...," I mumbled, feeling the defeat build up inside of me, threatening to crush me completely. I didn't even realize tears were falling down my cheeks until I tasted the salt on my lips.

"What?," he asked, his eyes softening as he crossed the distance between us and brought his hands to my face, gently wiping the moisture away. "No, that's not what...I mean, I didn't mean it. I don't want you to go."

I collapsed into his embrace, nuzzling my face into his chest as his arms circled around me and pulled me closer. He held me for a while, my tears eventually drying and my sobs dying off. I felt his nose gliding in my hair, moving to my cheek, along my jaw. My eyes were closed but my lips were seeking out his. Our mouths came together, our tongues colliding and dancing in a slow but sensual rhythm of passion. My hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him to me and clinging to the one thing I knew I could no longer go without.

"I never want you to go," he murmured, just before he laid me down on his bed and I succumbed to him—_to us_—completely.

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**A/N: Fall For You and Seventh Inning were both up for Wolfpack awards, head over and vote for your favs:**

**http://wolfpackawards[DOT]webs[DOT]com/vote[DOT]htm**


	3. Addiction

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

_Hi. So, I'm back. Kind of. Sort of. Actually I was never really gone in the first place, but uh, here goes my excuses…_

_I'm sorry I fail at updating basically all of my stories, but I won't leave them hanging. I can promise you that much. My life is just completely crazy and now that I am beta'ing over at Twilighted and running a blog with a couple of crazy hoors things can get a little out of control, kwim?_

_So this is a short chapter and really I should be working on my Thesis instead of writing it, but whatever. Jacob and Bella had a few things to say and OMG New Moon was awesome!_

_

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_

**Seventh Inning Stretch**

**Chapter 3: Addiction**

_I was addicted._

A part of me belonged to Jacob now.

A part that was never actually free to give.

We were both silent. The only sound to be heard was Jacob's steady and rhythmic panting in my hair, fingers running idly through the tangles as I tried to regroup myself after the earth-shattering pleasure I just experienced. Jacob made my body feel things I never experienced before; evoking a passion inside of me I didn't know existed. For that very reason, I knew he was dangerous, that what we were doing was dangerous. I knew that even though my entire future with Edward was on the line, it wouldn't matter anymore. It _couldn't_ matter anymore. I came here today to get my future back, but somehow ended up changing the way I saw it entirely.

I felt his lips connect with the top of my head, his hands gently gliding up the sides of my naked body, causing me to tremble. He gripped my upper arms softly and pulled me closer until I was propped up, my elbows resting on his chest, my chin held up with my hands. I didn't want to face him yet, unsure of exactly what to say. I was careful to look at everything else in the room but him, but I could feel a pair of eyes burning into me, begging me to look in their direction.

"Bella," his voice spoke softly, swirling in the heated air around me as his hand touched the side of my cheek. "Look at me."

My eyes met his. They were dark brown and full questions, and I was lost.

"What are we doing?" he asked a second later, his thumb tracing along my bottom lip and pulling it free from beneath my teeth. My eyes automatically diverted down to his mouth as I unconsciously licked my own and tried to collect my thoughts.

What _were_ we doing? I didn't have an answer to that, or maybe I did, but I didn't want to admit it. Were we in a relationship? Having an affair? I knew that whatever it was, he meant more to me than just the physical benefits. I found myself wanting to know everything about him—his reasons for smiling, his reasons for breathing, his reasons for _living_.

_But why?_

"I don't know," I nearly whispered, my voice quivering as I expelled a tattered breath of air. His eyes searched mine as he brushed some of my hair off my forehead. My traitorous heart was leaping out of my chest; my mind still conflicted even though the rest of my body already settled on what was wanted most.

"Well then," he said quietly, his hands sliding off my face, gliding effortlessly down to my shoulders, my arms, crawling under the covers until I felt his fingertips tracing up and down my lower back. I shivered against the heat of his touch, and he smiled genuinely in response to the effect he had over me. "Let me tell you what _I _know…"

I held my breath as his rough fingers glided down my back again, reaching lower until his hand rested on my bare ass. "I know that I love the way you feel," he nearly whispered, his eyes holding my gaze, his hand daring to dip lower.

"Jacob--" I started to protest, but his lips connected with mine and swallowed my words.

He kissed me slowly at first, the calm before the storm as my mind started to drift away. It wasn't long before I was wrapped up in him, his kisses turning hungrier, taking my breath away and forcing me to forget all that I should remember.

A heard a familiar song playing in the distance…

_I'm falling even more in love with you…_

In the corner of my mind I knew that I should stop, but I couldn't. The song meant that I _needed_ to stop, but I wouldn't.

_Letting go of all I've held onto to_

_ I'm standing here until you make me move_

_ Hanging by…_

Jacob's mouth left mine and my brain instantly caught up with the race of my actions.

It was my ringtone. _Edward's ringtone_.

I fumbled around, rolling out from under Jacob's embrace to reach toward my purse's new location on the floor. Jacob was bigger and faster than me and he swept it up, pulling the ringing phone out of the open pocket.

"It's Edward," he mumbled as he read the screen.

"I know who it is," I said, reaching for the device, but he lifted it up and out of my reach. "Give it to me, I have to answer it."

"Oh, I'll give it to you alright," he said with a smirk, and I watched in horror as he cleared his throat and pressed the talk button, slowly lifting the phone to his ear.

"What are you...please don't!" I whispered in a panic, climbing up his body to fight him for all that was left of my future.

He paused before sighing and handing me the phone, gently pushing me off of him and climbing out of the bed. I mouthed a "sorry" to him as I heard Edward's voice repeatedly saying "hello" in the receiver. Jacob simply shrugged, pulled on a pair of jeans, and then left the room while shaking his head in amusement, but I thought I could make out an irritated look in his eyes. I watched his retreating form for a moment before I snapped out of my reverie and realized that Edward was waiting.

"Edward, hey," I said into the phone, breathless and a little more flustered than what would be considered normal.

"Bella? What's going on?" he asked, and I felt my stomach drop because he was completely clueless to the fact that I was talking to him while in another man's bed.

"I uh…what do you mean? Everything's fine…good…everything's good and fine," I replied in disconcerted rambles as I climbed out of bed and started to gather my scattered clothes.

"You're not at home?" he asked, and it wasn't an interrogation, rather it was a simple question that every fiancé had the right to ask when his significant other didn't answer the phone at home. However, in my current state of upheaval, I took it as a threat.

"No, I'm not," I suddenly spat, harshly and defensively. "Am I not allowed to leave the house when you're not around?" The moment the cold words left my lips, I closed my eyes and held my breath, realizing I was being unfair and unreasonable.

"That's not what I meant. Of course you can leave the house, Bella, what has gotten into you?" he questioned. I expelled an extended sigh and pulled on my shirt, sitting down on the edge of Jacob's bed and dropping my face in my free hand.

"I'm sorry," I said, slightly muffled into the receiver. "I'm so sorry."

"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice full of love and concern and I didn't deserve it. I would never deserve it. "What's wrong, babe?"

"I'm fine, really," I lied, threading my legs in my jeans and standing up to pull them on as my mind raced to come up with an excuse for my behavior. "I just went out to grab some groceries for dinner tonight, they were out of pretty much everything I needed so I got a little mad, shouldn't have taken it out on you, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he said, always so understanding, and of course I knew that wouldn't be the case if he knew my true motives. Instant guilt was flooding into my system, taking residence in my throat and threatening to suffocate me completely. "Don't worry about dinner tonight, we can order out. Speaking of which, that's why I was calling. I'm getting out of here an hour early so I should be home around five."

"Oh, five? Okay yeah, that's great," I said, glancing over at Jacob's digital clock, the angry red numbers letting me know it was already after two.

"Okay then, grouchy, you just need to step away from the grocery store and relax. I'll see you in a few hours," he replied, and I could tell by the tone of his voice he was smiling in amusement.

"Yeah, I'll do that," I replied through a breathy sigh. "See you soon."

I ended the call, letting the phone drop onto the bed while lowering my face into my hands in defeat. I needed to pull myself together, to put an end to my constant lies and betrayals. What was I still doing here anyway…in Jacob's bed…in Jacob's house…on Jacob's street? What did I expect to get out of this absurd… relationship…affair…whatever it was that we were having, and why couldn't I manage to say no to him? It was just a small and simple two-letter word, but somehow it seemed impossible, unrealistic, and unreachable. It seemed as though I didn't have a choice anymore, as though my body overtook my brain and I could no longer control it.

After a few minutes of regrouping and reflecting, I managed to pull myself up off the bed to follow the distant sounds of clanking and clamoring that seemed to be coming from the kitchen. I walked down the short and narrow hallway, turning the last corner, and resting myself against the doorway as I watched a shirtless Jacob cooking something on an old, rusty stove. His back was to me, but I knew that he knew I was there.

"Hungry?" he asked, not bothering to turn around and acknowledge my presence.

"No, thanks," I replied, taking a few awkward steps into the unfamiliar kitchen and resting my hands on top of the small table, leaning into them as they held up some of my weight. It creaked beneath me, giving way to the fact that it was old. My eyes scanned over the unmatched furniture, the white, chipped painted walls, and the yellowish refrigerator that looked as though it were nearly impossible for it to still be running properly. As I took in my surroundings, I breathed in the scents of melted cheese and butter.

"Grilled cheese? I asked, lightly.

"Yeah, my specialty," he replied, flipping the sandwich out of the pan and onto a Styrofoam plate, before turning around to flash me his infectious and completely irresistible grin. He extended the plate in my direction. "Are you sure you want to miss out on this? I make the best toasties the world has to offer."

I smiled in response to his enthusiasm. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll manage without one."

He shrugged and then plopped down in one of only two chairs at the table. "Okay, suit yourself."

I stood in silence and watched him take a bite out of his masterpiece. He glanced up at me through his chewing and motioned for me to have a seat. "You don't have to just stand there all awkward and uncomfortable, you know."

"Thanks, Jake, but I really should--"

"Be leaving?" he asked, interrupting me and finishing my statement. "Yeah, sure, you got what you came here for, right? Why stay any longer than necessary?"

I could hear the sarcasm in his tone and I sighed loudly, running my hand through my hair. "No, it's not that. I just--"

"No, it's fine," he said, interrupting me again. "I get it, okay? You don't know what you want. You don't know why you're here. You love your tool of a fiancé and yadda, yadda, yadda."

"Edward is not a tool!" I said, defensively.

He raised his eyebrows at me and took another bite of his sandwich.

"What? He's not!" I nearly shouted. "You don't even know him, so how can you make that assumption?"

"Oh, don't I? So he doesn't keep you cooped up in your house all day like your some kind of maid?" he asked, condescendingly.

"No," I said defiantly, crossing my arms in front of my chest. I had more to add, opening and closing my mouth several times, but I couldn't seem to find the words.

"Hmm, that's what I thought," he said in between chewing and swallowing another bite.

"Just stop it, okay? Quit acting like you have any kind of insight into our relationship, because you don't. You don't know anything," I huffed, waving my hands dramatically in the air as my eyes narrowed and scanned over his arrogant demeanor.

"He makes me very happy!" I added, after he didn't respond right away.

He blinked and stared back at me for a moment, putting down his sandwich and contemplating my words. The kitchen clock ticked for a few seconds of silence before I watched in shock as he slowly stood up from the table and began stalking around the table, in my direction. His steps were slow and steady, his eyes black and burning.

"Then answer me this," he said fiercely, taking another step closer, my heart skipping a beat, my face automatically flushing as my palms began to sweat and my mouth started to water. "If he makes you so happy, then what exactly are you still doing here?"

He stopped mere inches from me, his question echoing in the air around me as his hands reached out and rested on top of mine on the table. The heat of his touch instantly burned through my skin, his hot breath blowing through my hair as he hovered above me. I swallowed thickly and diverted my eyes to the floor, unable to find a correct response to his inquisition.

I didn't have the correct response because Edward _did_ make me happy, and _yet_ there I stood…and why was that exactly?

The voice in the back of my head was screaming at me, but it was weak, meaningless, nothing compared to the burning desire coming from the touch of the man that was still a mystery to me. I didn't see my future in his eyes and I didn't feel comfort in his embrace, but yet I couldn't say no to him. I closed my eyes when I felt him lean closer, his lips sweeping against my neck as my head reflexively tilted to allow him access. I wanted to give into him, to give it all up for him. I wanted to forget about Edward, to forget about take out, weddings, and five 'o'clock.

"I have to go," I said instead, because it was the right thing to do, and because we both knew I'd be back, and we both knew that he'd be here waiting for me. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or a week from now, but I couldn't stay away forever. I wouldn't stay away forever, even though I should.

"Yeah that's probably for the best," he whispered against my skin, his nose tickling the cells of my neck.

* * *

_**Author's Long-Assed Note**__: So that's it. I know it wasn't really worth the LONG wait, but I figured it was better than absolutely nothing. I have big plans for this story and am looking forward to finding some time to write it all out._

_I need to thank __**bloodofbeckie ,my hubby is no edward, btvsna, crystalnicoleyo, ysar, mwilkinson84, **_**and**_** mombailey**__ for their constant support and encouragement. Extra thanks to my **Bex **for reading the chapter closely and giving me her input.  
_

_BTW, if you haven't yet read "What's Lust Got to do With it?" by __**my hubby is no edward **__then you're insane and I don't want to talk to you._

_All of the mentioned above are such talented authors, so seriously you can't complain about not having any good shit to read, because everything written by them is made of awesome._

_So, yeah…leave me some love and reviews?_

_And I need to go to bed because 5am comes way too soon._


	4. Craving Casanova

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**Stephenie Meyer owns these characters and all things Twilight, I just make them do messed up things. **

**Thank you to **_**my hubby is no Edward**_** and **_**bloodofbeckie**_** for reading over the chapter and helping to fix my shit. **

**Love you, ladies.**

**

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**Seventh Inning Stretch**

**Chapter 4: Craving Casanova**

_He was everywhere._

_All around me, consuming me completely, and I was nothing unless I was everything to him._

_It was a battle of tug-a-war, where he twisted and I turned. Our bodies counteracted, yet coincided perfectly. A masterful piece of gleaming masses, droplets of sweat parading around our skin as our limbs connected harmoniously._

_My body arched, pushing him inside me further until I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed onto the bare flesh of his rippling back, pulling him closer to me, pleading for him to take me harder._

_He shifted and I gasped._

_There was hot breathing and molten lava, and my mind drifted off, forgetting about everything else, everything but the way he was making me feel._

"_Bella," he spoke, his voice the sweetest kind of sorrow, his scent so strong I could taste it._

_Jake. _

_God, Jake, that feels…that feels…_

"_Bella." This time his voice was farther away, fading off and becoming a mirage. I tried to grasp onto it, desperately begging him not to leave me. _

_Don't leave me._

_Jacob?_

"Bella." The voice transformed, ringing out an octave higher, shifting and changing into something distantly familiar.

I grimaced.

"Bella, wake the hell up!"

My body was forcefully rocking me back to reality. Jacob was being taken away, my body violently shaking.

"What?" I asked groggily, finally snapping out of my sleep, immediately shooting up and frantically looking around at my current position on my living room couch while trying to steady my erratic breathing.

Rosalie was standing over me, hands on her hips and eyes taut in disapproval.

"We're going to be late!"

"Late?" I asked, as I brought my hands to my eyes at an attempt to flush away my dreaming.

"Yeah, L-A-T-E., _late_! You fell asleep? Hello, do flowers ring a bell to you? Or maybe your wedding isn't that important to you after all…and to think…" she continued on with her rant but I wasn't much paying attention. I didn't even protest when she latched onto my arm and skillfully tugged me off the couch, my ass hitting the freshly polished hardwood floor with a loud thump.

"Um, ouch?" I murmured, stumbling to my feet and rubbing my now aching tailbone.

"And you left the door unlocked," she continued, ignoring me completely, as she swiftly turned her back to me and started prancing her way through my house in her three-inch stilettos. _Edward's house, _I thought, because it never really felt like mine.

I followed her reluctantly because I knew that's what she was expecting, and I also knew that I was, in fact, going to be late for my appointment with my florist. The thought finally entered my mind and I wanted to curse myself for wishing I was still asleep, living in a world where I could freely belong to Jacob Black.

"You're lucky I'm not planning on telling Edward that because he'd surely have a fit…and not to mention…"

I tuned her out again as I followed her up the stairs, down the hall, and into the bedroom I shared with the man I was marrying. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting expectantly for me to put on something more presentable, her mouth still moving with phrases that were going in one of my ears and out the other.

I sighed, unable to stop my mind from allowing Jacob's presence inside of me again, as I walked numbly into my walk-in closet and tried to pinpoint the exact reason I wasn't more excited for this meeting. _Shouldn't a bride-to-be be more than thrilled to be finally choosing her wedding flower arrangements?_

I lifted Edward's t-shirt off over my head, picturing Jacob's eyes as they had danced over my naked flesh and filled me with excitement just one day prior.

"Did you decide if you're going with the roses or the calla lilies yet?" Rose called into me, snapping me out of my inner fantasies.

"Um…er…no, I guess I haven't really thought about it since we last discussed," I confessed, realizing how incredibly true it was. _God, when was the last time I thought about anything other than Jacob?_

"Well, I personally think you should go with roses," she said through a slight giggle. "I'm named for them, after all."

"Oh, and by the way," she continued, when I didn't respond right away. "You owe me one for this, Miss Swan."

_Of course I did_, I thought through a smile. I always owed her something. I quickly grabbed the first black pencil skirt and blouse I could find, throwing them on, smoothing the skirt over my hips. I stepped out of the closet, buttoning up the last few buttons on my blouse and miraculously catching the brush Rosalie chucked in my direction. I ran the brush through my knotted waves, grabbed my purse, my shoes, and then shrugging, signifying that I was as ready as I'd ever be. Rose eyed up my appearance and then smiled.

"That was record-breaking timing," she said, laughing effortlessly and climbing to her feet to follow me out the door.

_

* * *

_

"How hard is it to just decide on a color and be done with it?" Rosalie asked me, as I idly played with an empty straw wrapper, tying it into a knot and ripping it apart.

"Obviously harder than one may think," I retorted, letting the ripped paper loose and darting my eyes across the small diner that sat conveniently across the street from my florists' shop.

We were in downtown D.C. and I watched out the front window as people busily walked past, always in a hurry to reach their intended destinations.

It took me a second too long to notice that Rose stopped talking as I carefully shifted my eyes to find that she was staring at me expectantly.

"What?" I asked.

"Okay, that's it. What's going on with you?" She was frowning, eyebrows cast down as she leaned closer to me, elbows resting on the table.

"What do you…I don't…?" I started to say, but my words got all caught together, my tongue felt thick with my lies and I couldn't help but to breathe a little heavier. "Nothing. Nothing's going on."

She arched her eyebrows and snorted, lifting her tanned arm to stir her ice tea. "You're a terrible liar."

_Shit_.

I sighed, and opened my mouth to speak, but my phone beeped obnoxiously loud and saved me from the inevitable.

I fumbled through my purse, using my stereognosis to grab onto the small device, my eyes reading over the screen but not fully processing the words.

**My thoughts are consumed of you.  
**

It took me a moment to realize who it was from and then another to react. I blinked. Stared for a minute. Read the words again. Blinked again. Swallowed thickly, felt my stomach heat and my body tingle.

"Quit sexting with Edward and answer my question."

"I'm not…I mean, I don't know who this is. Wrong number, I guess," I lied, unable to pull my eyes away from Jacob's message. I wanted to reply as my fingers danced around the keys, but I stopped myself. I knew I should just ignore him. Ignore the past. Ignore everything that had happened, everything that was still happening inside of me.

"What? Let me see, maybe I know who it is," she demanded as she leaned over the table and grabbed the phone out of my hand before I could react.

"Wait, Rose, give that back," I said, trying to keep my voice steady, failing miserably. I was leaning over the table, reaching and grabbing like a maniac, and I could only imagine how ridiculous and pathetic I looked.

I was too late; her eyes were dancing over Jacob's words, the words that were meant only for me. My heart sank, my pulse thrummed loudly inside of my head, and my cheeks flushed.

"My thoughts are consumed of you?" she asked out loud, looking up and me, unable to contain her laughter. "Is this guy serious? Maybe you have a secret admirer."

My nervous laughter seemed foreign to me as it echoed in the air around us. "Ha, yeah somehow I highly doubt that one, and how do you know it's a guy? Could be a girl, now can I have my phone back please?"

My efforts at nonchalance were unconvincing, but Rose seemed to be taking the bait. She just shrugged and turned her attention back down to the little device in her hands.

"Hold on, Swanee, I want to have a little fun with this," she replied, taking a quick sip of her ice tea, before lifting my phone up and working her fingers over the key pad.

"Um, what are you doing?" I practically gulped.

"Hey, baby," she said out loud as her fingers moved with her words. "Can't wait to see you tonight. Want me to wear the black lace again?"

"Rose!" I yelled, capturing the attention of several patrons seated around us in my outburst. "Don't you dare send that!"

"Too late," she said, grinning and finally handing my phone back. "Now let's wait and see what Casanova has to say to that."

"I have to use the bathroom," I said suddenly, standing up from my chair and escaping her company before she had time to stop me.

The moment the stall door closed and locked behind me, I glanced down to find that I had another message waiting for me.

**Black lace again? I'd like to see them a first time. Not that they won't be coming off anyway.**

I bit my bottom lip and sank back against the wall, trying to push away memories of bodies colliding, my back pressing up against the cold door of a different bathroom, the sound of Jacob's low and steady grunts as he consumed me completely. _Oh God, I can't do this._

**Where are you? **I hit send and waited, my breathing coming in irregular spurts. _Was I seriously considering going to him?_

**Work. Where are **_**you**_**?**

Work? My heart sank for a minute before I realized I didn't know he had a job…I mean, I just assumed he didn't…

My mind tried to picture different scenarios of where he could possibly be employed. A busboy at a restaurant? A landscaper for a local company? A carpenter for a flooring business? _ God, how little I knew about this man who affected me so much._

**It's not important. Where do you work?**

I waited.

_And waited. _

Ten minutes could have past when I heard the bathroom door fling open, heels clicking against the hardwood floor.

"Bella?" Rose's voice called and echoed off the tiled walls.

Just then my phone beeped and came to life.

**I get off at 5. Come over and I'll tell you all about it.**

Get off…

"In here," I managed to say to Rose. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Is that Casanova I hear?"

"No," I said a little too quickly. "It's Ang; I think you scared him off."

**Can't. Edward=home at 6. Gotta go. Later.**

With that, I exited the bathroom to find Rose grinning at me widely, an all-knowing gleam in her eyes.

"You could have just told me you had to take a massive shit," she said, "then I would have been expecting to wait fifteen minutes."

I rolled my eyes and went to the sink to wash my hands.

"Only you, Rose, only you."

_

* * *

_

They were small and green. Soft. Round. Some of the edges crumpled and rippled like I imagined the moon to be. They smashed easily. And, what was inside exactly? What made up the mush in the center? I have always wondered, and as I sat there and examined them more closely I couldn't help but to explore more thoroughly.

I put one in my mouth and closed my eyes as I concentrated on tasting every last particle.

Smooth, soft, twirling around my tongue, smashing it to the roof of my mouth.

Salty, a tad sweet. The outside was somewhat chewy, the middle melted in my mouth.

"Bella?"

I opened my eyes to find Edward studying me closely, his lips twitching as he fought a smile.

"Huh?" I replied dumbly.

"Is there something wrong with your peas?"

"What? No…no, of course not." My fork seemingly slipped from my grasp and fell to my plate accompanied by an obnoxious clank. Clearly, I wasn't convincing anyone.

He raised his eyebrows at me and chuckled softly, his eyes wrinkling at the edges and his tongue sweeping across his bottom lip. It was a simple gesture that used to heat my stomach and jolt my things, but now I felt nothing. "You sure were studying them pretty closely."

"Well I uh…they're just… I don't know. I'm done eating."

I pushed out my chair and stood to my feet, taking my plate to the sink, the awkward and uncharacteristic silence of our situation echoing my movements in justifiable taunting. I turned on the faucet and subjected the plate to the streaming water, watching as all the food washed away and banished down into the darkness of the drain.

I lost track of how long I stood there, watching the water stream over the white of the plate, when I was brought out of my trance by two strong arms wrapping around me from behind.

"You okay?" Edward whispered in my ear, gently kissing the lobe before reaching up from behind me to where my hand still rested on top of the faucet. He gently pushed down until the water stopped running.

"I'm fine," I lied, turning around in his arms and smiling at him weakly. I twisted out of his embrace, unable to look him in the eyes, and briskly walked out of the kitchen.

My footsteps were heavy as I ascended the stair, unsure of my intended destination. I ended up in the bathroom, turning on the shower, slowly and methodically stripping away the remnants from the day.

I needed to snap out of it. I needed to do something, rather than doing nothing, ignoring my fiancé who was most likely sitting downstairs wondering what the hell had just happened.

The water felt excruciatingly hot over my bare flesh, but I welcomed it as I tried to convince my mind to think of anything…_everything_ but him. He was the one thing I shouldn't need, but yet the only thing I seemed to want and none of it made sense.

I closed my eyes and saw his face. I shook my head and felt his touch.

After a few minutes of trying to forget him, the rhythmic pattern of the water hitting the shower floor was interrupted by a soft knock at the door.

"Bella, your phone's ringing." Edward's voice startled me as he called in through the door.

"I'll call them back when I'm done," I replied, closing my eyes again and resting my head against the cold tile of the shower wall as I listened to the continuous ringing of my phone just outside the door.

"This is the third time they called. It must be important," Edward said, his voice muffled by our barrier.

"Fine, answer it," I said eventually, letting out a long sigh.

It took me a second too long to realize my detrimental mistake.

It wasn't until I heard the halt of the ringing, Edward's soft voice asking "hello" into the receiver, that I practically shouted for him to wait.

Stop.

_Don't answer it._

I was out of the shower, towel wrapped around my dripping body, and falling through the bathroom door faster than imaginable. I nearly tripped over my own feet in my trepidation as I looked on in horror while Edward spoke slowly and clearly into the receiver. Time seemed to stop, everything slowing down around me as I watched my life and everything I've been working toward for the past few years, possibly fall apart in a matter of seconds.

"Edward…" I started, my voice trailing off, breathless and panicked. My heart clenched and head spun.

"May I ask whose calling?" he asked into the receiver, a deafening silence following his steady words.

"He says it's an old friend," he replied to me as he handed me the phone, raising his eyebrows and watching me in curiosity. He was leaning against the wall, arms crossed and a tentative smile spread across his lips.

I cautiously took the phone, swallowing thickly and turning my back to Edward's speculative stare.

"This is Bella," I said, already knowing who was on the other line, unable to mask the shakiness in my voice

"Bella?" His voice was low and husky. "He answers your phone for you, too?"

I glanced back over my shoulder to find that Edward was slowly walking away toward our bedroom, giving me some privacy.

"No," I said as calmly as I could. "I was…busy…and I…I couldn't make it in time."

There was a long pause. I listened closely as I heard his heavy breathing dance across the device that provided my only connection to him. I wanted to reach through it, cross the distance between us and touch him again, be with him again, feel him inside of me again Then, I realized how my words must have sounded, making his reasoning for his delay evident.

"Busy with what?" he eventually asked, his voice soft and distant.

"Not what you think," I said quickly, the words flooding out of my mouth without conscious thought. "I wouldn't…I mean…I couldn't do that…right now."

"I miss you," he said suddenly, fiercely.

"I…" I started to say, turning around to make sure I was alone and lowering my voice to a soft whisper. "I can't do this. You shouldn't call me."

"Meet me tonight," he demanded. It wasn't a question.

I closed my eyes against his words, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to break through. They were tears of misery, of shame. They were tears of guilt for my desperation and want to give into his commands of seduction. I opened my eyes, looking down the narrow hallway, seeing the dim light flowing out of the one room where the door stood slightly ajar. Edward was waiting for me, expecting me to be true to him, to be true to us as I lay by his side tonight and once again turned away from his heated caresses. How long could I keep from being intimate with him? When would it ever feel right to be with him again? When would the guilt stop eating away at every last part of me?

"I can't..." I repeated, hearing my voice break in response to the truth behind my words. I wanted to see him again with every last part of my soul, but I knew that I couldn't, that I shouldn't. Not again. Not anymore.

"You can and you will," he replied. "I _need_ you to. Please…meet me tonight. _Midnight_. My house."

"Goodbye, Jacob. Don't call again…_please."_

With that I ended the call, staring blankly at the phone in my hand and wondering how I let it get this far. How did I let my life slip out of my control?

* * *

**A/N: Sorry, no lemon again. *Sigh* I know, I'm cruel. I promise there will be lots more hotness to come. Hang tight, be patient. I have to have a plot, lovies.**

**So will Bella meet Jacob? What do you think is going to happen?**

**Also, many of the TeamSOB ladies, including myself, have been nominated for Sort of Beautiful Awards. Head over to the community and vote for your favs…**

**Cole already won 3****rd**** place for Best Original Character so thank you all for that! Your support humbles me.**

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	5. Beautiful Destruction

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. **

**For some reason this chapter was completely exhausting to write. I hope it provides some happy faces.**

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**Seventh Inning Stretch**

**Chapter 5: Beautiful Destruction**

_I was standing at the desk, leaning against it with all of my weight as my eyes steadily watched the clock. The hands reached and grabbed, one crossing over another as they reminded me that I had exactly fifty-five minutes and thirteen seconds left of my shift that evening. I loved my days working at the Holocaust Museum, started volunteering during my freshman year of college, finally landing a paying position exactly one year later. It was everything I could have asked for, everything I dreamed of in a first job, everything and more. I loved the history, loved being around the people, loved being a part of a team. But most of all, I loved being worthwhile._

_Around four o'clock every evening, after the crowds dwindled down to the occasional spurt, I would pull out my art assignments that were due the following day. My stomach would growl ruthlessly, begging me for nourishment, begging me for anything that resembled food. I never had time for lunch, always hurrying from my Modern Art class to hike across D.C. in time to start my shift. Therefore, I would methodically reach into my old tote bag, leftover from high school, and pull out a pack of Cream Cheese and Chives crackers. I'd eat two and save the rest for later. However, later usually never came and the pack would find its way into the base of my trash can, only to be replaced by a fresh pack the following morning._

_Everything was normal, typical…a routine. _

_Everything was comfortable._

_I liked things that way. _

_I liked to know what to expect, liked to know how to respond, how to react._

_However, on that particular day, going about my typical routine with my head down, cracker being converted into a bolus soon to be swallowed, and hand moving rhythmically over my drawing paper, everything I knew about love, about my life, was about to change._

"_Somehow I doubt that's Holocaust material," he said, his voice dancing with amusement, a voice I would eventually count on for survival, a voice I would eventually learn not to live without._

_Slowly, I glanced up from my artwork, my eyes locking with pure green and wild mahogany._

_He was a vivid mosaic, a scenic depiction that had yet to be drawn._

_I felt my mouth drop, felt that I was distinctly gaping at him, but it was no use, my actions were out of my control, and I was so obviously head over heels for the mystery of the man in front of me._

"_It's um…yeah, sorry about that…" I coughed awkwardly and flung my notebook beneath the desk, standing up straight and fixing my uniform. "How can I help you?"_

_He smiled, and I swear to God the earth turned on its axis and the seas opened up for Moses and the disciples all over again. "Actually, I'm here to see you."_

_I knew who he was. I had seen him before, many times, in fact. He was a business man, a suit and tie kind of guy. I knew his type._

_He'd come to the museum several times a week. He'd meet up with another suited fellow; they'd exchange a few words in the lobby and then turn around to leave. Never once would they stop to look around. Never once would they notice any of the females appreciating them for their outer beauty. Never once would they look in my direction. _

_Edward, whose name I had yet to learn, was there to see __**me **__that day, and the thought of that took my breath away. I literally forgot how to speak, only remembering how to feel…and oh God, it felt good. _

_It felt good to flirt, the early stages of a relationship materializing, because after that day, after I had assisted Edward with ordering a group of tickets for his family…_

_Everything changed._

_He would stop in to see me, wouldn't just to meet up with his friend, the friend that I would later learn was actually Emmett, his brother-in-law. _

_He would look at only __**me**__, would walk across the room to only __**me**__, would flirt with only __**me**__, tell me that the only person he really cared about was __**me**__._

_I was on fire._

_I felt alive._

_I felt indestructible._

_I may have been young and naïve, and maybe it was true that I was getting swept up in the novelties of dating an older, more sophisticated man. Maybe all of that was accurate, but I also knew that what I felt for him was real. _

_Nothing could ever convince me that what I had with Edward was anything less than amazing._

_

* * *

  
_

Snapping out of my recollections, I focused on the fact that I was once again about to make a decision that would change the rest of my life.

I had that feeling…

The same one I had back on that day at the museum, the same one I had when Edward got down on one knee, but now it was the feeling that nothing in my life would ever be the same if I got up and walked out that door. But hasn't everything already changed? Wasn't everything already scarred, mocked, tattered, and torn? The first time I let another man learn the routes of my body, learn the breath of my voice and the smell of my skin, was that not the first time I chose the path of destruction?

_What a beautiful destruction._

I couldn't decide if this was _good_. A good way to feel, a good way to be.

Everything was so conflicted. I was so conflicted. Nothing was making sense and the clock was ticking, Edward's chest rising and falling in a rhythmic pattern around my whirling thoughts.

I watched him from my place, the one that was made just for me, next to _him_ in the bed that we shared. The clock told me it was already past midnight, reminding me that I was out of time, but that didn't seem to make a difference. Time seemed insignificant, almost petty, as I tried to reach the final decision, a decision that I should have realized was already made.

It was made the first time I opened my eyes to russet instead of cream.

It was made the first time I breathed his name and savored his skin.

It was made the first time I let him inside.

Edward shifted, bringing my thoughts back to present as his breathing grew quiet and his arms latched around my waist, pulling me closer.

_Even in his dreams he could feel me slipping away._

I was inches from his face now, my breathing ruffling the disorderly hair that fell over his restful eyes.

I wanted to feel something.

Instead, I felt nothing.

I loved him, but I felt nothing.

* * *

The familiarity of this particular moment didn't escape my notice.

I was once again sitting outside of Jacob's house, car long since quieted, as I yet again tried to convince myself to either go home where I belonged or to go knock on the one door I should have never entered in the first place.

The latter won out like it always would.

Five minutes later I was perched on the front step, staring at the paneling, anxiously waiting for an answer to my pitiful excuse for a knock.

I waited.

And waited.

My nerves escalated as I finally had the time take notice over my appearance, realizing the old sweatpants I mustered in my hurry to "sneak out" weren't exactly sexy and flattering. It was also in that moment, after recognizing I had forgotten my coat and was sporting an off-the-shoulder sweatshirt, that I violently shivered against the brisk cold of the Washington D.C. spring night air.

It was cold, and I was knocking, and waiting, and suddenly I didn't want to be here anymore. Perhaps it was a mistake, and I was making a fool out of myself, and he didn't really want me to come in the first place…

The door slowly swung open, revealing a shirtless Jacob, hair in disarray, eyes groggy and beauty bleeding.

I looked at him and I felt _everything_.

I didn't love him, but I felt _everything_.

"You're late," he said after looking me over, his voice low and husky with sleep.

I took a deep breath, pushing past him, stepping inside, wanting him to follow. Knowing he'd follow.

"I shouldn't be here."

The words escaped my lips without my permission, but it was the truth.

He closed the door on my doubts, on the cold, turning toward me, entering my personal space and clouding my mind.

"You shouldn't," he agreed, the wall feeling rough against my back as his body closed in on mine, trapping me between.

"Jacob, I…"

"Shh," he said, interrupting me, leisurely bringing his lips to mine. "Follow me; I have something to show you.

He pulled away from me then, starting to stalk off down the hall toward his bedroom. He stopped halfway though, turning around to gesture me forward.

I entered his bedroom, acutely aware of his movements directly behind me. His bed wasn't made, covers and blankets thrown all around the room with a few text books haphazardly scattered on the sheets. My eyes took note as he entered my field of vision, crossing the small room to pick up a photo album on his old computer desk. I stared at the book in his hand, trying to decipher why he wanted me to see it. My body was already on fire, so attuned to his presence and silently begging to have everything, to feel everything he had to give.

He edged onto his bed, pushing himself back to lean against the headboard, idly patting the space beside him. I complied with his request and crawled next to him, curling my legs underneath me while unsuccessfully trying to ignore the alluring aura of his scent. I couldn't help but to notice then, in the confines of his bedroom walls, that something was definitely changing, that something was going to be different between us. Jacob and I rarely just…_were_. Our usual activities were strictly sexual.

"So, you wanted to know where I worked…"

He was opening the photo album, his fingers tracing over a picture of an old, orange and black car. I studied the picture for a moment, slowly lifting my eyes to his face, watching him closely as he intently stared at the automobile in front of him. I chose to say nothing, for fear of saying anything stupid, and decided to let him continue with what it was that he wanted to share with me.

"This was my father's car," he said, slowly, steadily, a hint of sadness etched in his tone. "Sixty-seven Chevy Nova, SS."

I felt my heart drop. This was getting serious. He was getting serious, and suddenly I felt like I wanted to know everything about him while simultaneously wishing I could continue knowing nothing at all. Personal knowledge made this real. Personal knowledge made this a _relationship_.

"It was his pride and joy, meant everything to him. I helped him fix it up…took us four years because we didn't exactly have a lot of money," he continued, turning a page in the book to reveal the same vehicle, only this time is was barely recognizable, metal twisted and turned, smashed to oblivion. The front hood was curled up into the driver's seat, the passenger's seat completely caved in.

My quiet gasp seemingly echoed in the air around us.

"One foolish driver made a poor decision and took it all away, my mother's life just another notch on his belt of fuck ups."

He laughed without humor then, his mind seemingly miles away from me as his voice turned bitter with hatred and regret.

"I'm so…sorry," I said, feeling completely helpless, wishing I could come up with something more intelligent, words loaded with more substance and understanding. I was never good with death and dying.

"It's just…whatever, life sucks and then you die," he said, feigning indifference, glancing over at me for a second before turning another page in the album. I glanced down at a black car now, much shiner, looking almost brand new, but it was just a façade. The car was too classic to be new, the style instantly reminding me of the musical _Grease_.

"Anyway," he said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get all bitchy on you, but this is what I do now. I fix up cars, you know, in honor of my dad. He owned his own garage…before the accident. And now. Well now, he can't do much on his own. He's in a wheelchair."

He flipped another page to reveal an older, black car with the framing rusted out and the wheels practically falling off. "This was the car before I fixed it."

"Wow," I said, truly impressed. "It looks like a completely different car. I would have never guessed…"

"Yeah, I realize this form of employment isn't as fancy as what you're used to, you know, doesn't bring in the kind of money to afford Range Rover's or anything. But, I do it because I _love_ it."

"Jacob…" I said, my voice trailing off, unable to hide my hurt. I hated the way he thought of me, hated that he saw me as some money hungry, future trophy wife. Though, perhaps he was right…perhaps that was exactly what I was, what Edward wanted me to be. "I don't…I mean, money isn't everything."

He smiled ruefully, shaking his head back and forth and closing the photo album with a loud plop. "It's not, is it? That's odd, because you could have fooled me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, reaching across him, feeling my blood start to boil as I roughly grabbed the album out of his hands and tossed it aside so he would focus his attention on me. He sharply grabbed my wrists before I could back away, pulling me awkwardly onto his lap, his face just inches from my own.

"I think you're a coward," he spat, his voice like midnight.

I took in a sharp breath, shocked at the sudden urgency in his voice, the sudden acid reaping into his demeanor.

"Why did you come here tonight?" he asked when I couldn't find my voice to respond. And that wasn't even the worst of it. No, the worst was that even in his coldest state, a state where water would quickly freeze into small crystals of ice…I _wanted_ him.

When absolutely everything about our interactions were screaming at me to run away, that's the when I most wanted to stay.

"You know why," I said, my voice just above a whisper, and I couldn't help it, I couldn't stop my legs from shifting, turning on his lap so I was directly straddling him, pressing against every aspect of him that I needed the most.

"I want you to stay," he said suddenly, the ice in his voice melting as his hands slowly found their way around me, gliding decadently up the back of my sweatshirt.

He thrust his hips gently against me, the connection almost more than I could handle. I closed my eyes and dropped my forehead against his, his breath hot on my lips.

"Edward will be--"

Before I could finish, his lips joined with mine, stealing away my thoughts and my words. He kissed me roughly, though gently enough to make my body beg. My hands automatically fisted into the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling and tugging at him until our bodies collided.

Every time we met in the middle I couldn't help but marvel in the way our bodies fit together so perfectly, the way we meshed as though it was a part of our biological make-up to do so. My mind raced out of my control, every nerve ending firing, becoming extra sensitive to his touch.

His lips eventually found their way to my neck as I tried to catch the breaths I had long since lost.

"Don't make me feel guilty for wanting you," he breathed against my flesh, his hands already reaching beneath the waistband in the back of my pants.

"Do you think I should tell him?" I blurted, my hands gliding down the ripples of his back, pulling him closer as I arched into him.

His lips were gliding against the bare skin of my shoulder when I felt him tense in response to my words.

"Do you want to tell him?" he asked, his voice muffled against my clavicle.

"He'll leave me," I whispered, realizing how devastatingly true that was. I knew that even if I begged and pleaded, Edward wasn't the type of guy to easily forgive and forget. He loved with a passion that often took my breath away, and I knew his hatred could easily match it.

Jacob halted his actions, pulling slightly away so he could look me in the eyes. He lifted his hand up, tucking a strand of hair that had fallen into my eye behind my ear, his fingers lingering lightly against my cheek. "Then, he'd be an idiot. Giving up something like you without a fight would be…"

He trailed off, and I waited for him to finish, but his ending never came. I wondered what he meant, tried to wrap my mind around what he was saying. Was he saying he'd still want me if I were free to be only his? I often wondered about that, about him and us, wondered if he was the kind of guy to settle down with just one girl.

I never had the nerve to ask because deep down inside I already knew the answer. I already knew the answer, but hearing it out loud would make it real.

Jacob was right, I was coward.

"I don't want to talk about him anymore," I said, bringing my hands to each side of his face, pulling him closer until my mouth connected with his.

Words were nonexistent after that, our language spoken with our touch instead of our taste. Our kisses started off soft, a gentle dance of serenity and affection, but it wasn't long before we became an inferno, our passion taking over our senses completely.

Jacob's hands frantically worked on my pants, my underwear, touching me and grinding his covered self against me before either of us could take it anymore.

He was gasping while I was panting, our fingers colliding against the waist of his bed pants, awkwardly pulling them down until he was exposed.

It always happened so quickly, our movements consumed with lust and fervor.

I called out his name, all breathy and full of need as he lifted my hips, angling me over him, lowering me until he filled me completely.

I tilted my body to his, and the pushing and pulling that usually separated us eventually melted away, taking me to a place that I knew I could no longer live without. Our bodies continuously crashed together, joining forces in pursuit of the same ultimate goal, and it wasn't long before an overwhelming warmth began to wrap around me.

Long after my own release, I persisted to guide my body over his until his fervent gasps gave way to quiet whispers, my name rolling effortlessly off his tongue.

My eyes were closed, but I felt everything.

I didn't love him, but I felt everything

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks so much for being patient with me while it continuously takes me decades to update. I hope you enjoyed getting a little more insight into Jacob as a person rather than just the sexy pretty that he is. Will there be more lemons in this story? You betcha. Will they be as graphic as they were in chapter one? Probably not. I'm a big fan of lemons, truly they make me squee with joy, but writing them is completely different. I hope that won't lead you astray. I'm a firm believable in a good plot rather than just some sexin for the sake of it. I also don't want to continuously repeat myself over and over again. I mean we all know where the peen goes…I hope…*snickers*

Okay, I swear I can be mature…

Anyway, thank you to my wifey-lover, **my hubby is no edward**, for always reading over my shit and encouraging me to post. Without her, I'd be nothing.

Finally, if you feel like supporting some of your fav Jake authors, head over to vote in the Sort of Beautiful Awards.

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Much love,

Rhi

P.S. My goal is to post at least once a week from now on. Um, we'll see how that works out.


	6. Relieved

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.**

****I was SO close to having this done within one week. I'll try harder this week. **

**Can I just say that I have some of the BEST readers? **

**I really, truly appreciate all of your reviews, everyone who favorites and alerts this story, and basically anyone who takes the time to read anything I have to say. **

**I can never tell you enough how much it means to me. **

**I haven't been the best at responding to reviews lately, and honestly there isn't any excuse to justify. **

**Just please know that I read each and every one and they warm my heart and make me squee with joy.****

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**Seventh Inning Stretch**

**Chapter 6: Relieved**

I was warm.

_Comfortable_.

It was just the way I liked it to be.

But, something was off. Something wasn't right. Something was definitely very, _very_ wrong.

My eyes shot open with a flash just as the memories of the night rushed through my mind. Images of sweaty limbs and heated breaths reminded me that I had made a detrimental mistake. I sat up abruptly from my spot on Jacob's bed, my eyes darting around the room in a panic as they desperately sought out the familiar red numbers that would reveal my fate

_3:25 a.m._

My muscles instantaneously relaxed as the breath that I hadn't realized I was holding was released in an audible gasp of relief. I brought my hand to my heart as it painfully beat in overdrive in response to the immediate fear that had taken over my system.

I was stupid enough to have fallen asleep.

I was lucky enough to have woken up a mere half hour later.

After I was able to pull the lump out of my throat, I allowed myself to look to my right to find Jacob resting peacefully, eyes closed and vulnerable beauty. His right hand was draped delicately over his bare chest, resting almost pointedly over his heart, his hair lying softly in his eyes, as the dark hues of his lashes combined aesthetically with the russet nature of his skin.

I watched in awe as his chest rose and fell with every breath that he took, feeling my heart conflict between flutters and flops in response to the innocence this moment exuded of him.

The emotional magnitude I was experiencing took me completely off guard, nearly knocking the wind right out of my expanded lungs. I had to reach out and touch him, my hand aching and burning with the desire to feel his skin against my flesh. Tears began to sting my eyes as the realization began to manifest inside of my soul that there was more to this than just the physical benefits of our relationship.

This was becoming more than I can handle.

This was too much, _too little._

I wanted more of him.

_I wanted_ _all of him_.

With a thick and heavy sigh, I began to turn, swinging my legs to dangle over the edge of the bed.

I was stopped by a heated hand on my bare back, a sleepy voice mumbling, "Don't go."

My back contracted and tensed beneath his touch, my stomach instantly attacked with nausea as my guilt began to settle in.

_No one could ever make me feel this way, the way he made me feel…like my body would explode without his hands all over me._

"I fell asleep, it was an accident," I said, my voice hoarse with desperation.

"Bella." He spoke my name as though it was the only one he ever knew, and I felt the bed shift with his movements, felt his breath on the back of my neck as he crawled up and closed in on me. His hands were on my shoulders a second later and I was melting back into him, closing my eyes and giving in to the force that was stronger than my good intentions.

"Nothing has ever made more sense to me than this," he continued, his mouth assaulting my ear, the yearning in his voice sending jolts of electricity down my spine. "You should stay. Stay here…with me."

"You don't know what you're asking," I said barely above a whisper, pulling out of his embrace and standing to my feet as I began to gather my clothes. The room was dark but I could feel his eyes on me, his watchful stare burning through the distance between us.

"You don't know what you're doing to me," he countered.

I chose to ignore that statement, chose not to focus my energy on the implications behind it as I dressed as quickly as my clumsy movements would allow.

"I have to go, Ed--" I cut off, unable to speak his name in his presence. "He'll be waiting for me, wondering where I am."

I walked through the threshold of his safe harbor, deciding it was best not to look back at all that waited for me, all that was calling at me to return.

I found myself in Jacob's bathroom a few seconds later, splashing cold water from his old, drippy sink on my clammy face. I stood tall and looked myself in the small mirror, watching as the water collected on my forehead and ran in steady drops down my cheeks, my chin, my neck, dampening my sweatshirt.

I looked horrible, like a women stricken with worry and torment. I looked as remorseful as I felt. My confliction was apparent in the subtle creases of my forehead, the small worry lines sinking in and corrupting my brow.

I knew I'd be back, knew this wasn't over.

Any end to him and me—_to us_—was a notion I wished not to entertain.

I knew I'd be back, but I also knew I'd pretend I had the strength to stay away.

I almost believed my own lies, the lies that made it possible for me to sit at the same dinner table with Edward, the only way I could continue on living in my role as his doting fiancée, his future bride.

The sink continued to drip long after I turned off the faucet. I listened to the steady rhythm of its haunting dance as the droplets hit the ceramic surface.

Clearly, I was stalling.

I exited the bathroom, feeling inwardly worse than I did before I went in, but outwardly I was more presentable, making it all the more plausible to pass off my lies to Edward when I arrived home.

I wasn't surprised to see Jacob there, leaning against the wall of the hallway, waiting for me to pass. His arms were crossed, his muscles taut, nothing but boxers hanging low on his hips.

My air left me once again as I swallowed thickly and tried to remind myself of my reasons for leaving.

Slowly and steadily, I lowered my gaze to the floor; with one foot in front of the other I brushed past him, my shoulder connecting with his. My steps seemingly echoed in the silence of the hallway as I lifted my stare to focus on the approaching door in front of me. My hand reached out and gripped the doorknob.

I stopped, paused, wanting to turn around and tell Jacob all that I was feeling, ask him if he was feeling it too.

_Oh, God, couldn't he feel it too?_

I wanted him to run to me, shout out me, tell me to stay, beg me to belong to him and only him.

I almost jumped when I felt him behind me, his arm reaching around, resting his hand on mine as it gripped the handle.

His body pressed pointedly against mine, trapping me between him and the door as I felt his breath descend upon the back of my neck, making it impossible for my breathing to continue coming in steady spurts. I tilted my head to the side giving him the access I knew he craved.

His lips caressed my shoulder, my throat, gently nibbling along my jaw until they reached their intended destination.

"I'll see you soon," he said in my ear, low and husky.

I was on fire again, slowly burning alive.

I turned around to face him, wanting everything I couldn't have. Tears were forming in the corner of my eyes as I swallowed heavily again, trying to bury my desire.

"No," I managed to choke out, slowly shaking my head. "I can't keep doing this."

His eyes grew impossibly darker, as his hands reached out and gripped my hips, seductively sliding up my body to rest on the sides of my face.

"Dammit, Bella," he said, harsh and forceful. "Quit fighting the inevitable; you'll come tomorrow." His voice was confident, demanding. He wasn't asking, he was telling.

I nodded as the tears escaped my hold and slid down my cheeks. I knew he was right. I knew I couldn't stay away.

He gently wiped the moisture from my cheeks, kissing my lips, my forehead, my nose, while tucking my hair behind my ears.

"Edward isn't the only one capable of feeling things for you," he said, his voice shaking with vulnerability.

His lips meant my forehead one last time before he turned from me and walked away, leaving me to sort through the meaning of his confession.

* * *

I quietly walked in the front door of Edward's house, the house I currently resided in, careful to shut the door behind me with a soft click. It was dark and silent, my shame and regrets the only palpable notions surrounding me. I closed my eyes in relief for finally returning home, turning around and resting my back against the cold oak of the door as I let out an extended sigh. Flashes of Jacob flooded my mind, bringing me back to the feel of his skin and the taste of his lips.

That's when I felt it. A pair of eyes was watching me through the darkness, presenting me with the feeling that I was not alone. I shivered against the realization that _he_ was watching me, waiting for me.

Slowly, I inched my eyes open, fearing what I would find.

Sure enough, Edward was standing across the foyer from me, leaning against the wall at the base of the stairs. He was propped up against the banister with his back resting against it, his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes cold, yet worried as he stared across the distance, carefully appraising my appearance.

The darkness made him seem almost ominous, the air around me thickening as a moment of awkward silence filtered in the distance between us.

"Ed-Edward," I choked, unable to hide the guilt from my voice and the shock from my face at finding him waiting for me. "What are you doing up so late?"

His eyes flickered briefly to our grandfather clock before focusing back on me again. "Four in the morning?" he asked, quiet and unsure. "Four in the morning and you're walking through the front door? Where have you been?"

"I was…Angela. Angela called and she needed me," I said in a rush, realizing I hadn't planned this lie. I hated the lies, hated the person I had become.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was?" he asked, his voice increasing in volume as he took a few steps toward me and ran his hands frustratingly through his hair. "You left in the middle of the night without as much as a note or any clue to where you've gone. "

"I'm sorry," I said in a whisper, and I couldn't look him in the eyes, couldn't stand to see the sadness and suspicion I'd surely find manifested there.

There was a pause.

A deep breathe.

And then he was standing directly in front of me, hands on my shoulders, eyes searching mine.

"You have to tell me what's going on with you," he said forcefully. "Bella, please tell me what it is so I can make it better."

"I told you," I said, flinching away from his touch because I knew I didn't deserve it. "Angela needed me. That's all."

He stared at me then, looking me directly in the eyes and _I_ knew that _he_ knew. He knew I was lying, but I also knew that we would both pretend everything was fine. We'd pretend everything was fine because it was easier to live the lie than to face the truth.

The truth shatters.

The truth destroys.

After a long moment of impasse, Edward nodded his head and swallowed thickly. Before I could blink his arms were wrapping around me and he was pulling me into him, tucking his head to rest on top of mine. I could feel his heat, his _heart_, his desperation to keep me by his side, could feel his chest rise and fall with every tattered breath he took. He held me in silence for a time longer than I could remember with the ticking of the grandfather clock the only music to my ears.

He never called me out on my lies, never said another word. Instead, he exhaled harshly as if to except his fate, ruffling my hair before pulling away and kissing me gently on the forehead.

"I'm going to take a shower." His voice was low and quiet.

_He was defeated_.

* * *

After shifting through the kitchen, going through the everyday movements, I made Edward's lunch through a haze of remorse and disgust.

I felt sick, revolted.

I felt repentant.

I knew that I had to make it up to Edward. I had to go to him, apologize, be with him and only him. I needed to make this right again so that I could go back to being the woman that he loved, making his lunches without the tormenting thoughts, go back to being the Bella I once thought I was.

Somehow that line of thinking led me to find myself standing outside the bathroom door, listening to the soft rhythm as Edward showered, hearing the water as it spilled from the faucet and splattered against the tiled surface of the floor.

I opened the door gradually, stepping inside the steam filled room. Edward's shadow from behind the glass door was oblivious to my entrance, his head down and thoughts drifting.

Slowly, I stripped myself of my clothes, stripped myself of Jacob and the passion that we shared. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and stepped inside, Edward opening his eyes and lifting his head in response to my unplanned appearance. He looked surprised to see me, his eyes slightly widening as he reflexively took in my naked body.

The water was my only shield from his peering eyes, and suddenly I had never felt more exposed, as if he could see the remnants of my infidelity written on my flesh. I shivered, not because I was cold, but because I was suddenly very, _very_ hot.

"I'm so sorry," I managed to say, my voice slightly cracking. I felt the water beating down on me, flattening my hair as it dripped down my face, rolling beneath my chin.

"Sorry for what?" he asked, confusion written all over his face.

I expected the question, knew that he would ask it, but nevertheless, it took me off guard. Closing my eyes and sighing deeply, I breathed, "Sorry for everything."

"For being so distant lately," I added in response to the puzzled look he continued to offer me.

He didn't move, didn't speak.

Growing uncomfortable with the uncharacteristic atmosphere between us, I looked up at him and quietly asked, "Can you just hold me?"

I knew it was a selfish question, that I was being a selfish person, but I _needed_ him. I needed the comfort I knew only his arms could provide.

He blinked and licked his lips, closing the distance between us as he wrapped me up in his embrace, pulling me against him, skin to skin, heart to heart.

"Come back to me, baby," he pleaded after a moment of silence, his head lowering to my shoulder, his lips skimming my neck, as his nose buried into my hair and breathed me in.

Feeling Edward's arms around me, his warmth flooding my senses, I began to relax, began to feel like everything was going to be okay.

His lips eventually sought out mine, capturing me in a heated kiss of fire and desperation. There was no barrier between us as his hands slid up my slippery body and into my hair, crushing my face to his. I felt him grow hard against my hip, felt him push me into the shower wall as his slid himself against me.

The walls were closing in on me, the shower suddenly making me feel claustrophobic. I knew there was no way I could reject him again, not after it had been so long since we were intimate, but the thought of corrupting him with my unfaithfulness made me physically ill.

He moaned into my mouth, shifting his hips into me as his hands glided down my curves, gripping my waist and thrusting me into him. "I fucking want you so bad," he said breathlessly against my lips, "Please, baby, I need you."

I held back tears as I closed my eyes and pulled my mouth away, nodding my head and giving into what he wanted, what he needed.

In one swift motion, his hands were under me, hoisting me up as I wrapped my legs around his waist. The position brought memories to mind, memories of a different man, a different time, memories that I knew I had to push aside while with Edward. I opened my eyes to push the recollections away, finding nothing but love and emerald staring back at me.

_I can do this._

_I can go through with this._

Edward rested his forehead against mine as our breathing increased in tune with each other. Never taking his eyes off me, he lifted and positioned, gasped and panted in anticipation of what was to come.

And then as if my inner conflictions were getting answered, as if a higher power had felt my disinclination, the hot water that had been streaming around us wasn't feeling so hot anymore.

That's when the hot water turned cold.

_Ice cold._

Edward tensed, paused for a moment, and then sighed while dropping his head into my shoulder, recognizing that our connection was gone, the mood completely ruined.

I shivered against him, apologizing again as he lowered me to my feet.

In the midst of at all…

The only thing I felt was relief.

* * *

**A/N: As always, I need to say thank you thank you thank you to my wifey-lovah, **_**my hubby is no Edward**_**. Without her I couldn't write. Without her, this story wouldn't exist and I'd just suck at life. She forever owns my heart.**

**Also, I wanted to add that Edward does NOT know what's going on with Bella. I can see where that might get a little confusing. He isn't stupid, so he knows she's lying about a lot of stuff, but he's not really sure why. The poor guy is completely baffled.**

**Last but not least, please head over and visit the Team SOB blog if you haven't already done so. There's a very special girl named Amber in need of some kindness.**

**http://teamsob[DOT]blogspot[DOT]com/**

**Much Love,**

**Rhi**


	7. Pleasant Surprises

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.**

**

* * *

  
**

**Seventh Inning Stretch**

**Chapter 7: Pleasant Surprises**

After Edward left for work, I found myself curled back under the safety and solitude of the bedroom comforter, feeling the unique warmth and security only it could provide. I was exhausted, after getting no sleep throughout the night, so I found myself dozing off immediately into a dreamless slumber.

Something happened over the course of those hours, in the confines of those four bedroom walls. Something inside of me changed entirely. When I woke hours later, the sun shining high in the sky around the noon hour, I felt different. I felt lighter. I felt like everything was suddenly clearer.

_I could do it._

I could marry Edward. I could be with Jacob. I could do this and keep them both.

I realized how completely and irrationally selfish it all sounded, but I knew it was the only answer that I could live with. It was simple. I had to have them both, therefore I would.

I would have to learn to lie, and lie better.

I was smiling to myself as I crawled out of bed and into the shower. I was still smiling as I got dressed in boxers and a tank with my favorite silk robe on top, and I continued to smile while I walked downstairs to make myself something to eat. Maybe it was sleep deprivation, or maybe I truly was becoming insane, but whatever the cause, I was happier than I had been in quite some time.

I had just opened the refrigerator in search of the Brita filter when I heard my phone vibrating on the kitchen table. Picking it up and examining the screen, my face instantly heated and my heart rate beat in overdrive.

_Jacob._

_Deep breath in. Deep breath out._

"Hello?" I answered, my voice shaking with my anticipation to hear his voice.

"Bella," he said, quick and confident.

"Jacob."

"Is everything okay?" he asked, his sudden concern evident in his tone.

"Yes, of course, everything's fine," I replied, bringing my hand to my heart in an attempt to steady it.

"Is Edward…?" he asked his voice trailing off as he let the question linger, Edward's presence always remaining between us.

"No, no he's at work," I said, anxiously pacing the length of the kitchen, trying to stop myself from thinking about the previous night, about shower stalls and broken promises.

"Well good, that's good," he said, sounding slightly distracted.

"Um, yeah," I replied a little perplexed by our conversation. Was he calling just to talk? Did he want something, need something?

"So uh…I was just sitting in class and I really couldn't concentrate on anything else but you," he spoke after a moment of silence between us, and I could hear what appeared to be a radio playing softly in the background. "I swear it's like every time I close my eyes--"

"Wait, did you say _class_?" I asked, interrupting him.

"Uh, yeah…. _class_. Why, is there something wrong with that?"

"Well no, I uh…just thought…well I mean I didn't know you were in college," I tried to explain, pathetically stuttering over my words while accidentally stubbing my toe on my way from the refrigerator to the kitchen counter. "Ouch…shit, _shit_!"

I began hopping on one foot, trying to balance the phone, the Brita, and my clumsy weight all on one foot. Needless to say, I was unsuccessful in my attempts and the entire container filled with water fell out of my hand, splashing onto the floor with a loud splatter. "Aw, fuck!"

I heard a deep chuckle coming from the other end of the phone. "Is everything alright?" I could barely make out what he was saying through his laughter. "You just said _fuck_, and it truly was comedic coming from your pretty, little mouth."

"I'm glad you find my inconveniences amusing," I said dryly, trying to hold back from laughing at myself right along with him.

"What exactly are you doing over there, anyway?" he asked, still sounding very much amused.

"Just trying to pour myself a glass of water, thank you very much," I replied through a smile. "Turns out, my floor will be getting mopped two days early."

"Well hey, I can think of worse things," he replied.

And then we were silent.

Awkwardly so.

I could hear his breathing, a steady hum in his background.

"Yeah, so anyway…" I eventually said as I walked quickly to the linen closet and pulled out two towels to clean up my mess. "You're in college?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Does that change things?" he asked, sounding amused again.

"Well no…"

I fell to my knees beside the giant puddle on the sheet vinyl and spread out the towels, watching as the water soaked through and darkened their hues.

"I'm just surprised is all," I added when he didn't respond right away.

"Surprised?" he questioned, his voice turning slightly cold. "Why? Am I not "cut out" for college, Bella? Am I not good enough for it?"

"No," I said suddenly, wishing I could take back what I had said. I realized the way it sounded, not really meaning it to at all. "Of course not. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to come out that way. I'm just surprised I didn't know about it sooner, that's all."

"We haven't really fit in time for much talking," he said, bluntly.

I sighed into the phone because I knew he was right. I knew very little about him, very little about his daily routines, but what I did know…what I could picture in my mind was every scar on his body, every corner that would make him beg for more.

"I guess we haven't," I replied, quietly.

Silence. Again.

I picked up the wet towels and took them upstairs to the hamper, phone resting on my shoulder beside my ear, and heart beating heavily in my chest. I could hear the radio get louder in the background, could hear Jacob's steady breathing again as we continued to stay connected but shared no verbal communication.

In and out.

In and out.

"Jacob?" I asked, breaking the silence while stopping to lean against the bathroom door.

"Yeah, I'm still here," he replied.

"What are you doing?" My voice was slightly shaky, my face flushed as it so often was when I thought about Jacob and his breathing, heavy and heated.

"Driving."

"Okay…" I said lamely, because it was the only thing that would come to mind.

"Aren't you going to ask me where I'm heading?" he asked, and I could hear that he was smiling.

"Do you want me to ask you where you're heading?" I was walking down the steps now, the kitchen my intended destination once again.

"I do."

"Where are you heading?"

"Your house."

I nearly fell down the last set of stairs while choking on my own saliva. "Excuse me?"

"Did you break something again?" he asked.

"You don't know where I live," I whispered, placing my hand on my heart while standing across from the foyer and watching the front door as if it were about to burst open, revealing Jacob to me in all his glory at any given moment.

"Oh, don't I?" He sounded sure, confident, always cool and collected…and me. Well I was dying, practically coming apart at the seams at the mere thought of him showing up here.

_Edward's territory._

My stomach filled with butterflies, attacking me with lust at the prospect of seeing him again, at the prospect of just how wrong and risky this particular meeting would be.

"Jacob…I don't think that--"

"White house, red door….hmmm, nice shrubbery, did Edward do that himself?"

I was frozen, my mind reeling. He couldn't actually be here…could he? He didn't really know where I lived…did he?

"Hello? You still there?"

His voice brought me out of my inner turmoil. "I uh…he didn't…um…"

I ran into the living, fighting with the lace curtain to pull it back to look out the window. Sure enough, there was a tiny red car sitting at the very end of my paved driveway.

"Jacob." His name came out a whisper as all the air left my lungs.

That's when I heard it…a subtle knock at the front door.

"Are you gonna answer that?" he asked.

"You can't…Jake, you shouldn't be here." I was panicking, my palms doused with sweat as a million different scenarios raced through my mind.

_Edward coming home early. _

_The neighbors walking outside and seeing him standing on my front porch. _

_Rosaslie popping in for a surprise visit._

"Someone could see you," I finally managed to say in a rush.

"I guess you better come open the door then, huh?" From the tone of his voice I could tell he was enjoying this. And he was right. The longer he stood outside, the better the chances were that someone would see him.

Letting the curtain swing closed behind me, I rushed over to the front door, pausing for a moment to smooth my hair and catch my breath. I flung the door open causally, trying to act infinitely calmer in contrast to the circus parade currently flowing inside of me.

"Hi," he said through a slight smile, his right hand still holding his phone to his ear. My eyes met his for a second before reflexively lowering to take in the bouquet of purple tulips in his left hand.

"Hi," I said distractedly, still trying to wrap my mind around everything that was happening. Once again I was completely conflicted, my body rejoicing for being in close proximity to him while my brain was trying to tell me that this meeting was taking our relationship to dangerous levels.

"Oh, these are for you," he said, and if I didn't know any better, I would say he was almost a little… _embarrassed_. It took him a moment, but eventually he extended the flowers out in my direction. "I uh, I mean I just saw them and thought of you…you know, thought you might like them and all."

"Um, yes, thank you," I said reaching out and taking them, idly lifting them up to my nose to smell each one. I was caught completely off guard, entirely speechless that he would actually have the nerve to show up at Edward's house, buying me flowers and smiling the smile he knew I couldn't resist.

His confidence was sexy.

God, how I wanted him. How I fucking ached for him.

He must have sensed my attraction for him, maybe read my inner thoughts, because in that instant he took a step toward me, invading my personal space and clouding my senses. His body was inches from mine, heat radiating off of him and melting me from the inside, out. I could feel his breath on my skin, closed my eyes and tried to keep my unsteady knees from collapsing.

"I fucking missed you," he whispered into my hair, his hand descending on my shoulders, gripping me and pulling me closer. I held my breath as his head buried into my neck, his right hand finding its way inside my robe as his fingertips leisurely brushed it off of my shoulder. His lips claimed my exposed flesh, a shiver rippling up my spine as a muted gasp escaped my hold.

I was very much aware that we were still standing in the doorway to my house, completely exposed for any passerby to see, yet I couldn't bring myself to care. I needed his hands on me, needed his lips to dance over my flesh. That was all that mattered. He was all that mattered and I knew it was hazardous.

"Oh, God…" I said, closing my eyes and tilting my head to allow him easier access. "Why can't I say no to you?"

My voice was foreign to me, deep and breathy.

"Because you're a smart girl," he whispered against my skin, and we were moving, backing up inside of the house.

A moment passed and his lips found their way up my jaw, licking and sucking until they captured my own. It only took an instant for our passion to escalate, no time for sweet caresses as our bodies tossed haphazardly around, hitting off one wall before bouncing to the next, shaky fingers working desperately to untie robes and unfasten belt buckles. The flowers fell to the floor with an audible plop, but neither of us seemed to care. I arched into him, wrapping my arms around him and practically begging for him to take away any unwanted distance between us. I fisted my hands into the hair at the nape of his neck, as he shifted his hips roughly against me, connecting all of him against all of me.

Everything began moving so fast, my body taking over my rational mind as Jacob's hands worked their way up my thighs, crawling beneath the open legs of my shorts. I was being lifted, my legs wrapping around him as we moved, back…back…

Down.

My body lowering, leaning against the bumpy, unsteady surface of the steps. Jacob's lips left mine as he pulled up and held himself between my open legs, both of us panting and gasping for air.

"Take off your shorts," he demanded, his eyes dark, dripping with lust.

I complied quickly, clumsily shimmying them down over my bony hips until they caught on the crooks of my knees. Jacob wasted no time tugging them the rest of the way off, tossing them away from our heated bubble. He lowered himself down on me again, his hands working on me through my tank top as his lips once again met with mine.

It was only another second before neither of us could take it anymore, both of us reaching down and fumbling with his jeans until both them and his boxers were pulled down low enough to release him. With his lips still never leaving mine, he tugged, pulled, and shifted until my underwear were down, down, lower, and off.

He entered me quickly and forcefully, one thrust and I was filled completely.

"Fuck," he murmured, his eyes closing and his forehead scrunching as though he were in deep concentration.

He let out a rumbling groan and I moaned with the sensations it provoked in me. To know that I was the reason he made those sounds filled me with a sense of pride. I craved more of it, more of him, more of everything that I knew we could be together.

He moved steadily within me, his body thrusting forward to meet mine as his hands latched on to my hips to stabilize himself. His eyes fastened shut as mine stayed open, fixated on watching him. My eyes roamed languorously over his frame as I took in the way his sweat made his shirt mold around the swells and curves of his muscles as he moved above me, and inside of me. I was consumed by him, a fire building in my body that had me quivering and panting. I needed more, desperately clinging on the edge of my sanity.

I licked my dry lips as I gasped for breath, gazing furtively at the transformations his face made with each thrust. He was beautiful, a dark mahogany blanket of outward arrogance, but inner vulnerability.

It was as if he was attuned to my inner ramblings, he opened his eyes and beneath the wanton desire, there was blatant warmth that rocked me to the core. Something screamed in my head that he felt what I felt, and I was comforted by this. He smiled a genuine smile down at me, one which I returned wholeheartedly before he lowered his mouth to mine. Against my lips, he murmured affirmations of yearning that set my body ablaze.

I wasn't going to last much longer, feeling my release slowly build inside of me, begging me to be set free. He was close, too. I could sense it in his labored breathing as his muscles tightened and his teeth clenched. I mimicked him, closing my eyes and biting my bottom lip, threading it between my teeth as I concentrated on holding out for him.

Moans led to a silent void only permeated by the brushes and slapping of our perspiring skin. He sunk his teeth into my neck and growled, immediately turning the small blaze into a raging inferno. Our bodies collided, and with spewed profanities and clashing mouths, we clung to each other as our connection gave way to the eternal bliss of ecstasy. Wave after wave of blinding heat propelled my body until I was left breathless with Jake's heavily-weighted frame lying on top of me. Chuckling into the groove of my neck, he kissed the skin there before he heatedly stated, "Bella, you are amazing."

And, I felt amazing. He made me feel his words, like I could do anything I wanted, be anything I wanted. It was then, as he gently raised his head to meet the intensity of my gaze, that I felt it. I felt something shift inside of me, between us, feelings that bubbled over and threatened to escape my lips. He meant more to me than what I wanted, more than what I ever expected.

He seemed to sense the intimacy of the moment, and he quickly glanced away, pushing away from me to gather up his clothing.

_What just happened between us?_

After taking a deep breath, I sat up, my eyes scanning over the floor for my missing garments. In that moment, a mild, but chilled breeze blew across my skin, beckoning my gaze to flow across the foyer.

My eyes locked on the wide open front door.

* * *

**A/N:** Hi there, I'm still alive.

If there are errors in this chapter, well it's because it's late and I'm exhausted and didn't feel like reading over it for the 80th time.

Thank you all for reading and sticking with me even when I fail at updating. You seriously all own a piece of my heart.

Everyone who has reviewed and I have not replied, please know that I love you and appreciate your words and advice.

Also, I have gotten a ton of PMs asking where to find my work in case something happens and FFnet decides to delete my account.

Thankfully, all of my stories are also posted over at Twilighted[DOT]net so feel free to head over there if need be. SIS is kind of lonely.

Last but not least, thank you times a million to my lovah babe, **my hubby is no Edward**, because she puts the Stretch in Seventh Inning and without her, I'd be nada.

(And the lemon would seriously be lacking considering she helped me write the entire thing.)


	8. Open Up, Let Him Inside

_Disclaimer: I don't own a damn thing. Oh wait, I did just buy the most beautiful, cute little cottage-like house, on a nice and quaint neighborhood street._

_ Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement intended. _

_Hi to all the new readers and reviewers! Welcome and know that you are much appreciated!_

_

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_

**Seventh Inning Stretch**

**Chapter 8: Open Up, Let Him Inside**

Pulling myself up off the floor, adrenaline pulsed through me as I flung my body across the hardwood floors of the foyer, crashing into the front door as I slammed it shut with a loud, echoing bang. My heart thrummed erratically inside of my ribcage, my breaths coming in panicked spurts as I turned around and rested my spine against the cool, red paneling of the front door.

My eyes were closed but I knew he was watching me.

We were so close to being caught, so close to exposing everything for our careless altercations, and even though I wanted Jacob…wanted this, everything we have, I couldn't risk hurting Edward and ruining the good-natured, perfectly content man that he was.

We had to be more careful.

I felt myself come in contact with the chilled floor before I even realized I was sliding.

I held my eyes tightly closed, letting the entire situation flash through my mind again in various images of heavy breaths, sweaty bodies, and guttural moans of passion. We had left the door wide open. We left it wide fucking open for anyone in the world to see because we couldn't keep our hands off each other.

That's when I felt it…a bubble of humor. It was rising up my throat, escaping my hold outside of my best interests or physical control.

I was fucking laughing. It was loud and hysterical and I could hardly catch my breath.

It was so ridiculous, the entire situation…leaving the front door wide open and fucking each other senseless on the steps, the steps that led to the upstairs of Edward's house, the steps that led upstairs to the bedroom I shared with him. My actions, everything I have been doing, am still doing…is nothing but ridiculous and irrational. But, I can't stop.

Finally, I opened my eyes in the midst of my laughter, feeling my composure creeping back into my grasp, as I stared at Jacob, stared at him as he watched me in amusement.

My smile faded almost as quickly as it came. The way he was looking at me, the way he always looked at me made me feel guilty for wanting him so badly.

I took a deep breath, rubbing my face with my hands, pushing my hair out of my eyes.

"That was so fucking stupid," I said quietly, somehow finding my voice again.

"Bella--" Jacob began as he started toward me, his voice cautious and guarded.

"We could have been caught," I said a little louder, ignoring him completely.

"But we weren't," Jacob said reassuringly as he knelt down in front of me.

"But we could have been, Jacob, and what the hell are we doing? Why are you here? This is _his_ house…why did you come here?" I asked, frantically, and I didn't want to, but I couldn't stop myself from nearly shouting at him.

"Bella, stop," he said sternly, taking my face in his hands, locking his eyes with mine, dark and intense. "It's fine. _We _are fine. Everything is fine."

"Why did you come here?" I asked again.

"I told you," he replied, simply.

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"What are we doing?" I asked, almost a whisper.

He sighed, leaning his forehead against mine. "Stop."

I felt his hot breath, felt silk and heat as his lips connected with mine, soft and delicate.

"You want me here," he said against my lips, confident and sure.

"Yes," I breathed.

"You don't want me to leave," he added.

"No," I agreed.

"We are doing what we both want. This is good, what we are doing…it's good and we both want it," he said, his lips touching mine again.

"Yes," I agreed, feeling myself getting lost in him, in his words and his beauty.

"Then stop over thinking it," he said, backing away from me, standing to his feet while grabbing my hands and pulling me up beside him.

"You're right," I said, nodding my head. "You're right, I'm sorry."

"I'm always right," he said through a smirk, releasing my hands from his heated grip. "When will you learn that?"

I simply shook my head in response to his arrogance, rolling my eyes and pushing some more of my hair out of my eyes.

"Speaking of sorry," he said, turning his back to me and pointing to a pile of green leaves and purple flowers on the floor. "Guess my hard-earned money doesn't mean anything to you, just tossing them to the floor and forgetting about them."

He took a deep, dramatic breath before placing his hand on his heart. "I must say, I'm deeply hurt."

My eyes widened in shock and dismay. "What? NO!" I nearly shouted, hurrying to pick the tulips up from the ground. "I love them, truly. I didn't mean to---"

"Bella, relax," he said through a laugh, interrupting me. "I'm just fucking with you. You're too adorable, you know that?"

I turned to face him again as his teasing slowly began to sink in. "You ass!" I said, smiling and reaching out to slap him.

He was quicker than me, though, because before my hand had the time to connect with his arm, he grabbed my wrist and jerked me toward him, forcing my chest to collide with his. My breath caught as I glanced up at him from beneath my lashes, already affected by his proximity and his scent.

Slowly but surely, his eyes connected with mine as he dipped his head down, nipping gently at my bottom lip before pulling back away.

My heart was pounding in overdrive, my body on fire as I tried to make sense of the way this man made me feel. I could feel my lips pulling up into a soft smile, my fingers lightly tracing over my bottom lip that had been so sweetly assaulted.

"Well," I said, all breathy and flushed as I finally snapped out of my reverie, "I guess I better go put these in some water."

"I guess you better," he said through a smirk, releasing me as I reluctantly pulled out of his embrace and walked toward the kitchen.

* * *

My back was facing him but I knew he was watching me. I could feel him again , his eyes and his stare, and I knew that he was leaning against the marble counter top, arms crossed and a slight smile on his face.

I nervously worked in silence, cutting off the very tips of the stems and arranging them in a vase that Edward's mother had bought us for a house warming gift.

"Nice kitchen you got here," he said, finally breaking the charged silence, and if I didn't know any better I'd say there was definitely a hint of sarcasm etched with his tone.

"Thanks," I said, even though I knew he didn't mean it. The truth was, I didn't mean it either, because the kitchen was nothing that I would have ever chosen on my own. It was sleek and expensive, stuffy and uncomfortable. The counters themselves cost more than the entire college education that I so desperately craved.

After I finished with my task, I tentatively turned around to find that I was right about Jacob's position. His eyes were directly on me, seeking and searching, and even though I was expecting it, his intensity still took me completely off guard.

"What?" I asked, coyly, feeling uneasy under his gaze.

"You're beautiful," he said, and his words were so genuine, his features so relaxed and true that the compliment nearly took my breath away. It was unexpected and uncharacteristic, a different kind of intimacy between us.

I felt it in the pit of my stomach, an ache or a flop, butterflies forming and assaulting me, all feelings I couldn't understand.

Before I could find the words to respond, he was walking toward me, his eyes fixed on my lips as he licked his own. When he reached me, he pulled me, my body melting into him as his mouth captured mine, lips dancing and gliding so softly and sweetly.

I wanted more of him, wrapping my arms around his neck, but he was being gentle, pulling away, taking a breath, kissing me lightly again and again.

"Jacob," I breathed against his lips, wrapping my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck and arching my body into him. "Come closer...I want you to--"

He sucked on my bottom lip, stealing my words and my thoughts, and just when I thought he was going to touch me somewhere, everywhere that I needed him to, he gingerly gripped my shoulders, pushing me a few inches away while smiling down at me.

"I'm waiting for my tour of the house," he said, a little out of breath, definitely amused by the expression on my face.

"Now?" I asked, unable to hide my disappointment.

"Yes, now," he said, taking my hand and pulling me out of the room. "C'mon, I want to see the upstairs."

* * *

I watched him uneasily, nervously biting my bottom lip as he walked around the only room in this house that felt like my own. He was completely silent, his eyes dancing over the art hanging on the walls that I had poured my entire heart and soul into. This was my room...the art room as Edward called it, and I couldn't remember the last time I spent longer than a minute in here. The truth was, it broke my heart, felt like all my dreams were lost and locked away in the pictures behind the door.

"Wow, these are great," he eventually commented, picking up a smaller piece--one that I painted of a willow tree in the heart of the city, a tree that I spent long hours studying beneath--turning it and tilting it, watching as it glowed differently in the various angles beneath the natural sunlight of the room.

"Are you some kind of collector? Where did you get them?" he asked when I was unable to respond.

I felt naked, ironically so, because despite our very active sexual relationship, I had never felt more exposed to him than I did in that moment.

"They're mine," I said through a whisper. I tried to speak louder, really I did, but I couldn't seem to find my voice and the room was reminding me of everything I gave up, everything that I still wanted so badly to have. I wanted to paint, I wanted to dream, I wanted to be something more than a wife to a rich man who would take care of me for the rest of my days. I wanted to be creative and alive, free to draw and free to escape to a any world I felt like going to on any given day.

"Well yeah," he said through light laughter. "Obviously, but where did you buy them?"

I didn't want to have this conversation with this man, this conversation that was approaching dangerous and very personal, intimate grounds. Yet, I wanted to pour myself all over him, open up and let him inside to see me for everything that I truly am, or was...everything I used to be.

The smile on his face slowly faded as he seemingly noticed the terrified expression on my face. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, taking my hand and stepping closer to me.

"Nothing," I said, my voice slightly shaking. "I just...I uh, I made them. I drew them, painted them. They're mine." The moment the words left my lips, I wanted to run and hide, be anywhere else but in this room that was suffocating me.

"No way," he said, watching me for a moment to see if I was joking, then when he seemed satisfied that I was serious, he glanced around the room again. "All of them? I didn't know you were an artist, why didn't you tell me?"

He stepped away from me and walked over to one of the pictures leaning against the farthest left corner. It was the picture of the Holocaust Museum I drew on my last day working there. "You should sell this one to the museum. I'm sure they'd be interested!"

I laughed humorlessly. "Yeah...um, about that, about these," I said gesturing around the room with my hands, "this isn't me anymore. I don't do this anymore, and I certainly would never expect anyone to be interested in paying for my work."

"That's bullshit," he said abruptly, snatching the museum picture up from the ground and marching back over to me. "How much?"

I blinked and looked at him in confusion. "What are you...no, no it's not for sale."

"Like hell it's not. You don't believe me that people will buy your stuff, well watch me. Now, tell me how much?"

"Jacob," I argued, trying to fight back a smile at how defensive he was being over my artwork. "I don't think--"

"How much," he interrupted a littlle louder, digging out a wallet from his pocket.

"No, seriously, what are you going to do with a picture of a--"

"Bella, stop," he said, pulling out three twenty dollar bills. "Sixty? That's all I have right now, but I can give you more later."

I shook my head, unable to fight off the grin any longer. "I don't want your money, you goof. You can have it for free."

He took my hand in his, opened my palm and placed the three twenty dollar bills inside of it. "Here's sixty now, I'll give you forty tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" I asked, finally giving in and taking the money while quirking my eyebrow at the prospect of seeing him again.

"Yes, tomorrow" he said, his lips turning up into a grin. "You're coming over for lunch."

"Grilled cheese sandwhiches again?" I joked, walking over to the door to the art room and waiting for him to follow. I was ready to escape the room that contained so much from my past, even if Jacob's enthusiam made me feel the urge to draw again, to spend hours inside these four walls again.

Sure enough, he followed behind me, his new picture in hand, becoming not only my very first art customer, but also my very last.

Once we were between the walls of the upstairs hallway again, Jacob sat his picture down, resting it against the wall. "I'll get that post-tour."

"Whatever," I said, smiling at him, reaching out and effortlessly grabbing his hand. I'm not sure what possessed me to reach out for him so freely, but the moment are fingers touched, he squeezed my hand and smirked at my from a sideways glance.

"You know," he started to say as we walked down the hall hand-in hand, "I haven't felt this good in a long time."

_Me either_, I thought, and I wanted to say it out loud, but I knew that I shouldn't. My stomach was aching, flipping and flopping again, and I wanted him to feel it, feel everything he was making me feel, but it was wrong, and dangerous, and I couldn't allow myself to fall for him in the ways that my body was begging me to. I didn't know him, not like the ways I knew Edward, and he didn't know me, had so much more to learn before I could ever tell him all the things he was doing to me.

Instead of speaking, I tentatively smiled, showing him quickly around the bathroom, quickly picking up Edward's boxers and Hanes T-shirt off the floor and throwing them in the hamper while cursing under my breath.

"Sorry about that," I said sheepishly, returning to his side and grabbing his hand again, hoping he wasn't upset. "Typical male."

"Right," Jacob said, pulling his hand from mine and leaving the room. Sighing and calling myself a few choice words, I quickly followed him across the hall and into the next room.

It was the most personal room. The bedroom. The bedroom I shared with my future husband.

I watched Jacob cautiously for a moment, gauging his reaction. He stood completely still just inside the doorway, his eyes scanning over the unmade bed, the various articles of clothing scattered around the room. It looked like the bedroom of lovers, the bedroom of two people that became one, living and sleeping in the same bed, sharing a life and a home.

"Your bedroom?" he asked, quietly.

"Yeah," I admitted, standing by his side and waiting for him to say something more.

There was silence between us for a moment and then he stepped forward, walking around the bed as he drank in the very room, the very spot that I so often share with someone other than him.

"Which side do you sleep on?" he asked.

"Jacob..." I said, approaching him, taking his hand and trying to pull him away from the "mine and Edward" and out of the room. "C'mon, we shouldn't be in here."

"No," he said, pulling his hand out of my grasp. "I want to know. I want to know everything, want to know what he does to you that you like," he said, his voice turning darker, his eyes falling on me, deep and intense.

"Look," I said gently, taking a step backward, away from him, unsure of what he was going to do. "Let's just...not talk about this stuff, okay?"

"I said I want to know!" he suddenly yelled, swiftly stalking toward me until he had me trapped against the wall, hands on either side.

We were both breathing heavy, his eyes angry and furious, mine wide with shock and terror.

He stared at me for a moment, stared while I tried to steady my heavy beating heart.

I watched him as his features relaxed, shifted and changed, his hands slowly sliding away from the wall as he backed away and ducked his head sadly.

"I'm sorry," he said, full of remorse. "I didn't mean...I'm just...I should go. I need to go."

With that, he pushed past me, his footsteps echoing off the narrow walls of the hallway.

It only took me a second to pull myself together, only took a second to realize that I didn't want him to go, that I needed him to stay here with me, to understand the situation, and be okay with it all.

I hurriedly flung myself from the wall and out of the room, sprinting down the hallway and halfway down the steps where I was able to throw myself in front of him, stopping him in his tracks.

"Jake, wait," I said frantically, grabbing him and pushing him against the wall in much the same way that he had just done to me. "Just wait, don't go, don't leave."

"I thought I could do this," he said, everything about him screaming defeat. "But, I can't. I'm sorry. I just can't, and there's so much that you don't know...and I'm just...I shouldn't be here."

"No, don't say that" I said, grabbing each side of his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. "I want you here, I want to be with you here and I want to learn, to learn everything about you. Just tell me," I said, reaching up on my tip toes to place my lips against his. "You just have to tell me."

"You want to know what I want?" he asked, shifting again, backing us up until I was against the wall and he was in control.

I nodded as he brought his mouth down on mine again. This kiss was rough and heated, all of his previous gentleness and tender nature fading and giving way to something else entirely. His hands were pulling at my hair, reaching and grabbing until he had my right leg, hitching it up around his waist and pressing all of him against all of me.

I moaned in response, arching and grinding against him unabashedly. "Please..." I begged, though I'm not sure why or for what I was asking of him.

"I want to fuck you," he said, smooth and fierce, and I wanted him to do just that.

"Please," I begged again, deep and raspy.

With that, he hitched up my other leg until I was completely wrapped around him. I felt us moving up the steps, down the hall, kisses and moans clouding my judgment. My hands were grabbing hair, pulling him closer to me as my mouth glided effortlessly with his.

"I want to fuck you here," he said.

I felt my back come in contact with something soft, the feel of my mattress giving way to my weight. I knew where he had taken me, knew what his intentions were, and more importantly, I knew how incredibly immoral and wrong it was. But, I had to have him. I didn't care about anything else, I just had to have him.

I opened my legs to him, welcoming him in, watching as he descended upon me and claimed Edward's territory as his own.

It was quick and rough, loud and breathy, but inch by inch, thrust by thrust, I allowed more and more of myself to become his and only his in that moment.

* * *

_A/N: It's been forever. Truly, I'm sorry. __  
__ I'm getting married in two weeks. Yep, crazy I know. __  
__That should explain where I have been!__  
__Love you all, babies, and please let me know what you're thinking!  
I need some serious feedback. :-)_

_Thank you to my beta/lover/wifey/bff forever my __**hubby is no edward**__, because I can't write a word without her holding my hand._

_If you're not yet reading her fic, "What's Lust Got to do with it?" then you're a crazy nutto.  
_


	9. Washed Away But Not Forgotten

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, settings, plot, etc. etc. **

**Stephenie Meyer is the genius behind that creation and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**

* * *

**

**Seventh Inning Stretch**

**Chapter 9: Washed Away but Not Forgotten **

I brought the fabric to my nose, breathing in deeply as the scents of fresh laundry and spring flowers assaulted my senses. The sheets were spotless, washing away all of my unfaithfulness and disgrace, but I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. Even though they were clean, my body…my _actions_ were not. I didn't want to look at the bed anymore, didn't want to remember everything that I so desperately wanted to relive again and again.

I sighed, letting out a long breath of air as I managed to open up and see, images instantly entering my thoughts and consuming my mind. I was falling for Jacob. I was falling hard and there was nothing I could do to stop it, though I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to do anything to stop it. I loved the way he made me feel, loved the way my body responded to every touch and every kiss.

I closed my eyes again and tried to fight off a smile as I recalled Jacob gently lying me down, recalled the hungry and determined look in his eyes when he climbed between my legs. My entire body covered in goosebumps as I shivered against the recollection of him entering me again and again, the ecstasy I felt and the overwhelming bubbles of emotions too much to ignore.

He had left soon after our encounter, taking his painting with a genuine smile on his face and a kiss to my cheek. I knew that I was in too deep and could see it in his eyes that maybe he was starting to feel the same things I was feeling.

I pushed my thoughts aside, opening my eyes one final time as I fanned out the sheet, letting it cascade over the length of the bed. I walked to each side, humming to myself as I dutifully tucked and smoothed until the tidy sheet was fitted perfectly along the edges. As I stared down at my work lost in thought, I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of Edward's voice.

"There she is," he said brightly, walking up behind me while wrapping his strong arms around my waist and pulling me in close to his body. I tried to hold back my guilt as I felt his lips on the back of my neck, felt him breathing me in and loving me in all the ways I didn't deserve. "I missed you today."

"Edward," I replied, shimmying out of his embrace and turning around to smile at him weakly. "You scared me to death."

"Sorry, love," he said through a playful smile, hooking his arms around my waist and pulling me close to him again. He gently grabbed my wrists, lifting them up and wrapping them around his neck. "I had a hell of day and am so glad to be home with you now."

His lips captured mine, kissing me gently while softly murmuring, "So beautiful."

This strange behavior of his was new and puzzling, uncharacteristic for him to be so overly affectionate. I couldn't help but wonder that perhaps he could feel the distance between us and was trying to pull me in again.

"I'm sorry about your bad day," I managed to say as soon as his lips left mine, moving down to gently suck on my neck.

I felt a lump forming in my throat, felt an overwhelming sense of remorse for my betrayal. _If only he knew..._

The next thing I knew, my back was landing on the soft give of the mattress for the second time that day. Edward was climbing on top of me, kissing me and loving me, and I couldn't breath.

"Edward..." I whispered, trying to get him to stop, realizing this couldn't happen.

It was no use, he ignored my words while playfully rolling us over and pulling me on top of him, his hands rubbing up and down my bare thighs.

He smiled up at me as I stared down at him unable to stop the light laugh to escape me in response to his genuine delight in my presence. If this was going to work, if I was going to continue to see Jacob, I had to start acting the part. I needed to stop pulling so far away.

"You changing the sheets again?" he asked, his hands sliding up my back.

"I am," I said, bending down to kiss him chastely before pulling away again and pushing some of his hair out of his eyes. Beautiful green green green looking back at me and why wasn't it enough?

"I thought you just changed them a week ago," he replied, his features contorting to reflect his confusion. "I mean it's not like we're _that _dirty, baby."

"You can never be too clean," I said through a shrug, patting his chest lightly before pulling out of his arms and standing up again.

"Guess not," he said through a smirk, standing up to join me. "What smells so good?"

"Chicken cordon bleu," I said, and it definitely occurred to me how coincidental it was for me to make Edward's favorite meal after sleeping with another man in his bed.

"Ahhh, my favorite," he said, smiling, pulling me in for another quick kiss before releasing me and walking to the closet to change his clothes.

I perched myself at the edge of the bed, watching him and his movements, unable to take my eyes off of him in that moment. His pale yellow dress shirt was taken off, haphazardly thrown to the floor in a heap as he twisted and bended through the closet, searching for an appropriate T-shirt to wear for the remainder of the evening. My eyes remained on him while the lean muscles of his naked back flexed as he reached up to the closet shelf, pulling down one of his favorite sports shirts. He was breathtaking, everything about him was everything I had ever wanted, and yet I wasn't feeling the things I used to feel in his presence. I hated myself for this, hated myself for not appreciating the best thing that has ever happened to me. He was perfect. He was exactly what I wanted for the rest of my life so why couldn't my heart flutter uncontrollably the way it did when Jacob entered a room? Why wouldn't me stomach flip and flop and encourage me to go after everything I desired the way it did when Jacob spoke my name?

My eyes were distant, my thoughts scattered, but when Edward turned in my direction, his eyes finally locking on mine, I knew I was caught. His grin was playful and easy, and I wished he could be this happy, that I could make him this happy for the rest of eternity.

"See something you like?" he asked, purposely running his hand down the center of his naturally carved abdomen, his happy trail peaking out over his boxer briefs.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling at his silliness, shaking my head and rolling my eyes while replying, "Okay, I better head downstairs to check on dinner. We certainly don't want burnt chicken."

I was already halfway out the door by the time he spoke, unable to hear his muffled reply through the closet walls.

* * *

After grabbing the finished chicken out of the oven, I gently sat it down on the stove, relieved that I didn't ruin Edward's favorite meal. Removing the lid from the casserole dish with my obnoxiously expensive oven mitt, I closed my eyes and breathed in the heavenly aroma. I was so caught up in my food preparation that I somehow missed Edward's footsteps as he entered the kitchen. His smooth voice once again startled me.

"Nice flowers?" he said, though he raised the pitch at the end, making it sound more like a question. Slowly, I turned around to face him, my face instantly heating in response to how foolish I was not throw Jacob's tulips in the trash. Of course he'd want to know where the flowers came from, and I most certainly wasn't about to tell him the truth.

"Oh...um, yeah. I, uh...well I was out running errands today, you know the usual, and I just thought they were pretty so I picked them up at the market."

I watched Edward closely, careful to gauge his reaction. He looked content enough, barely even paying attention to my response as he walked closer to me, placing his hands on either side of my body, trapping me against the counter. When he realized I was finished, a light smile lit up his features as his eyes once again shined into mine.

"Is that supposed to be a hint?" There was humor, a playful banter hidden in his tone, and I wanted to play along, I wished I could play along, but I was too uptight and scared of losing everything.

"What?" I asked, my eyes slightly widening. "No, of course not! You certainly do enough for me already."

His soft chuckle eased some of my tension as he effortlessly slid his arms around my waist, pulling my body against his and delicately brushing his lips against the side of my neck. I could feel his soft stubble tickling my throat, filling me with a sense of comfort in his warmth for the first time in a long time.

I love this man.

I love him, and I'm betraying him.

None of it made any sense at all.

"Bella," he said against my skin. "I can never do enough for you. You deserve everything and more."

"Look," he continued, pulling an inch away from me to look into my eyes again. "I've been wanting to apologize to you for a while now."

"Apologize?" I asked, unable to hide my shock at his outrageous confession. If anyone should be doing any apologizing, it should be me.

"Yes," he said, taking both of my hands in his, tenderly rubbing my knuckles between his fingertips. "I know things with work have been crazy lately. I know I haven't been around as much, and we haven't been spending as much quality time together. Trust me, I hate every minute of it. I just...God, I wish I could tell you what's going on at work but policy says I have to keep it confidential, and it's killing me."

"Edward..." I began, shaking my head, "You don't have to apologize for that. I understand how it works and I-"

"I know you understand," he said, interrupting me while dropping my hands and reaching around me to grab the casserole dish to help to start setting the table. "But I just want you to know that it's difficult for me. You're the most important thing to me now, the most important thing to me ever, and I want to be able to tell you everything."

I stood motionless by the counter, letting his words sink in, trying to swallow my guilt and continue with my act, but he was making it more and more difficult. He was apologizing to me. Of course he was apologizing to me, because he's Edward, and he's amazing, and selfless, and he would never, ever in a million years hurt me the way that I was going to hurt him.

And I was going to hurt him. Maybe not today, tomorrow...maybe not even in a few months from now, but eventually he would have to find out. I couldn't keep this secret forever, could I?

"Hey, you okay?" he asked, suddenly in front of me again, his familiar hand reaching out and gently brushing against my right cheek.

"I'm fine," I said, snapping out of my inner turmoil and hurrying out of his reach to finish setting the table.

"Okay...well I just want you to know, regardless of my busy work schedule now, I promise you once this case is closed things are going to settle down. In a few weeks I'll be home more often and we'll have more time to spend together, planning the wedding and whatever else you would like."

It only took a moment for me to process his words, stopping me dead in my tracks, my body bending over the table to put down the salad bowl.

More time at home...more time at home meant less time with Jacob.

I should have been happy about it, should have been thrilled to get to spend more time with my fiance, but my heart was sinking, my stomach suddenly twisting and turning with nausea. I tried to push the feelings aside, tried to convince myself that this was a good thing. Maybe I was running off with Jacob because I was truly missing Edward and needing something to distract me? Perhaps once Edward was home more everything could go back to normal and I could put Jacob behind me, moving on and focusing on my future with the man of my dreams.

If Edward noticed any change in my behavior since his confession, he didn't show it. A few minutes later we were sitting in our typical seats across from one another, slowly eating our meal. Edward was talking to me about the only aspects of his job that he was allowed to reveal. I could vaguely remember hearing something about Emmett and Frank, another one of his coworkers, playing a prank on the vice president of his office. I was trying to pay attention, truly I was, but my mind was always wandering, focusing on Edward and Jacob and more time with one that equaled to less time with the other.

I was thinking about the painting room, remembering Jacob's laugh and his smile, the way his eyes lit up and exuded sincerity as he complimented me on my work. I was thinking about a time in my life when drawing and art meant everything to me, when I dared to dream and imagine a life with my work hanging in a museum or gracing the walls of an admirer, a buyer that felt what I felt when he or she looked at the different colors and lines that combined to form a work of beauty.

I could hear Edward's voice in the distance, could make out a few words and phrases, but my far off thoughts left them linger in the air unprocessed.

"Emmett laughed...the wall...laptop...it was crazy..." Edward was saying, bits and pieces of his life, of his work, of everything that I should have been listening to.

I finished chewing my small bite of salad, letting the Good Seasons Italian dressing flavor glide across my tongue, sliding back my throat as I swallowed.

Setting down my fork, and as if I had planned to say it all along, as if it were impossible for me to stop myself, I looked up at Edward, my eyes meeting his as he continued to speak, I opened my mouth and blurted, "I want to paint again."

The words rolled of my tongue natural and smooth, my eyes reflexively widening once I realized what I had done.

Edward stopped mid-sentence, his eyes narrowing slightly as he tried to assess my sudden interruption. I watched him closely, my chest rising and falling with nervous energy. His forehead wrinkled slightly in confusion, his head slightly tilting to the side as he processed my confession.

"Uh, okay?" he replied, questioning my outburst. "So then...paint."

"I'm afraid you don't understand," I said, my voice slightly shaking, and I couldn't help but wonder why I was so scared of admitting this to him, of admitting it to myself. "I don't just want to..._paint_. I mean...I really, _really_ miss it. Everything about it. I really want to get back into it..._all of it_."

"Okay," he said, nodding his head and smiling a little. "I can get you some more supplies and you can paint again," he added, looking back to his plate and taking another bite of food, brushing off my words as if they were a form of light conversation.

"No," I said a little too abruptly, causing him to swallow his food thickly and glance up at me again. "I don't just want supplies, Edward. I want to go back to school."

He stared at me in silence for a moment as if judging whether or not I was truly serious. Folding his napkin and setting it on the table, he shook his head in complete bewilderment and asked, "You're serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious," I said softly, barely able to find my voice.

"Bella, why on Earth would you want to do that? It would just take up all of your time, not to mention it is completely unnecessary," he replied, the tone of his voice giving away his inability to understand my motives. He didn't understand me anymore, or maybe he never did at all.

"Besides," he continued when I didn't reply right away. "You don't need a degree for a hobby, and I am perfectly capable of supplying you with everything you need."

I could barely hold back the frustrated tears that threatened to escape my hold as I dropped my eyes to the table and wished that I could take it all back, that I had never brought it up in the first place.

"It's not about that," I whispered in defeat. "I just wanted something that was my own."

The silence was deafening, and I could feel his eyes on me, could tell that he was examining me. I felt completely naked, exposed and bare, and I wanted to get up from the table, wanted to leave the house and go to a place, to a set of arms that could make me feel like myself again.

"Hey..." he said, his voice soft and gentle. I could hear his chair scrape against the ceramic floor as he stood to his feet and approached me. I could feel his warmth as he knelt down beside me and gingerly took my chin in his hands. I could sense his sincerity as he tilted my head in his direction, locking my eyes with his.

"I'm so sorry, baby," he said, leaning in and delicately kissing the tip of my nose. "I didn't realize it meant that much to you."

"It means everything to me," I said, my eyes watering, a few tears heating my face where they fell.

"Well then," he replied, wiping the moisture from my cheeks. "Look into a few schools in the area, find out all the details and we can discuss it further."

"Really?" I asked, barely able to believe what I was hearing. He was agreeing to letting me go back to school, agreeing to something I thought impossible.

"Of course," he said, standing to his feet again and grinning down at me. "I just want you to be happy."

"Oh, Edward!" I nearly yelled, jumping out of my seat and into his arms, showering him with kisses. "Thank you...thank you so much!"

He laughed in response to my enthusiasm, hugging my tightly before I backed out of his embrace.

"I love you," I said, suddenly very serious, looking directly into his eyes and hoping he'd feel that I was telling the truth, that he knew how happy he made me, especially in this moment.

"I love you, too," he said, kissing my forehead and turning away from me to start clearing the table. "Now let's get this cleaned up so we can do some art program research."

* * *

Lunchtime the following afternoon, I found myself once again parked out in the front of Jacob's house, sporting skinny jeans and a hoodie, loving that I could always be casual and comfortable around him. I got out of my Range Rover and crossed the street, my excitement to see him evident in the bounce of my step and the swinging of my keys from my fingertips. Before I could make it to the the front door, Jacob appeared in the entryway, stepping outside and running to meet me in the middle of his short sidewalk. A giant grin lit up his features as he rushed toward me, picking me up and planting kisses all over my face.

I felt giddy and ridiculous, unable to stop myself from giggling and squirming against the warmth of his body. "Jacob Black, we are in public," I said, but I didn't really care, being with him was enough to make me drunk to reality, especially when his actions were making it seem like he almost..._missed _me.

I felt his hands slide under the hem of my sweatshirt as he placed his lips beside my ear and breathed, "I don't care."

Just like that I was on fire, my body begging and pleading to be closer to him, to separate any barriers that dared to come between us.

Before I had a chance to seek out his lips with my own he pulled away, taking my hand and leading me inside of his home.

"Come on," he said excitedly before I had time to protest, and I couldn't help but to notice that he was definitely up to something, his enthusiasm contagious as he pulled me down his hallway and into his tiny kitchen.

Once inside, my eyes flashed to the table were Jacob was standing proudly, his hands extended as he said, "Voila!"

Two paper plates with turkey sandwiches, neatly cut in half and sitting side by side, paired with two small bags of potato chips and two cans of mountain dew, were waiting for us.

The gesture was so simple, yet so sweet, and my stomach instantly filled with butterflies as I looked back over in his direction, my eyes shining with gratitude.

"Wow, potato chips," I said jokingly, trying to hide how truly touched I was, not yet ready to cross over into the true intimacy I was feeling in that moment. "You shouldn't have."

"Hey, you should be proud I didn't get the generic kind," he said through a toothy grin, walking back over to me and ruffling my hair. "I went all out for you, baby!"

Even though I know he didn't mean it, and even though I knew he was just joking around, I couldn't help the small scarlet coloring that suddenly flowed into my cheeks, my face was heating in response to his term of endearment.

He had called me baby and the only thing I could think of was how I wanted him to say it again and again, and dangerously enough, I never wanted him to say it to anyone else but me.

* * *

We had just sat down to eat the lunch that Jacob prepared when a quick knock rapped at the front door. I turned to him in confusion about to ask if he was expecting someone, but just as I was about to open my mouth to speak, the sound of footsteps echoed down the hallway followed by a somewhat familiar and intimidating voice.

"Gah, I fucking hate pretentious people. Some bitch parked her fucking Range Rover in my-"

Jake's sister walked into the kitchen, cutting off mid-sentence as her eyes flashed between Jacob and I. I finally put a face to the familiar voice while I was instantly reminded of a time not so long ago when I let my jealously and possessive nature get the best of me.

"Oh, hi," she said awkwardly, walking over to lean against the counter as she assessed our actions. "I didn't realize you had company."

She was looking at Jake expectantly, and I suddenly felt extremely awkward and out of place, as if I shouldn't be here, as if I should have never been here at all.

"Leah," Jake greeted her through a grin as he stood to his feet, gently gabbing my right hand as he led me around the table and over to the daunting woman. I studied her closely, noticing the similarities between them that gave way to the fact that they shared a part of the same genetic code. Leah's eyes were set deep just like Jacob's, her hair shined a brilliant black, laying nicely against her skin, the slight hint of russet that made Jacob's complexion so beautiful. She was gorgeous and fierce, her confidence pouring out in the prominence of her stance and the fire in her eyes. How could I have mistaken this woman as his girlfriend? How could I have not seen the resemblance sooner? I felt like an idiot.

"Bella, this is Leah, my bitch of a sister," he said gesturing between us, and I could hear the humor in his tone, could sense that they were close and loyal, a family bond that could never be broken. "Leah, this is my girlfriend, Bella."

My eyes automatically widened as they darted to Jacob. I was stunned and slightly taken aback by his introduction. _Girlfriend_?

Quickly snapping out of my stupor, I extended my free hand in Leah's direction, stating somewhat distractedly, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Mmmhmm," Leah hummed, her eyes studying my hand closely before taking it in her own. I glanced down a second too late to realize what had caught her attention. Edward's brilliant diamond engagement ring shined up between us, contrasting with the mix of creamy white and beautiful brown. Quickly snatching my hand away and carefully hiding it safely behind my hip, I smiled nervously and cleared my throat.

"I wish I could say that I heard so much about you," she said looking at Jake pointedly, "but Jake here doesn't seem to be too inclined on giving me much insight into his newest relationship."

I shuffled my feet nervously, careful to look at everything else in the room except her. Did she know that I was engaged to someone else, or did she think that Jake and I were engaged and he just didn't tell her?

"Did I happen to mention that even though my sister is extremely intrusive and nosey, completely unable to mind her own business," Jake said, releasing my hand and putting his arm companionably around Leah's shoulder, squeezing it affectionately, "we somehow find it in our hearts to love her."

"Ha-ha," she replied, squirming out of his embrace and walking over to the table to take a bite of the remainder of his sandwich. "So brother dearest, why wasn't I invited to lunch?" she asked with a mouthful of food.

"Because sister _dearest_," Jake mocked her exact words, "this was supposed to be for Bella and I, you know, as in she and I and _no _one else. What brings you here on this fine day, anyway?"

I watched the exchange between them, feeling it warm my heart and bring a light smile to my face. This moment, this experience seemed so natural and normal, as if Jacob and I could be freely together as a couple, as if we were in a ordinary relationship where I could meet his sister and eat lunch at his house without consequence or guilt.

Leah just sighed and sat down at the table, her smile slowly fading as she put down the sandwich and ran her hand gently through her onyx tresses.

The content and light-hearted atmosphere surrounding the room seconds ago had disappeared along with her smile, her sudden change in demeanor causing my heart to quicken in a sense of fear. I peered over to Jacob to find that his face now reflected a similar expression to hers, worry lines corrupting his forehead as he cautiously sat down across from her and swallowed thickly. I stood beside them, unsure of exactly what to do or say, unsure of what exactly was going on.

"It's dad, isn't it?" Jacob finally asked, his voice stricken with a sense of sorrow I have never experienced from him before. My heart sank to my stomach as a million explanations raced through my mind.

"He's fine," Leah replied unconvincingly, her eyes now focusing out the kitchen window. I didn't know anything about her, but in that moment I could sense that she was trying to be strong, hiding her emotions because she most likely wasn't the type of girl to cry in front of an audience. "He's sick again, but the doctors said he should be out in a few days."

"He's in the hospital?" Jake asked, suddenly angry, shooting up to his feet again. "Why didn't anyone call me? Why didn't you tell me right away?"

"Jake," she spat, her eyes darting back to his. "I said he's fine. I didn't call you because I just found out myself a few hours ago. Dad said he didn't want to worry us, you know how stubborn he can be."

She was smiling again while rolling her eyes, and I felt like I could breathe again. I didn't know Jacob's father, but any family of Jacob was important to me, anything that was special to him was special to me.

"You're sure he's going to be okay?" Jake asked her, the frantic tone of his voice evidence of just how much he cared for his father.

"Well he's already back to cracking his usual jokes," Leah said through a chuckle, and Jake finally relaxed, his shoulders sinking as the tension visibly flowed out of them and a light laugh released from his own mouth.

"I have work tonight, but I'll probably stop in and see him tomorrow. Do they know how long he'll be in?" he asked her, as I felt more and more uncomfortable, like I was somehow intruding on this personal moment between them. I didn't know if I should leave or stay, wasn't sure how to deal with such a touchy subject with Jacob yet.

"Dad said the doctors aren't sure, hopefully not too long this time," she said. "We really can't afford another huge hospital bill. We barely paid off the last one."

He had more than one hospital stay? My mind was racing, I and was thinking the worst, my thoughts instantly targeting cancer, or maybe even heart failure. I felt my heart rate pick up again as I pictured my father, his amiable smile and his ridiculous knock-knock jokes, and I suddenly felt extremely guilty for taking his health for granted. I rarely spoke to Charlie, maybe once a month on the phone, if that, and haven't seen him since Christmas.

"Don't worry about that," Jake automatically replied to Leah. "I'll take care of it."

"The last one?" I suddenly asked, realizing I had spoken it out loud,instantly wishing I could take it back. It was none of my business, a matter between Jacob and his sister, and I had the audacity to interrupt their private conversation.

"I'm sorry," I said, covering my mouth and feeling like a moron.

"No, it's okay," Jake replied to me in a soft voice, and I could tell that he was trying to keep his composure, but I knew his expressions well enough at this point to realize that all of this was tearing him up inside. Whatever was going on with his father was definitely taking a toll on him. "Remember how I told you about the car accident that he and my mom were in, the one that left my dad paralyzed?"

I simply nodded my head even though that had slipped my mind with everything else that had been going on. I was sneaking a careful glance in Leah's direction to find that she was listening to us intently, obviously curious about me and my role in Jacob's life.

"Well it affects his immune system, too. He gets really sick pretty often. I mean, usually it's no big deal, he just stays in bed for a few days until he feels better, but lately he has needed more intensive care."

"I'm so sorry," I said, feeling so small and hopeless, like a complete idiot because those were the most profound three words I could conjure up to say. Here I was, sharing a carefree lunch date with a man that I was beginning to realize I cared immensely about. I have been completely selfish this entire time, only ever thinking of myself and how complicated this entire situation was for me, and for Edward, and for the life that we are supposed to share. And then there's Jacob, working his ass off in school, balancing both an education and a part-time job, while managing to fit in time to care for his father who clearly needs his help and support. And yet, despite all of that emotional and physical energy on his plate, he still chose to spend his free time with me. I saw him nearly everyday. I thought about him nearly every second. How often did he think of me? How much more of his emotional energy did I require? In that moment, I quickly came to the realization that I was extremely lucky to be with him at all, that I was more than fortunate to be here with him today, and that I have been nothing but fully selfish for ever thinking that he didn't have a whole other life that contained worries of his own.

"You know, Bella," Leah said, chiming in and bringing me out of my inner contemplations. "You should stop by with Jake tomorrow. I'm sure dad would love to meet you."

"That's really not necessary," Jacob answered before I had a chance to process Leah's request.

_Meeting Jacob's father..._

It was a big step, a dangerous one, a step that once taken could never be reversed.

"No, of course it is," I said, reaching over and taking Jake's hand in my own while squeezing it. "I would love to meet him. I would love to go tomorrow."

His eyes shot to mine as he studied me closely, silently questioning me before openly asking, "Really?"

"Sure," I said as I nodded my head, peeking at Leah out of the corner of my eye. Something about the way she was just staring at me, watching and waiting, listening to everything I said and did, made me uneasy.

"Great!" Leah replied, clasping her hands together and gulping down the rest of Jacob's sandwich. "It's settled then! Bella, why don't you walk me out?"

I glanced at Jake uneasily, not quite sure why she extended me such a strange offer, and by the way she was watching me, I could only imagine the things she wanted to say to me once she got me in private.

Jake simply shrugged and nodded his head as if to say "Go on, what could it hurt?"

Before I had a chance to speak, Leah grabbed my hand and gently pulled me with her out into the hallway while saying, "C'mon."

Releasing my hand and walking a few steps in front of me, she opened the front door and gestured for me to go first. I followed her request, walking out into the chill of the early spring day and watching as she closed the door behind us. Wasting no time, she turned to face me almost immediately, her features stern and serious as she screamed superiority with her hands on her hips and a slight upward curve of her eyebrows.

"That's a nice diamond you got there," she said, tilting her head in my ring finger's direction. I gulped as I automatically realized her intentions for this particular altercation. Nervously fidgeting my hands, I once again placed them behind my back so the ring would be out of her view. _Out of sight, out of mind_. Unfortunately for me, that didn't seem to be the case in this situation.

"Thank you," I said hoarsely, clearing my throat and forcing myself to stand up straighter in order to feign comfort and ease.

"My brother didn't give it to you," she said, and it most definitely wasn't a question.

Suddenly the chill of the air turned into an inferno as the sun peeking out of the clouds instantly felt ten times hotter, my hoodie all too confining, and this walkway not wide enough for the two of us. Realizing that I couldn't get away with lying to her, and not wanting to piss her off further, I shook my head while dropping my eyes to the cracked cement.

I wasn't entirely sure what I was expecting her to do. It crossed my mind that she could definitely kick my ass if she really wanted to, and she could also most likely convince Jacob that I was a waste of his time and space, and that he shouldn't see me anymore. Of course, she would be right and that would have been exactly what I should have done in the first place, but I couldn't stand the thought of that now. I was in too deep, and not seeing him again would hurt me more than I could imagine.

"Don't hurt him, okay?" she asked instead, shocking me with the mild tone and gentle pleading nature of her voice. "He cares about you more than you think."

Without another word spoken, she turned and walked away, her footsteps lightly reverberating off the loose pieces of gravel of the pathway, leaving me to question everything that just happened.

_He cares about me more than I think? What was that supposed to mean?_

* * *

"Girlfriend, huh?" I asked Jake, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling his lips to mine. A half hour after Leah left me alone in the front of Jacob's house to sort through my issues, he and I were finally alone in his bedroom, the bedroom that I noticed right away had a very familiar drawing of the Holocaust Museum now hanging on the wall.

"Well that _is _what you are, right?" he asked, his voice sounding touchingly hopeful as he sweetly placed a few kisses on he side of my jaw, tasting and teasing me the way he knew I could never, ever resist.

"I didn't know...I mean..." I started to say, but my words were left unfinished as Jake laid me down on the center of his bed and crawled in between my open legs.

"Bella," he whispered, kissing me softly before backing slightly away to brush a piece of my unruly hair out of my eyes. "We both know what this is."

And just like that he spoke the words I had been feeling inside for the past few weeks out loud, as if it were the easiest thing in the world to do, as if it had no consequence or impossible notation.

I nodded, holding back my tears as I took his face in my hands, tracing the lines and contours with my fingertips as his eyes held onto mine and a tentative smile worked its way onto his mouth.

"You're going to meet my dad," he said, his smile growing wider, and my stomach flipped and flopped again as I came to the realization that this was going to make him happy, that I was capable of making him feel this way.

"I am," I said softly, a smile forming on my lips to mimic his own. "I hope that's okay."

"Oh it's more than okay," he said, releasing himself so that his body was flush against me, the weight and pressure of all of him against all of me creating a contrasting comfort and need inside of me that was more intense than I have ever felt before.

I knew I was falling in love with him.

The thought nearly took my breath away.

I didn't want to think anymore, completely tired of all contemplation, and was just ready to feel. I leaned up and brought my mouth to his again, letting the outside world fade away while just concentrating on the here and now, on what I wanted and what I so desperately needed.

I felt Jacob let go and melt into me further as our soft and delicate kisses soon turned into a passionate tango. Our hands were exploring rapidly with our bodies arching and grinding as we twisted and turned on top of his sheets, both of us giving and taking before I couldn't stand it anymore.

I reached between us, pulling at the hem of his shirt before he realized my intentions and helped me to remove it completely. Jacob's bare and heated skin beneath my fingertips was better than any kind of heaven on earth. I sighed into his mouth, our kissing continuing on and on, Jacob never reaching or making any kind of attempt to take it any further. Getting frustrated with our lack of progress, I took it into my own hands and began fumbling with my hoodie, trying to pull it up between our connected bodies.

Before I could make any actual headway, Jacob stilled my hands and my efforts, his body slightly shaking against mine as he chuckled.

"Bella, will you please quit trying to undress yourself?" he asked, nuzzling his nose into the crook of my neck before rolling off of me while situating himself on his side with his head rested on his hand, facing me

Feeling my forehead wrinkle in confusion, I turned my head in his direction with my chest rising and falling through heavy spurts of my breathing, I replied, "Isn't that what you want?"

His face splitting in a smile again, he shook his head and reached for me, tucking me comfortably into his side. "What I want is to lay here with you for the remaining hour that we have before you have to go," he answered, his breath ruffling my hair as he spoke.

Snuggling up against him further and running my fingers over the heated skin of his chest, I realized I could get used to this. The dynamics were changing between us and I could feel our relationship, our meetings and our conversations, turning into something that was bigger and more powerful than either of us could control.

I was ecstatic and terrified, wanting to lay in his arms forever while wishing I had never fell into this situation in the first place. My emotions were conflicting and completely erratic, but I knew I was in too deep and there was no going back now.

For the first time since we met, sex was not the driving factor of our meeting, and the mere thought of that scared the living shit out of me.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Once again, I apologize for the long lapse of time between updates. Here's what's new in my life in a nutshell:

I got hitched, honeymooned in Disney and met Jasmine (double exclamation points), came home and moved into my new cozy cottage, interviewed for about 8 jobs and got 7 of them, am scheduled to take my Occupational Therapy Boards on July 17th, and finally got the funds to fly down to Mississippi to hang out my my beta and lover of my online existence, **my hubby is no edward**!

Life is hectic, but it's certainly fabulous! Married life is better than I ever imagined, and needless to say, writing time is limited. I missed you all! So glad to be here and back in business!

P.S. If it wasn't for **my hubby is no edward**'s constant pushing and encouragement, this chapter would have never been written! Thank her for being so awesome and go check out her story "What's Lust Got to Do with It" and her one-shot, "Voyeuristic Rendezvous."


	10. Going Too Far

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight related. Of course, that fabulous world belongs to Stephenie Meyer. **

**I just enjoy making Bella do ridiculous things.**

** Hello to all the new readers and thank you to all of the old, especially those who put up with me and my outrageous delays between updates. **

**No excuse.**

**

* * *

**

**Seventh Inning Stretch**

**Chapter 10: Going Too Far**

The rain was pounding steadily against my living room bay window as I perched myself on Edward's over-sized couch with a wedding magazine in hand. I was supposed to be planning this big event, concentrating on the white dress I would wear as I walked down the aisle, committing myself completely to one man and one man only. I knew I could never focus on any of this, on my relationship or my future with my stomach in knots as my mind continuously flashed images of yesterday at Jacob's house though my head.

What in the hell was I thinking?

Clearly I wasn't thinking at all, haven't been since the day he stepped into my life and changed everything I ever thought about myself and what I wanted and needed to make me happy.

I was going to meet his father...his sick father, and that was a big step-_a huge step_-in the wrong direction.

A loud knock at the front door brought me out of my inner reflections as I not-so-gracefully rolled off the sofa, my knees hitting the hardwood floor with a bang. Standing to my feet while rubbing the ache out of them, I was just about to go answer the door when I heard a familiar trot of high-heeled stilettos approach my direction.

"Bella?" Rosalie's voice carried along the walls as she turned the corner and found me standing in the middle of the living room.

"Rose," I greeted her, not at all surprised by her unexpected visit. This particular incident was a common occurrence with both of us being home by ourselves all week long. She was always visiting during the day, both of us going out on lunch dates, shopping trips, or wedding planning events.

"Oh my God," she said, curling up her nose and placing her hands firmly on her perfectly curved hips. "What in the hell do you call that?"

"Um, what?" I asked, looking around in confusion as I tried to determine what she was referring to.

"You're clothes!" she nearly shouted, a horrified expression on her face. "You look awful!"

"Gee, thanks," I replied, not at all offended. Rose was always trying to help improve my dress code. For a long time, I caved in and tried to dress the part of Edward's fiance, living in a perfect house with a perfect wardrobe. Now, I found comfort in my new found Independence and freedom.

"There is nothing wrong with these clothes. They're just...slightly old..._vintage_," I added, defending my favorite pair of jeans and tee as I looked down to inspect them while tugging at the edge of my Abercrombie shirt.

"Vintage?" Rose asked through a snorted laugh.

"That' right," I said, jokingly shoving past her, listening to her clank as she followed me into the kitchen.

Of course, she was dressed to the max, in an outrageously short mini dress that only someone with her confidence and stature could pull off. It didn't matter how minute or obscure our plans were for the day, Rose was never one to leave the house without looking like she stepped out of the latest edition of _Vogue_. She was intimidating and unapproachable on the outside, only because of her outstanding beauty and poise. However, she was nothing of what her looks implied. Surprisingly enough, I often heard of her to be considered "one of the guys." It was impossible to pull her away from a television if a football or hockey game was playing, and she could hold her own against Emmett whenever they'd lovingly wrestle. Her inner self was a complete contradiction from her outer aura, and that's what I loved about her most. She never failed to surprise me, everyday with her was always a blast, and I knew if things went sour with Edward, I would never forgive myself for losing her as a best friend.

"So, what shall we do on this lovely Friday afternoon?" she asked, walking over to my watermelon-colored fruit bowl and stealing an apple. I watched her a little too closely as she took a small bite into the fruit's skin, hearing the familiar crunch that typically accompanied such an action. I was trying not to panic, trying to steady my thoughts and focus on conjuring up an appropriate excuse to give my future sister-in-law as to why I could not spend the afternoon in her company.

"Okay," she said pointedly, her eyebrows arching perfectly as she assessed me with a knowing glint in her eyes. "What are you hiding?"

I internally cursed myself for my consistent failure to conceal anything from her. As much as she was confident and a ball of fire, she was also equal parts intuitive. She didn't miss much.

I opened my mouth to say something as she impatiently tapped her left foot while egging me on with a smooth, "mmmhmm?"

"Why would you even suggest I'm hiding something?" I asked, turning my back to her to busy myself with the contents on the kitchen counter. For some reason, the various knives suddenly needed rearranged inside the cutlery board.

"Um, probably because of your odd behavior for the last week or so," she replied, sashaying over to the kitchen table. I turned back around just in time to catch her examining the tulips Jacob brought me. "I stopped by Tuesday and Wednesday, and you weren't home."

"I'm sorry," I said, unable to stop myself from picturing the face of the man responsible for my absence on those particular afternoons. "I've just been...busy."

"Too busy for your best friend?" she asked, but instead of waiting for my response, she gestured her head toward the flowers. "Edward stepping up his game or what?" We both knew he wasn't much of a romantic flowers and chocolates guy. Now, a diamond necklace or genuine pearl earrings, a completely different story.

""Uh, yeah, I guess," I said through a nervous stint of laughter. "Although he wouldn't have any reason to, of course," I immediately added. "I mean, it's not like he has any competition or anything. Yeah, definitely no one else trying to fight for my attention...so...um..."

I shut my mouth sharply, realizing my unfortunate curse of severe word vomit at the most inopportune times had yet to be outgrown.

"Mmmhmmm," she said again, in the same velvety tone as before as she took another bite out of her Red Delicious apple. With her mouth full, she added an astute, "I see."

"Yeah, so anyway." My remark was abrupt, but I was trying to change the subject. "I'm sorry but once again, Ms. Busy Bella is not free to parade around town this afternoon. I have plans...plans with...er... Angela. Yeah, plans with her...and she said she needs to talk to me about something personal, or else, you know, I'd invite you to come with us."

"Yeah, okay," Rose quipped, her mouth turning down in a slight frown while she continuously assessed my clearly bizarre behavior. "I can take a hint when I'm not wanted around."

"Oh c'mon," I offered, wishing she wouldn't take offense because little did she know, my afternoon plans had nothing to do with her and everything to do with a certain man I couldn't get off of my mind. "You know how Ang is, you two really don't have anything in common anyway, and you said it yourself, she's a little too crazy...even for you."

"Dude," she exclaimed, her eyes flashing again as she trotted over to the trash can and pressed the open button with the tip of her peach-colored stilettos. "That girl _is_ crazy!"

I knew I was finally out of the deep end of the water.

The familiar tune of my phone caught my attention just as I was about to excuse myself from Rosalie's company for the day. She smiled at me as I left the kitchen, following the faint sound into the living room as it continued to grow louder and louder. I picked the Blackberry out from between the couch cushions and scanned the screen to find Jacob's number staring back at me.

_Bad, bad timing._

I looked over my shoulder to discover that Rose, sure enough, had followed me in my search. Internally gulping, I picked up the phone and with the most natural and nonchalant greeting I could offer in such circumstances, I said, "Hello?"

"Bella," he verified, sounding slightly relieved, his voice also etched with something else entirely, something that was making my heart sink.

"Is everything okay?" I instinctively asked, suddenly unmindful to the fact that I wasn't alone.

"It's my dad," he said quietly. I could hear some sort of hustle and bustle in the background, a beeping and a few voices, and I started to panic.

"What's going on?" I asked, the frantic nature in my voice giving way to my concern.

"I'm at the hospital," he replied, solidifying my suspicions as I took a few steps farther away from Rosalie, trying to earn myself some privacy. "He took a turn for the worse this morning, they say he's stable now, though, so that's good, right?"

He sounded unconvinced, scared and alone, and I knew that he needed me, he needed someone to be there for him.

"Of course that's good," I said, reassuringly, dropping my voice slightly, hoping that I didn't have an audience. "Do you...I mean, I can be there in a few minutes if you want?"

"Look," he said softly, "don't feel like you have to, I was just calling because I needed to talk to someone. I've been here since seven and it can be pretty exhausting."

"What room?" I asked.

"305."

"I'll be right there," I said, hanging up the phone before he could try to change my mind.

I slowly turned, Rose looking at me expectantly as I shrugged and dismissed her, grabbing my purse and searching around the foyer for my sneakers.

"I have to go," I informed her, speaking the obvious.

"That was Angela," I lied, locating one sneaker as I hopped on one foot, trying to pull it on in a hurry while nearly losing my balance and toppling over.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, she's fine," I said, grabbing my other sneaker from beneath a pile in the closet and struggling to pull it on as well. "I'll call you later."

"Okay." She wasn't convinced, but I didn't have the time to dwell on the consequences.

Jacob needed me.

He needed me, and in that moment, that was the only thing that mattered.

* * *

I was never a big fan of hospitals. In fact, if I were to make a list of my top ten least favorite things, hospitals would be close to number one. I couldn't get passed the distinct eucalyptus-latex odor that accompanied me on such visits as this one. The constant beeping and paging over the loud speaker made me uneasy as I often tried to determine what each of the color codes meant that were being referred to. Regardless of the nature of my visit, whether it would be a happy occasion in light of the birth of a new addition to the Swan family, or a dreadful one, such as today's visit to Jacob's sick father, I never felt in my element. The moment I stepped through the giant revolving front doors into the grandiose lobby, my blood pressure spiked and my hair stood up on my arms in response to the chill that shot down my spine.

It was probably a normal reaction, to feel on edge and unnerved, but knowing that I wasn't alone didn't provide me with much comfort. However, on this particular visit, as I approached the hallway that would lead me to the elevators, Jacob turned the corner before I had the chance, and instead of the typical discomfort, my body filled with an uncharacteristic sense of relaxation and ease. His face, at first solemn and distraught, instantly lit up and changed course entirely once his eyes locked with mine.

He closed the space between us quickly, scooping me up in his arms and nuzzling his nose into the crook of my neck as he breathed me in. "I'm so happy you're here."

"Me too," I remarked, feeling my feet come in contact with the floor as I tried to gain my equilibrium again.

"I would have been here sooner," I offered, suddenly feeling slightly timid, "you know, had I known..."

_Was this alright? Was I caring too much? Too little?_

"I don't doubt you," he said through a relaxed smile, and I wasn't sure what to expect when I walked through the hospital doors, but I knew this wasn't it. I knew I wasn't prepared to feel this way about him, for Jake to be so calm and collected, so happy to see me.

Without saying another word, he laced his hand with mine as if it were the most natural thing on Earth and escorted me to the elevators, pushing the button while we both stood, waiting patiently.

"Door number three." His interruption into our silence was unexpected.

"What?" I asked, a confused expression on my face.

"The elevator that will open first," he explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Door number three, that's my guess. Yours?"

"How am I supposed to know?" I replied. His confidence in the accuracy of his guess was making it hard to keep my laughter at bay.

"That's why it's a guess," he said, playfully nudging my shoulder with his own. "If I guess right, you have to come over later. If you guess right...well, you have to bring me dinner."

"Hmm, now that seems like a lose-lose situation for me," I informed him, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"Or a win-win, depending on how you look at it," he clarified, wrapping his arms around the base of my waist and pulling me into him. His lips were inches from mine when the chime of the third elevator echoed in the corridor, stealing our attention.

"Oh yeah," he said in celebration of his win before kissing me lightly, taking my hand and tugging me inside with him. "I'm two for two today."

I rolled my eyes while shaking my head, his playfulness infectious. "Lucky guess."

"Oh yeah? Is that what you think?" he asked as the heavy doors closed, leaving us alone inside. He wasted no time taking advantage of our solitude as he backed me against the steel wall, his lips finding mine and taking my breath away.

"Jacob," I managed to breathe against him as I wedged my hands between our connected bodies to gently push him a few centimeters away. "This is hardly the place to get carried away."

"Who said anything about getting carried away?" he countered, his hands finding their way around to my back, slowly sliding down...down...down until he worked them into the waist of my jeans, the heat of his touch connecting with my bare flesh.

I giggled and squirmed against him, trying to pull out of his embrace, but it was no use, I could never escape him, and I didn't really want to.

Once again, the elevator doors chimed as they opened up to the third floor, interrupting our private bubble to reveal an impatient Leah.

"Oh for the love of God." She raised her eyebrows and assessed our current positioning as I finally freed myself from Jacob's embrace and awkwardly smoothed my shirt.

"Sister dearest," Jake greeted her, not at all phased by the amorous encounter we were just caught in. We stepped off the elevator and traded places with her as he asked, "How's dad?"

"Clearly not as content as his only son," she replied, her amusement evident in the nature of her grin.

I felt hot and flushed, my cheeks burning and tingling as I tried not to be seen. God, how classless to make out in the elevator inside the hospital that currently boarded the sick father of your mate.

"Did he eat his lunch?" Jake asked, his smile slowly dissolving as his concern for his father's health took over.

"Every last bite" she said, as the doors slowly started to close and separate us. "Oh, and he can't wait to meet you, Bella," she managed to get in before she was shut off from us completely.

"Is she always so...?" I started to ask, turning toward Jake while waving my hands through the air as I tried to come up with the right adjective to describe his sister.

"Bitchy?" he asked through a smirk, placing his hand on my lower back to direct me toward his father's room. "Yes."

"I wasn't going to say that...not exactly." I frowned slightly, my body unconsciously leaning into him, always trying to get closer. I didn't think Leah was a bitch. Not necessarily. In my eyes, she was just a tough girl that cared about her family enough to look out for her little brother. If I were in her, I'd probably react the same way.

"It's okay," he offered, sliding his hand down, sneaking it inside the back pocket of my jeans. "Now this," he added, gently squeezing, "I like."

His affection was totally unexpected, causing me to squirm and shuffle against him, the ineffectiveness of my escape only humoring him further.

I was so caught up in him, so caught up in the way his touch made me feel, that I completely failed to realize we were very much in public. Just as we were about to turn the corner to enter into Billy's room, I caught the eye of a couple of nurses by the care station, gawking at us incredulously and whispering in each other's ears. Somehow I doubted I was very successful at keeping our relationship inconspicuous.

Before I had time to truly process what was happening or prepare myself for what I would say when meeting Billy Black, we were walking inside the small room, the walls a boring shade of beige and the TV the only background noise next to Billy's chatter with one of his nurses. I watched him closely, the large man sitting on the only occupied twin bed with his features clearly fatigued, providing me with no question as to where Leah got her genetics. Jake, on the other hand, must resemble his mother. Physically, so to speak, because a second after the thought entered my mind, Billy was cracking the young nurse a big smile, clearly flirting with her while enjoying her company. Jake may not outwardly reflect his father's features next to the dark skin and shiny black hair, but I could blatantly understand where he got his jovial disposition.

Upon noticing our entrance, the nurse promptly excused herself, turning Billy's attention to us with no other distractions. I could feel my heart beating furiously against my rib cage as I tried to calm myself down and prayed that my hands wouldn't be too grotesquely sweaty if he happened to shake one of them.

Jake wasted no time, taking my hand and guiding my over to his bedside, introducing me simply as 'Bella' with no other title attached.

I wasn't sure what I expected from this man, the father of the guy that I was..._seeing. _I didn't know what he would do or say in response to my presence at his hospital bed. However, what I did know was I that I wasn't expecting him to react the way that he did. He accepted me almost immediately, opening up to me with a genuine smile on his face. He took my hand in his, sweat and all, and enveloped me in his warmth. Instantly, I felt at ease, felt like this is where I belonged.

"Bella," he spoke my name a second time, this time his eyes shining as he gently released me from his grasp. "It's such a pleasure to finally meet someone that my son has taken interest in."

I was a little embarrassed by our exchange, feeling my face heat with Jake's presence close behind me. This wasn't normal waters for us to be treading in, and I wasn't quite sure how I was supposed to act.

"I'm sure I'm not the first girl you've met," I replied, trying to cover up my discontent.

Jake, stepping up before his father had a chance to respond, wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder before saying, "But you are."

My face only flushed more in response to his words, and Billy chuckled while shaking his head from side to side. "I never though this day would come," he said through his laughter. "I was beginning to think Jacob might be gay."

_No, definitely not gay._

"Dad," Jake said abruptly, releasing me and purposely running a hand through his silky hair.

That's when I realized he was nervous. He seemed just ever-so-slightly out of his element, and I may have found it endearing if I wasn't so taken aback by what this knowledge meant for me. Was I truly the first girl he ever brought to meet his family?

The thought alone made my heart leap. My stomach felt weightless.

We spoke with Billy for quite some time, getting the basics out of the way. He asked me several questions about my family, my life, and what I did to earn a living. I was proud to declare that I was planning on going back to art school, feeling satisfied that I finally had something I could call my own, something that didn't rely on someone else's paychecks or false hopes and dreams. After I described my plans to Billy, I caught Jacob watching me out of the corner of my eye, his eyes intense and questioning my actions. It occurred to me that I forgot to mention art school to him. I knew we'd be having that discussion later.

A little after two o'clock, Leah poked her head into the room and claimed that she was heading to the cafeteria to grab some food. Feeling a little claustrophobic in the tiny space, I offered to accompany her and help bring back snacks for Billy and Jacob.

Leah and I walked side by side in silence to the cafeteria, the elevator ride awkward and longer than what seemed possible. As soon as we entered into the wide open area, the scent of hamburger and fried food filling the air, she broke the silence by asking me what I wanted. After informing her that I didn't really care, she simply shrugged her shoulders and guided me over toward a long line of doctors, nurses, and other hospital employees with suits and ties that seemed to be waiting for the salad bar.

The silence was starting to eat away at me, and I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking about, if she was thinking about me, what she ever thought about me. Did she hate me? I wouldn't blame her if she did. I'd hate me if I were in her shoes.

"So..." I said to the back of her head, clearing my throat to break the tension. "Billy looks good, I think he's feeling a lot better."

"Yep," she said, not bothering to turn around and face me. She shuffled on her feet and crossed her arms in front of her chest in frustration.

"Is this line ever going to move?" she asked to no one in particular.

"I...I'm not sure," I replied, even though I knew her question was very much rhetorical.

I heard her sigh loudly as she continued to ignore me.

A few seconds later, realizing she wasn't about to initiate any kind of conversation, I piped up again. "Hospitals were never my thing. I just can't stand the way they smell, you know? They kind of creep me out to be completely honest," I said, forcing a fake laugh to try to lighten the atmosphere around us. "Like, did you ever see that movie where the girl is stuck in a hospital and-"

"Look," she suddenly blurted, whipping around to finally face me. Her eyes were dark and intense, her expression fierce. "_To be completely honest, _I don't like you. Not at all. I don't like the fact that you're here, in my father's good graces, in my brother's life, when you very clearly have a whole other life of your own.

"I don't like the way my brother looks at you. I mean, do you even notice? Do you even see it at all? Because, I do. I can't miss it, and I can't ignore it. I'm not sure what you're intentions are with him, but I think that his intentions for you are VERY clear."

She stood tall and confident, tapping her foot and waiting for my response as I tried to wrap my mind around everything that she just accused me of. Of course, she was right. I did have a whole other life of my own, but what she didn't understand was that I so desperately wanted to fit in with this one. I so desperately wanted to answer her questions, to let her know my intentions, but I couldn't even figure them out for myself.

"I...I'm sorry," I eventually replied, my voice weak and my face flushed. "I really want to be truthful with you."

"You have every right to hate me," I continued, when she didn't show any signs of responding. "I would hate me if I were you. And...I just, I wish I could give you a clear answer. I wish I could tell you what I hope to get out of this whole situation, but the truth is that I'm just as confused as you are."

The line slowly began to move. We followed, but Leah never broke eye contact with me. I realized that my explanation wasn't good enough and she was waiting for me to elaborate.

I sighed and nervously picked at my fingernails before continuing. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I realize what you must think of me, what you must think of someone capable of juggling two different relationships for reasons that must be selfish. I just...I wish I could convince you, convince everyone, that this isn't me. I'm not that girl...I'm not the kind of person to destroy lives."

"Yeah?" she asked with a sarcastic edge, clearly not buying into what I was offering. I wasn't surprised. I had no idea how to explain how all of this happened. How did I end up here?

"I woke up one morning and my whole life was changed," I managed to say, my voice dropping, my head dipping in my shame. "I thought I could put it behind me, could forget it happened and move on with Edward-"

"Edward?" she interrupted. "So, that's his name."

I realized my mistake all too late, wanting to kick myself in the shin for letting his name slip. "Yeah, that's him," I admitted through a soft sigh. I ran various scenarios through my head of Leah tracking him down, telling him how I betrayed him, how I wasn't the women he thought he was marrying. Even though I didn't know her all that well, I somehow knew she wouldn't be the type of girl to step in and ruin everything for me.

"And, you're planning on marrying this man?" Leah asked, her voice softer, sounding genuinely curious.

"I don't know what I'm planning anymore," I confessed. "I'm so confused about everything, about my feelings and what I'm supposed to do. How can I work this out without hurting someone? I have no idea how I can put a stop to all of this, or if I even want to."

It did occur to me how ludicrous it was that I was pouring my heart and secrets out to Jacob's only sister, but I was so desperate to let someone else know everything that I was thinking and feeling, so desperate to take part of my guilt and the weight I carried on my shoulders and pass it along. I needed someone else to tell me what to do. I needed another person to keep me from going crazy.

"Well, you obviously can't keep this up forever," Leah eventually replied, as the line moved forward enough for her to grab a plate and start piling Italian lettuce on it.

"I know that," I said quietly, grabbing a plate of my own along with an extra for Jacob. "Of course I know that."

We were both silent, lost in thoughts all our own as we both filled our plates, grabbing extra pasta salad and bags of chips for the guys. A few minutes later we were all paid up and once again walking side-by-side back to the room, trays in hand.

"Jacob really seems to be okay with this," Leah said to me the moment the elevator doors closed around us.

"Uh, yeah," I said, feeling a little uncomfortable with where the conversation seemed to be heading. "I guess he is?"

"I just don't understand how," she said, slightly shaking her head in disbelief.

"I don't know how he feels," I replied, and I guess I was hoping that because she was his sister, because she seemed so close to him, she might know more about what he thinks and feels than I do. Maybe it would be possible for her to fill me in, to give me a little insight.

"He's always so guarded," I added.

I watched her closely for a moment as a fraction of silence extended between us. I waited patiently, hoping she'd latch onto the bait I left hanging. Finally, she glanced in my direction, and she must have noticed the curious expression on my face, because she instantly shook her head enthusiastically while saying, "Oh no, no you don't. I'm not saying a word. You have to ask him about his feelings yourself."

At that opportune moment, the elevator doors swung open, and we both stepped out and started walking in the direction of Billy's room. I thought our conversation was over, locked behind the steel walls of the elevator, but just before we reached the turn for Room 305, Leah stopped walking and turned to face me once again. She looked a little anxious or maybe she just felt rushed, but her eyes darted all over my face as if she were trying to memorize the way I look ed and map it away for a later date. She made me feel self-conscious and out of place, awkward and scrutinized.

"Bella," she said, looking more and more uncomfortable. "I just want you to know that while I don't like what you're doing, and that I don't agree with it at all, I'm happy that he found someone to make him smile. If he's okay with pretending for a little while, then I guess I can do that, too."

Before I had a chance to respond, she was already two steps ahead of me and walking through the hospital room door. Yet again, Leah Black left me speechless.

A few minutes later, the three of us were sitting around Billy's bedside with small lap trays, eating our snacks while Billy told me stories from Jacob and Leah's childhood. He talked about Jake's mom, which I discovered her name was Sarah and she hated the color purple. She would never wear it, would never dress her children in it, and refused to buy anything for the house remotely close to it. I listened intently to Billy's recollections as I sat back and let myself truly relax, getting caught up in the experience with Jacob and his family, and almost...for one fragment in time...forgetting that I was a whole other girl with a whole other life, belonging to someone else back at home.

Before Jake and I left a little after 4, Billy invited me to come down to his home for one of his famous fish fries. He was so enthusiastic and sincere, it was hard for me to say no even though everything in my mind was screaming at me to run away from this, screaming at me that I was going too far and I was diving in too deep. I agreed, and Jake only pulled me closer, smiling down at me and kissing me softly on the head, his eyes alight with..._something_.

* * *

Jacob Black was never one to let up on a bet, even if the stipulations weren't entirely fair to begin with. I found myself at his place that Friday evening, cooking him dinner in his kitchen, on his old, creaky stove, with my lie to Edward tucked safely away in the history of my cell phone's outgoing calls.

Poor Angela had no idea how busy she was with me these last few weeks.

We didn't make it all the way through our dinner of spaghetti and meat sauce, only finishing half of our meal before Jake was scooping me up from my seat at the table and carrying me to his bedroom.

Afterward, I was lying in his arms, my head resting delicately on his chest as I listened to the steady sound of his beating heart. We were both quiet, but it was a comfortable silence, and I was so caught up in him and the sudden warmth that filled my heavy heart as I tried to make sense of what was happening between us. I wanted to be with him, and not just for a little while. I wanted to learn everything about him and make him laugh and make him smile, make him look at me and see a girl that he knew wouldn't break his heart. I wanted so many things that I knew were foolish to consider, so many things that were impossible to hope for, to dream of.

"Thank you," Jake said softly, his breath ruffling the hair on the top of my head as I felt the warmth of him as he left me a tiny kiss there. "I really appreciate what you did for me today. It meant a lot to me."

Without saying a word, I turned myself in his arms, pushing myself up on his chest so that I could look him in the eyes. He smiled down at me gently, his left hand reaching up and tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. I closed my eyes and bit my tongue, stopping myself from telling him how he was making me feel, confessing to him that I wanted more from this than what was reasonable.

"You have to go, don't you?" he suddenly asked, his voice solemn.

He seemed genuinely upset, and his question took me off guard, but I knew that he was right. I knew that I did have to go, that Edward was home waiting, and that even thought I wanted to stay here with him for the rest of the night...I couldn't.

I was just about to open my mouth to answer him when Rosalie's familiar ring tone interrupted. Quickly, I managed to pull myself together and roll out of his embrace, grabbing his flannel button down shirt off the floor. I wrapped it around me and hurried to my purse, reaching around my wallet and sunglasses for my phone.

"Rosalie," Jacob said, a knowing glint in his eyes, because he was with me enough to recognize the sound of her personal tune.

"Rose," I said into the receiver, looking pointedly at Jacob before turning my back to him. It was easier to lie, easier to ignore the guilt when I wasn't looking directly into the eyes of the man responsible for my deceptions.

"Isabella Swan, I hope you're having a _great _time, but you will absolutely, positively never guess who I just ran into." She sounded chipper and enthusiastic, and something about the edge to her tone and the way she dragged out and emphasized the word "great" made me feel uneasy.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, biting my bottom lip while trying to conjure up all of the possible prospects accountable for her excitement. "Who?"

"Angela," she said simply, bluntly, and I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach as if someone had just kicked me directly in the gut.

I knew that I needed to speak, to respond, to try to come up some explanation to justify why I wasn't with her, but my voice was caught in the base of my throat, my words lost in a pit of shock and horror.

I was caught.

My lie was exposed.

Slowly, I turned around to face Jacob again, my hand frozen around my phone as I somehow managed to hold it steadily against my ear. I could her my heart beating loudly inside of my head, echoing in my ears as I tried to communicate with him silently across the small space between us.

_Rose knows. She knows. It's over._

_

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**A/N: I passed my boards! Life is great! Thanks for reading and if you feel so inclined, don't forget to let me know what you think. **

**Naturally, I must thank my ficlovah, betawife, Christina aka my hubby is no edward, for her fabulous support and ever-so-adorable voice. Her fic What's Lust Got to do with it? is one of my favs and is currently coming to an incredible end. If you aren't reading it, well...you should be.**

**Wave Two of The Underdog Awards voting is now going on. Head over the to The Air, The Sun livejournal community to vote for your fav J/B fics. I think FFY was nominated. :-) Just an FYI, the FFY epilogue is next on my to-do list. We shall see how that goes. **

**Finally, I have a blog now which I upload SIS teasers and other fun stuff. You can find me at live720[DOT]blogspot[DOT]com. Until next time, my sweets. *muah***


	11. Remembering All You Are

**Disclaimer: I don't own a damn thing. Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just like to play with the characters.**

**This chapter kicked my ass, be easy on me, my dears.**

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**Seventh Inning Stretch**

**Chapter 11: Remembering All You Are**

I could feel Rosalie's piercing eyes on me as I passed Edward's father the bowl of green beans. The heavenly aroma of homemade turkey filled the air as the Cullen family and I sat down for our usual Sunday afternoon meal. Rose had watched me like a hawk throughout the entire morning service and had been staring at me for the past five minutes at her spot across the table, her threatening stare practically burning a hole through my head. We had yet to discuss what happened the other day after her run-in with Angela, and I still wasn't entirely sure what excuse I was going to feed her, or if she was even going to believe me. I knew she wanted some answers, particularly as to why I had lied to her about my whereabouts, and perhaps she already knew all about my affair with Jacob.

"I just know you'll love it, Bella," Edward's mother said enthusiastically as she scooped out some mashed potatoes with a spoon and forced them onto her plate. "It has a short train, it's simple, just everything I think you would want in a wedding dress."

"Sounds beautiful, Esme," I forced myself to say, purposely looking everywhere but in Rose's direction. "Maybe I'll make an appointment to try it on next weekend."

"Are you sure that's such a good idea?"

My eyes flashed to the beautiful blonde sitting across from me. Movement around the table immediately ceased in response to the harsh tone of her voice as an awkward silence filled the air around us.

I sucked in a breath and could see Edward moving uncomfortably out of the corner of my eye. He placed down his fork with an audible clank just before taking a gulp of water to wash down his food.

"Why wouldn't it be, Rose?" he asked, leaning in closer to me in protection, his eyebrows raised with inquisition.

"Well, I'm just saying, " Rose started, politely wiping her mouth with her napkin before placing it neatly down in front of her again, "perhaps Bella needs to figure some things out before she shops for her wedding dress."

The room grew unbearably hot as I slumped further down in my seat while giving Rose a confused expression. The tension around the table was palpable, and I could sense the stares of the Cullen family flickering between us. Why was she doing this to me in front of everyone? She couldn't be that cruel, could she?

Edward, completely clueless to our exchange, draped his arm over the back of my chair and cleared his throat before asking, "What's to figure out? We love each other immensely. I asked her to marry me-she said yes. We're going to have the grandest wedding D.C. has ever seen, so don't you think that right there is a fantastic reason as to why my beautiful bride-to-be should be picking out her dress?"

Rose kept her eyes focused only on me, ignoring Edward's reasoning all together.

"Of course," she said through a tight smile, her gaze holding mine. "What's to figure out?"

Dinner carried on as usual from that point. Emmett obviously sensed something in the silent exchange between me and Rose, and he quickly jumped in to change the subject to politics – something he and Edward could argue about for hours.

I could feel Edward's tension still, even after dinner had ended and we all helped clear the table. Plate by plate, spoon by spoon, he was watching me, studying me, examining Rose and internally questioning himself as to why the two of us seemed to be acting this way. I knew him better than I knew myself. I knew when he wasn't going to let it go. For now, we'd go about our business. For now, we'd play our parts in the act...the loving couple preparing for wedded bliss. But I knew, and he knew...I was slipping away, Rose was acting strange, and suddenly my pulse, my _heart, _was throbbing steadily inside of my head as the walls of kitchen became a clouded mess of my life's mystery.

His hand was on my lower back, his mouth to my ear, as I held a plate under the steady stream of the faucet, watching the leftover turkey and beans combine together as a liquid running down the garbage disposal.

"What's up with Rose?" he whispered, his breath, his question-both making the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

"What do you mean?" I asked out loud, turning around so my eyes could cautiously look around for any audience, and realizing the only two left in the kitchen besides us were Esme and Rose, they were both chatting with ease about a new picture Esme had hung above the fireplace in the family room.

"Local art auction...only five hundred dollars..." I picked up bits and pieces of their conversation.

"Bella." My name was spoken in an authoritative nature. Edward was making it clear to me that he was tired of my games.

"Edward," I mocked, pushing past him to place the rinsed plate into the bottom rack of Carlisle and Esme's ridiculously expensive dishwasher.

"Did you have a fight?" he asked, his expression difficult to read as he placed his hand on my shoulder to stop me from continuing with the clean up.

"I don't know," I said through a sigh, crossing my arms protectively across my midsection as my eyes focused on Esme and Rose's retreating forms as they left the kitchen, still lost in their conversation, leaving me alone to deal with the disaster I'd made. After they were gone, I could still feel his eyes on me, waiting for me to look in his direction. But I didn't. I couldn't. I stared at a spot to the right of his face, biting my lip and struggling to hold myself together. I could feel it coming, could feel it bubbling up and threatening to explode, my emotions on display in front of everyone. _My breakdown. _How much longer could I keep up this charade? How much longer could I continue to lie to the man that I love?

His hand was touching, lightly feathering a path beneath my chin as he tilted my head, waiting for me to look at him.

My eyes met his, and I crumbled. His face blurred behind a sea of salt water as I gasped for air, my lungs fighting in desperation for the oxygen needed for survival.

Both of his hands were on my face as I shook my head back and forth against the touch I would never deserve.

This wasn't happening. None of it. Not in Esme's kitchen...

"Hey now..." I could hear Edward speaking. "I'm sure it will all work out. Rose will get over it."

_My God_. He still thought this was about _her_. How could he be so clueless? How could he not smell another man's scent on my skin? Day after day-night after night. How? I just wanted him to figure it out for himself. I was angry with him for not figuring it out for himself, even though I knew that was ludicrous. I had no right.

"No, Edward," I managed to say, sobering up from my intoxication with my guilt-ridden grief. "It will not work out."

I pulled out of his embrace, collecting my broken pieces as I wiped the moisture away from around my eyes, and streaking my cheeks.

"Oh my God," a voice called from the kitchen entryway. _Rose_. Always the best timing, of course.

I turned my back to her as I tried to cover up my breakdown, clearing my throat and smoothing my hair.

"Bella?" she asked. The silence that followed was unbearable.

"You told him," she finally said.

_No._ I don't have that kind of courage.

I turned to face her, preparing myself for what I knew she was about to say next, straightening up my posture and taking a deep breath in. My life was about to fall apart. Edward would never look at me the same again, would never touch me with the tenderness only a lover could provide.

"Oh God," she said again, surely in response to what I could only imagine I looked like in that moment. "Oh, Edward," she said in sincere sympathy, taking a few steps toward him, reaching out at first and then thinking better of it, letting her hands drop back to her sides. "I'm so sorry. I know you weren't ready to be a father, but this has to be unbearable."

"What?" My voice meshed with Edward's as the question escaped both of our lips at the exact same time.

Almost instantly, Edward's face shot in my direction. I could see him out of the corner of my eye as I continued to stare at Rose, my mouth open in shock.

"What is she talking about?" he asked me, but I couldn't respond, couldn't answer because my mind was trying to wrap itself around the solution. My head spun as I realized that my soon-to-be marriage may not be over yet after all.

"I...I don't...Rose, I don't understand," I mumbled, trying to make sense of the situation.

"Please keep your voices down," she whispered fiercely, stepping closer to us as she glanced over her back in wariness. "If Esme found out you had an abortion, she'd have a heart attack right here, right now."

"An abortion?" Edward nearly yelled, crossing the distance between us as he grabbed my wrist, forcing me to look at him. "Bella, what did you do? What is she saying? You were _pregnant_?"

"Oh boy, " I heard Rose say before I could respond. "She didn't tell you..."

"Jesus, Rose," I said, taking Edward's hands in mine. "No, Edward," I said, sternly, reassuringly. "I wasn't...God, of course I wasn't. You know I would never lie to you about something like that."

_Hypocrite_. I was lying to him about something far worse.

Turning my attention to Rose again, I dropped Edward's hands and ran my own frustratingly through my hair, completely baffled by her outrageous accusation. Is this what she thought I was up to? Did she not know about Jacob after all?

"I have no idea what you think is going on here," I said to her, unsuccessfully trying to put the pieces together. "I'm not pregnant...was never...and what the hell? Why on Earth would you even think that I was? That I wouldn't tell Edward?"

I knew that I shouldn't be, that I had no right to be, but I was offended. I was hurt that she would ever assume I was capable of such an act.

"Angela said..." she started to say but trailed off, her eyes zoning out as she appeared to be lost in thought, confused. "I was wrong?" she eventually asked.

"Angela said? What did she say?" I questioned, frantically.

"I am such an idiot," she said instead of responding, glancing at Edward again. "I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to scare you."

"Rose, what did she say?" I pressured again.

"I don't remember exactly, " she said in defeat. "Something about your hormones most likely being out of whack, that she saw you at an abortion clinic the other day. And then it just clicked and she didn't have to say anything more. It just seemed to make perfect sense...why you were never home, why you've been so spacey lately, why Edward was asking me if I knew why you've been so distant..."

My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. Edward went to Rosalie. I wasn't convincing anyone.

"Edward?" I asked, quietly, my voice coming out all throaty and wrong.

He ducked his head, looking almost ashamed as he ran his hand through his hair. "You haven't been yourself, and I was concerned. I thought you might have confided in her. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone to my sister for something that was clearly between us, but I just...I asked you many times, and you always just pushed me aside like I was crazy."

"Um...I'll leave you two alone," Rose said awkwardly, clearing her throat and quickly leaving us to sort through our issues.

I didn't know what to say. I was tired and drained, completely incapable of coming up with anymore excuses for my bizarre and inexcusable behavior.

"Please don't apologize to me," I eventually managed, closing the distance between us, wrapping my arms around his waist, pulling him into me, shutting my eyes and breathing him in. "You have nothing to be sorry for," I said, my voice muffled against his chest.

His arms found their way around me, wrapping me up in the only place I should belong. But I ruined that, ruined us and the future that seemed more and more unlikely with each passing day.

I might have told him then...I was ready to let it all be over and out in the open, but I knew it wasn't the time or the place. We weren't alone. We were both fragile, neither of us ready to face the truth.

* * *

Monday morning I found myself migrating the aisles of the local grocery store, crossing off items on my list and getting frustrated with the store's spontaneous remodeling job, which made it difficult for me to find anything. After walking up and down various aisles multiple times, I reached the unfortunate decision that Edward would have to go the next week without his favorite fruit snacks.

After standing in line for ten minutes and writing a two hundred and fifty dollar check, I was comfortably seated in my Range Rover, heading back home to unload and spend the rest of the day cleaning up the house to prepare for my and Edward's annual anniversary dinner.

On this day, four years ago, Edward officially asked me to be with him over a romantic dinner of meatless lasagna, Caesar salads, and several glasses of champagne. On this day, every year following, I would recreate the same meal we shared that night, and we would spend the evening reminiscing together, no work calls or lap-tops allowed.

However, this year things were different-they had been ever since the little fiasco at his parent's house one day prior. I was feeling uneasy and unprepared, as if this day, this _night,_ was somehow going to make or break us. Lie after lie I had told, and I was exhausted and finished, completely ready to just be free of this burden I held-this guilt that consumed me. Rosalie still hadn't gotten the excuse she craved, and I had been avoiding her calls, trying to come up with a reason for my bizarre behavior. I knew that I still needed to call Angela, ask her about the whole abortion fiasco. Of course, Angela rarely needed an excuse for the way that she acted. My mind was whirling, my driveway appearing without me ever realizing I had gone anywhere at all. I put the car in park and leaned my head back against the headrest, taking in a deep breath while attempting to clear my mind.

A conversation I had with Angela months ago was playing in my brain on repeat.

_"Don't tell Edward anything," she had said in response to my first night with Jacob. "This is your cross to bear, not his. Telling him will only crush him. You need to suck it up and live with the guilt."_

Sure, that was good advice at the time, but little did she know that I would continue seeing Jacob...particularly without clothes on, over and over...and over again. So did that mean that her words still rang true? Was it unfair of me to tell Edward the truth just so I didn't have to feel guilty anymore?

I knew deep down I had other motives for my deceit. I knew that if I told Edward about Jacob then I'd have to be prepared to live without one of them. Maybe Edward would leave me...more than likely he would, and then I'd be free to be with Jacob. My chest ached at the thought. But then...if for some reason Edward found it in his heart to forgive me, to put this behind us and continue on with our future as planned, surely I'd have to end it with Jacob entirely. Quit him cold turkey and never see or talk to him again. My heart broke at the thought.

I cared too much about both of them, was in too deep, and there was no going back. Whatever the result, I was going to lose. Cheaters never win.

Pushing my thoughts and dilemmas aside, I eventually found my way out of the car and onto the pavement, collecting some of the grocery bags and carrying them to the front door. I fumbled with my keys, hearing them hit the porch with a clank of mockery. Cursing under my breath, I was just about to clear my arms of my bags and bend down to retrieve the keys when the front door flung open-revealing a very amused Edward.

"Need some help?" Edward asked, a comical expression on his face.

I stared at him in confusion for a second.

"What are you doing home?" I questioned, one of the bags slipping from it's spot between my bent elbow and ribcage. "Shit!" I cursed, trying to bend down and retrieve it while balancing the rest of the groceries.

"Here, let me take those," he said through a short laugh, relieving me of the weight I carried and walking into the house.

I followed him into the kitchen, resisting the urge to reach up and scratch the back of my head the same way one might do in a state of perplexity.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" he asked, turning around and greeting me once more with a huge smile splitting his face.

"Of course I am," I started to say in my defense, "but I just...you never come home for lunch."

"Happy Anniversary!" he said enthusiastically, taking a few steps in my direction and picking me up in a giant bear hug. "I'm not just home for lunch," he added, his lips brushing against my ear.

"What?" I asked, his uncharacteristic enthusiasm contagious.

"I have a few surprises for you," he explained, releasing me from his embrace. I watched him, unable to move as I tried to wrap my mind around his presence here. He was acting far too casual about all of this-digging through the grocery bags and putting away the items that needed refrigeration.

"You're really not going back to work?" I questioned in disbelief. In all the years that we'd been together, Edward had never, ever missed a day of work. It just wasn't possible. At least, that's what he always countered with when I asked him why.

"Nope," he said with a slight pop to the "p."

"I don't understand," I replied, still slightly dazed.

"Why don't you just go get freshened up? I'll take care of the rest of this," he assured me, nodding me in the direction of the staircase.

"Oh, all right," I said, finally able to give him a slight grin. "What do you have up your sleeve, Mr. Cullen?

"Just go," he urged, playfully pushing me out of the kitchen.

"Okay, okay," I said, holding my hands up in surrender. "I'm going."

* * *

The bandanna was securely wrapped around my eyes, but I knew where he had taken me the moment he helped me out of the car. The feel of the ground beneath my feet, the idle chatter of people passing us by, and the slight breeze gently blowing my tangled hair in my face...this was home. Or at least the second best thing.

"The museum," I said, a grin surely lighting up my face because nothing made me happier than being here.

"Okay, Houdini," he said through his typical laugh as he untied the knot behind my head, slowly pulling the red cloth from my eyes to reveal my old place of employment, the place where we met, the place where he asked me to be his wife. "How did you know?"

"Oh, Edward," I remarked, genuinely excited as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into me. "I know this place better than I know myself. How did you know I missed it?"

"Because I know my girl," he said, lightly touching his lips with mine before adding, "and I wanted to take you back to the place where it all started for us. I remember you...remember the first day I saw you working here as if it were just yesterday. You took my breath away. I still get that same feeling every time I look at you."

My heart dropped for a second, but before I could reflect on my guilty conscience too long, Edward was wrapping his hand around mine, pulling me into the museum and buying us tickets.

* * *

The day spent with Edward was nothing short of perfect. It was the best time, in a long time, that I could remember spending with him. Sometime over the course of the day, whether it was while he was sneaking kisses in the dark corridors of the Holocaust Museum or singing me my favorite songs while we had a light picnic under a few cherry blossom trees, something inside of me changed. I forgot all about Jacob, all about the constant want and desire I felt for him. My only reminders of our depraved relationship were presented to me by a familiar ringtone and number that often lit up the screen of my Blackberry. Pushing ignore, and any thoughts of him aside, I would quickly turn my attention back to Edward, assuring him it was nothing...or no one of importance.

I finally felt that connection between us again, the spark, that something special that made me fall for him in the first place. Today was just the day that I needed to clear my head, to make a decision to finally put everything behind me and focus on Edward and the bond that we shared. I had been acting foolish and ridiculous, thinking that I could handle seeing two men at the same time. I knew it wasn't possible, that eventually one of them would have to go. Today had made me realize which of the two it had to be.

That night, as I laid my head down on my pillow, hearing the water for Edward's shower running steadily from down the hallway, I reflected over the events of the day and the laughs Edward and I shared. I let myself cry for everything that I had done to him, to us and our relationship. I let myself cry for Jacob and everything that we could have been had we met under different circumstances. Finally, I let myself cry for the secret I knew I would forever keep, the guilt I'd have to learn to live with to protect the man that I love. I fell asleep before Edward returned, dreaming of museums and cherry trees, of a wedding dress and a groom...a groom that looked nothing like the man I was supposed to be marrying, but rather, a different dark haired, dark skinned Native American waited for me at the end of the rose petal covered aisle.

The next morning, I woke with a start, sitting straight up from my pillow and glancing around the sun-painted room as though Jacob would still be there waiting for me. Realizing it was all a dream, I let out a slow breath before stretching my arms above my head and examining the jeans I still wore from yesterday. A silver bracelet now garnishing my once bare wrist caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. Lifting my hand up to examine the beautiful _Pandora _beads, a slow smile spread across my face as the person responsible for it came to my mind.

Shaking my head at my idiocy for falling asleep during our first romantic night in a long time, I was just about to climb out of bed when I noticed a large packet lying on Edward's pillow.

A note attached read:_ "To my future bride, you fell asleep before I had the chance to give you your gifts. Yesterday was the best day I've had in a long time. Thanks for making me smile. Love, E."_

I reached for the large envelope labeled _George Washington University_, ripping it open and reading pamphlet after pamphlet of information. Finally, at the very back of the papers, hidden behind all of the information and majors that the university had to offer, sat an application. Edward had already started it for me, filling in some of the blanks, letting me know that he supported me and my decision.

It was the best present ever given...and a lot more than I deserved.

* * *

**End Note: Hey, guess what? I'm an Occupational Therapist now! Yep, that's right, I help out little kiddos in local school districts. **

**God help them, right? **

**Anyway, it keeps me busy so I apologize for delays in updates.**

**Special thanks to my ficwife, **_**my hubby is no edward**_**, who has been sickly for like months now. **

**Seriously, she needs to get rid of that shit so she can spend more time with me. I'm not selfish, I swear. **

**Also, thanks to **_**Jkane180**_** for her beta skillz with a "z."**

**Finally, if you haven't heard already, I'm part of a new wolf pack fic rec site. **

**Come pay us a visit: www[DOT]phasefics[DOT]com. **

**Later babes.**


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